Today, I went to get my friend a drink while she sat in the lounge watching TV with my dog. When I came back, I found her licking my dogs ears. She said he dared her to do it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, when petting my friend's dog, I acted like I was going to make out with him. While I wasn't looking the dog stuck his entire tongue in my mouth. FML
Today, I caught my dog drinking from the toilet. After yelling at him, his apology was licking my face. FML
Today, I decided to play with my dog. I sat on the ground and whistled for him to come to me. I smiled when I saw him running at my happily. He sniffed me, turned around, lifted his leg and peed on me. FML
Today, I was laying on a couch with my dog watching TV when I heard my dog fart. I looked at her, she looked at me and started waving her tail, blowing it into my direction. FML
Today, I hugged my dog and kissed her on the side of the face. She responded by mauling me across my own face. FML
Today, a friend came over to meet my new dog. The dog got excited and accidentally peed on him. I went to the kitchen to get something to clean it up. When I came back, my new dog was covered in my friend's pee. My friend claimed that peeing on my dog "showed dominance." FML
Today, I had a date with a woman. She brought her dog along. Everytime I touched her, her jealous male dog began to bark and tried to bite me. FML
Today, some of my buddies were playing truth or dare. As I got to the group, one guy was dared to ding dong ditch. He did so, and the owner of the house let his big ol' dog out to chase us. It only ran after me the whole time. FML
Today, I picked my dog up and nibbled her ear. On the tip of her ear was a large tick, which burst, sending blood into my mouth. FML
Today, I was playing with my dog, when she started sniffing my face. Jokingly, I got up and started to sniff her face back and asked "Yeah, how do you like that?" She replied by biting into my face. FML
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Top comments
Blahp 0
Yay for weird friends!
nikkers 0
least the dog only dared her to lick its ears...
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Comments (100)
me1221 0
wow. your friend is retarded.
hadescomet 0
My dog talks to me too.
zachattackkk 0
#56, NOBODY ******* CARES HOW MANY TIMES YOU THINK YOU WERE FIRST, ESPECIALLY WHEN THERE'S 55 COMMENTS BEFORE YOURS
NyronNosworthy 0
Rofl when I read this I thought 'ears' said 'arse'.... so it could of been worse...
tommysalami90 0
Now You Know Your Dog Isn't Your Best Friend Anymore!
Zakky_Ketchup 0
**** furfags man. Shit's disgusting.
Kenada500 0
Get new friends.
marcustan 0
yuckkkkkkkksssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
blastvortex 4
You make strange friends, OP.
chrissy888 0
F the dog's L. Also: probably the most ****** up FML i've ever read. thank you.