Today, I went to TGI Friday's with my crush. At the end of our meal, the waitress gave us mints with the bill. He said something that made me laugh, and I began choking on my mint. After a few coughs, I finally managed to get it out. It hit him in the forehead and landed in his drink. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went out to eat with friends. My crush was also at the restaurant with his friends. He smiled at me as I took a mouthful of food, and I choked. The waitress had to perform the Heimlich maneuver on me, while he and his friends fell off their chairs laughing. FML
Today, I went on a date with someone I really like. Midway through dinner, I felt something stuck in my teeth and, trying to be discreet, attempted to remove it. In the process, I flicked a piece of food across the table and it landed in his drink. He looked at it, then at me, then sighed. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. Everything was going great until I laughed so hard at one of his jokes that I snorted, choked on my drink, and accidentally slapped his face while trying to cover my mouth. We didn't order dessert. FML
Today, while at a restaurant with my boyfriend, a piece of ice got stuck in my throat. I couldn't get his attention until after it melted because he was busy checking in on foursquare. When he finally noticed my freaking out and I told him what had happened, he laughed. FML
Today, I was watching a romantic comedy at my boyfriend's house. During the make out scene, I decided to go in for a kiss. He apparently decided to belch at the same time. I could taste it. FML
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, I was sitting with my crush at lunch. Trying to flirt, I tried to stare seductively into his eyes while sucking on my straw. I missed. The straw shot straight up my nose, causing me the worst nose bleed of my life. FML
Today, I went on a date for the first time in months. Over dessert, my date told a joke, and I tittered vigorously, causing me to choke and throw up all over him. FML
Today, I went to a restaurant for a second date. As we were eating, a piece of food got stuck in my teeth. I tried to discreetly remove it, but ended up spitting it across the table and onto my date's glasses. FML
Today, I went out to lunch with a couple of work buddies. Trying to be suave, I started hitting on our waitress. Not two seconds after saying, "Hey baby," I felt ice water on my balls. The guy next to me had spilled both our water glasses. FML
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Top comments
my_fml_account 2
If he still wants to hang out with you after being hit in the face by projectile mints he's clearly into you. I applaud you for pioneering new ways of finding out if someone likes you.
pizz0wn3d 0
10 points!
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Comments (115)
thedarkfreak 0
boom headshot.
elsieenchanted 0
Tehe. :D
ohmymg 0
If it happened to me,I would prbably start saying ew and laugh
Bobii_fml 0
Did he laugh, If it was me i would have lol
PhysOptGuy 0
Serves you right for going to TGI Fridays on a DATE! That is just a lack of taste.
Common_Sense 0
Psh, this is so fake..
not_a_valentine 0
Fake.
mandyyybitchhh 0
Lmao #58 But yeah GAYYY
DoctorDoomed_fml 0
Your life is obviously a romantic comedy. Don't sweat it, you'll be all awkward for awhile, much hilarity will ensue, then there will be a happy ending.
tutupr 0
yeah this will for sure make a good story
ProfMus 0
Good shot.
sparxva 12
Agreed! Nice marksmanship. Invite him to a gun range for the second date.
mjmnkl15 0
your fault for eating at a shity resturaunt like TGI Friday