Today, I went to my girlfriend's Catholic all girls high school to ask her to prom by decorating her car. As soon as I walked on campus the school went into lock down because of a "suspicious male intruder." When I saw my girlfriend, she denied knowing me. I was arrested. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, a girl I've been talking to online for a while asked me if I wanted to meet her in person. Two hours of driving later, I end up at her house. When she opened the door, she screamed and called the cops on me. While detained, she called my phone asking why I never showed up today. FML
Today, I went to visit teachers at the high school I graduated from 3 months ago as valedictorian. Turns out, I had an expired parking permit, and I didn't properly get a visitor pass. The school went into a "yellow lockdown" because of me. My car was towed. I got arrested for trespassing. FML
Backfire
Today, I decided to surprise my girlfriend at work. Because she was "bored and didn't feel like seeing me" she thought it would be funny to call security and claim that I was stalking her. There is now a picture of my face at her workplace, and anytime I "pester her again" the cops will show up. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to have fun at school. So, we went into the locker room. We were making out for a couple minutes when the door opened. It was the principal, who also happens to be her dad. FML
Joe Smooth move
Today, I was in school when I spotted my girlfriend in the hallway. I wanted to be all romantic and grab her like guys do in movies. I grabbed her wrist forcefully and pulled her out of the crowd. As I quickly leaned in to kiss her, I broke her nose. FML
Up to no good, sonny Jim ?
Today, I went to the dentist in the same building my wife works. I decided to leave a love note on her car to surprise her. I'm currently being held by security, waiting on the cops, on suspicion of stalking. FML
Today, I went to meet my girlfriend's parents at her sister's play. The moment I introduced myself, I realized that her father was my probation officer. FML
Today, I tried sneaking over to my girlfriend's house to be romantic and knocked on her window. She went and got her mother to see who was at the window. FML
Sneaky
Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house because I knew his parents wouldn't be there. Later, I woke up in a hospital bed because his sister thought I was a burglar and tased me. FML
Today, I asked a girl to prom by having 5 friends hold up signs saying "P-R-O-M-?" while I snuck up behind her. She said yes... to my friend holding the "?", who she thought was the one asking her. FML
Top comments
ombrelle 0
how can you still call her your girlfriend? She clearly doesn't care about you I mean she got you arrested!
Carnivaldead 0
Might want to consider getting a new girlfriend.
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Comments (233)
ohhhhshizzz 0
#80: Unless you have been to ALL of the Catholic schools, I suggest you stop calling fake because you do not know a school's tolerance. And he may have looked suspicious trying to sneak everything there, just in case he ran into his gf & that is what they saw. OP: Dude, that sucks but really her car? At school? Do it in the morning, that way all her friends have the whole day to see it.
C0okieMonster 0
#132 - I have not been to every Catholic school, and no, I do not know every school's tolerance magnitude. I mean, I understand a person being kicked out of campus or lock down but, being arrested? That's a little bit too harsh. That's why I called it fake. But, I already apologized if I seemed to harsh on my opinion, it's just a point of view.
xxstealthxx 0
thats really alittle over reacting that the school went into lockdown and that you got arrested. worse part is that your girlfriend says that she doesnt know you, thats really cold of her. too bad you and her didnt live near me. i wouldve helped you egg the shit out of her house or something.
xO_starstruck_xO 0
you have a horrible gf! looks like thats a "no" for prom, sorry.
DoctorManhattan 0
Sexual segregation is as awful as racial segregation, and only serves to undermine decades of work toward equality. That it's a private, religious institution that's permitted to operate with discriminatory principles like this doesn't make it any less wrong, only legal. Any parents under the impression that sexual segregation is a better way to teach children and that it somehow makes them better at dealing with the opposite sex are deluding themselves. That said, it was probably a dumb idea to sneak onto their campus, and the whole "painting someone's car to ask them out" thing is in general a really, really stupid way of asking a simple question. Not only is it always somewhat humiliating to the recipient, it's also potentially humiliating to both parties if the recipient says "no". Be an adult and ask her directly and you won't look like a moron and risk charges of vandalism and trespassing and such. Regardless, there's no way you should have been arrested for something like that, and there's probably legal recourse available to keep yourself from actually getting into trouble over this. And if you were only in the parking lot and the lot was accessible from the street (especially if it didn't have any kind of gate system), you could argue that an infinite number of male drivers could mistakenly make a wrong turn into the driveway, circle the lot and leave, and that just because they both have penises and are on the property, to arrest them all would be some kind of nightmarish joke of law enforcement that takes no consideration of context and merely serves to satisfy someone's sadistic desire for absolute control over keeping anything with a penis out of a goddamned parking lot. And it goes without saying that your girlfriend is kind of a bitch.
mezentius 0
#133: It's trespassing, you can get arrested for that and people often do.
Eiotlrd 0
YDI for dating a Catholic girl....... you'll be thanking me a year from now because of your severe case of blue balls.
FreedomFirst 0
That was pretty rude of her, but you should have known better. Those Catholic schools are practically prisons and the teachers have no sense of humor, no common sense, and are jealous of everyone who gets to have sex. They hate everyone and everything and it's no wonder your girlfriend was afraid to admit knowing you. She'd probably have gotten disciplined for it.
Teapartymonster 0
Invite her best friend instead
lolthatsasucker 0
Dump her and get a new one. Apparantley that girl doesn't really seem to love you that much.