Today, I went to my local pool. I lay down in a chair and started tanning. About 30 minutes later, a lady came up to me and said, "Put that away, you pervert, there are children here!" I had a hole in my pants and my penis had started to poke through. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to the pool. When I hit the water the top of my swimsuit came off so I tried to put it on underwater. The lifeguard thought I was drowning and pulled me out in front of everyone. Topless. FML
Today, I went swimming at a public pool. When I dove in, my speedos decided they’d had enough of me and slipped right off. I spent a minute underwater debating my life choices before realizing they’d floated to the shallow end, right next to a group of giggling kids. FML
Today, working as a life guard, I walked through the changing room to go back to the pool. On the way, a naked old man started up a conversation with me. We talked for 10 minutes about pool chemicals, while his penis wobbled around with every small movement. This happens all the time. FML
Today, I went to the pool with my son. One moment I'm sitting down, applying sunscreen to my legs, and the next I look up to see him squatting on the diving board, seconds before dropping a deuce into the pool. As we got kicked out, he screamed that it was my fault. FML
Today, I got naked in front of a girl for the first time. Too bad it happened when my "friends" pulled down my swimsuit at a party. Everyone saw my penis. I got a boner. FML
Today, sun was shining and I felt confident enough to go sunbathing at the beach. In only my bikini and towel, I laid out to get some sun. A while later, a little girl came up to me and said, "Aren't you embarrassed that you're so huge?" FML
Today, I went to the beach. While I was swimming, I noticed a few really hot guys passing. Trying to be sexy, I slowly got out of the water, showing off my body. I showed a bit more than I expected when I realized my bikini bottom had fallen off. FML
Today, while working as a lifeguard, a kid took a dump in the pool. When I told everyone to clear the pool so we could clean it, another kid promptly stared at me, stood at the shallow end right where I was standing, pulled down his trunks, and peed on my feet. FML
Today, I went to the pool with my new white bathers. I felt really good about myself because everyone was staring at me until this hot guy came up to me and said "Dude, your bathers are see-through. You need to shave!" FML
Today, I caught my elderly neighbour skinny-dipping in my pool. FML
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Top comments
caitiebug1119 15
Your life sucks, but I gotta ask: did you not feel a breeze or something down there?
flashback.miss 28
Parents jumping to conclusions, @@ but yeah, 1 has a point, didn't you feel a draft or was it warm at the pool? Hopefully you explained and things worked out okay. Just take a lesson to double check your clothes next time. :)
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Comments (112)
amadorsd 10
Talk about going commando haha wrong pair of pants buddy
buckdharma 38
The prairie marmot slowly pops his head up from his burrow. With a keen eye for danger he observes his surroundings. Suddenly a badger appears. He beats a hasty retreat back to his nuts. He has made it. Life is oh so sweet.
SasquatchDeluxe 10
YDI for not noticing it. Be glad she didn't call the cops, or you might have wound up having to register as a sex offender the rest of your life.
r0cks0 6
You could have had the police take you away, count yourself lucky. Simple accident my ass
Ranimal 12
I really did "lol" in real life. Don't worry OP, most guys have had that happen, most likely more than once.
dakotahulsey 15
So you were Laying down and not moving, but thirty minutes later it started to come out? Sounds like someone started having some interesting dreams
djinnyf 12
Oh come on! If it'svisible that it's a hole, she could have been nicer!
caligirllife 11
I figured this was a post by a girl because of the tanning.
row74 7
I had a similar experience once with a pair of my friends shorts that turned out to be transparent when wet.
Sykes_1014 0
Maybe it wanted to get tanned too lol