Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. When I opened the drawer, I saw that every single condom had a Jesus pin stabbed through it, and a note on top of the box saying, "Love, mom." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went into my older brother's room to get a condom. This happened the other day too when my boyfriend forgot one. So I went in and there was a note that said, "Stop using my condoms. And your boyfriend sounds like a girl when he climaxes." FML
Today, while my boyfriend was packing for his annual hunting trip, I saw him slip a box of condoms into his bag. FML
Today, I was at the store, when I saw my boyfriend in line in front of me. I looked to see what he was purchasing; it was a pack of condoms. When I questioned him, he said that, "They're for us, babe!" We already have an unopened pack at home, and it's my time of the month. FML
Today, I told my ultra-Catholic mother that I was hanging out with a girl. While walking out of the flat, I didn't realize that I'd dropped one of my condoms out of my pocket. My mother saw it and ripped it apart, then yelled at me that, "Sex is for having children! You're giving yourselves to Satan!" I'm 20. FML
Today, I discovered the brand of condoms my parents use. It was in the same grocery bag as my food. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when his condom came off inside of me. We couldn't get it out, so I had to tell my mom, who didn't know we were sexually active, and then go to the ER. After an unsuccessful visit, we came home only to find the condom in my sheets. FML
Today, my father pulled me aside as I was heading off to my girlfriend's house. He said, "Next time you have sex, don't leave the tied up condom in its wrapper inside your shorts pocket, otherwise your mother might find it again as she's folding laundry." FML
Today, I was about to propose. I got on my knee in front of my girlfriend and opened the box. My friend thought it would be funny to replace the ring with a condom. FML
Today, while finally about to make love with my long-term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML
Today, I opened my boyfriend's bedside table drawer. There was a condom wrapper in there. We don't use condoms. He claims he didn’t have sex with anybody, he just wanted to put the condom over his hand. FML
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Top comments
Stupoopy 0
You should go to your mom in two weeks and be like "MOM I THINK THE CONDOMS I HAD DIDN'T WORK! NOW IM PREGNANT!" and then we'll see who's laughing.
curious_missy 1
bill her for the replacement condom! Also write Love, Your Safe Daughter
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Comments (267)
Gray_fml 0
#43 if you truly believed in something, would you not push it onto your children? Just saying.
punk_rock9300 0
way to go mama!
common12 0
true #1 thats what happened to someone i know because his parents took away his condoms
anthem_fml 0
i dont know what's worse, that your mother is so overbearing or that she'd rather you have unprotected sex. D:
loveless6288 0
i have to agree with #1 XD
Schlitz 0
Wow #31, I don't think you can get either of those 2 things with out having sex now can you...Don't be silly. # 181, I think her mom doesn't want her to have sex outside marriage at all, not unprotected sex. Your mother obviously is one of the remaining parents with a brain in society.
ronnidee 0
that's awesome!! my philosophy is... if you're too young or not financially stable enough to be living at home, you shouldn't be having sex. ahahah i would so do that if I were your mom too!
SamsSuperCool 0
time to buy new ones. sucks to be u. u should do the same to her condoms (if shes got any)
crzy4u36 0
Your mom did the right thing! I'm SO happy to see that there are still parents out there willing to do this. Go to your mom immediately, give her a hug, and tell her THANK YOU!
bubbletea123 0
that's weird and creepy