Today, I went to my gynecologist's for a check-up. After the doctor checked me I went to the bathroom. It turns out the walls aren't soundproofed, because I could hear the doctor telling his assistant, "God! How did she ever find a husband?" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I went to the gynecologist. In the waiting room they had decorative words that spelled out "Relax" and "Enjoy". FML
Foot meet mouth
Today, I overheard a coworker talking about going to what sounded like a dentist's appointment. As she left later, I jokingly said, "Remember to open wide!" Turned out her appointment was with her OB/GYN, not a dentist. FML
Today, I realised that the last three people to see my intimate parts these last weeks were my beautician, my doctor and the lady who did my check up ultra sound. Oh, and I'm married. FML
Today, I was at a party. Trying to overcome my social anxiety, I was trying to take part in conversations. So, when a girl mentioned she had a doctor's appointment next morning, I blurted out: "What kind of a doctor?" Everyone stared as she responded: "A gynaecologist." FML
Today, I was getting sick of listening to the guy in the next room over getting nasty with some girl, so I called my girlfriend to see if she wanted to go get some food. Then I heard her phone ring. Through the wall. FML
Relaxed
Today, I was very tense as I sat in the chair for my gyno appointment, so the doctor repeatedly told me to relax, in order for her to do the routine exam. I then overcompensated and relaxed so much, I accidentally farted in her face. FML
Jim Henson lives
Today, I was at the gynecologist and he was performing a routine check-up. He was a new doctor and I was just slightly uncomfortable with him. About mid-check-up, as he felt around my uterus, he said in a cartoonish voice, "Oh, it's so squishy up here." The doctor turned me into a sock puppet. FML
Today, I was sitting in the doctor's waiting room and thought that I was alone. I let rip two massive farts before realising there was a very short woman behind the computer screen at the desk. FML
The sound of silence
Today, the walls in my house are so thin that I heard my roommate yell from the bathroom upstairs, "Hear my butthole roar." Now I’m scared to use the bathroom after him. FML
Pissed
Today, at work, I had to use the bathroom to urinate. It's basically in an open plan office, so everyone can hear absolutely everything. After successfully and discreetly doing my business, I noticed a bit of dirt on the wall. I gave it a rub with my thumb on the smooth tile. It sounded exactly like a loud fart. FML
Top comments
Palirose 22
You should have came out and said, "with that attitude it makes me wonder how you still have patients coming to see you" then promptly left.
HeyArnold91 8
Should have replied "No complaints from my husband".
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Comments (114)
clue_me_in 20
The doctor is/was unprofessional and rude if he was talking about you like that. Especially to someone else. If you really don't like it, find another doctor and make sure he knows you heard him.
onorexveritas 24
ewwwwwww
halfnhalf77 1
This just made me sad. Idky.
lelo007 11
Maybe he wasn't talking about OP and she is just self conscious. I agree, maybe he didn't need to say it out loud where there is the possibility of others hearing it, but if he thought he couldn't be heard, you can't really blame him.
hateevryone 15
I wouldn't go to him again.
agonydrum 7
You're dumb
TxMonster 4
You all have it wrong. She really had a snuke lodged up in there.
blink_kid 32
This sounds incredibly unprofessional, to the point I truly don't think he was talking about you. Perhaps about a particularly annoying co-worker. I find it very hard to believe someone in the medical profession would be so so insensitive. Or they need to find a new job.
patrick29 1
What a horrible thing to say!
loccsta83 5
Does it look like a pack of bologna folded in half? If so I'd still tap that.
pabst4america 1
Amen