Today, I went on a run with my crush. She expressed how happy she was to have a decent running partner, because the last one kept complaining he thought he might throw up. We got to the top of the hill and I puked right in front of her. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I decided to get back into shape and go for a run. With a 1/4 mile left to run, I saw a hot chick a block ahead of me running. Trying to show off I ran hard and passed her stopping just outside my complex. I started to throw up right as she came past me because I had run so hard to pass her. FML
Today, a girl I met recently asked if I wanted to go jogging with her, and I excitedly agreed. A while into our run, I ran out of breath and doubled over panting, all while she kept jogging and slowly disappeared down the street. What a way to spend time together. FML
Today, I threw up on my crush's lawn. FML
Today, I went to an amusement park with a group of friends, one of whom was a girl I really like. When we got on the roller coaster, I was ecstatic that she wanted to sit next to me. Not even half-way through, I ended up puking all over the both of us. FML
Today, 4 miles into a mountain hike with my crush, I suddenly felt a stomach pain, followed by the urge for explosive diarrhea. I had to stand still with my butt clenched to prevent shitting myself. There were no nearby bathrooms, and I didn't have any toilet paper. It was messy. She'll never see me the same. FML
Today, while I was running around the block, I got the urge to spit. Suddenly I noticed this beautiful girl running in front me. Trying to impress her, I smiled and by mistake drooled everything on the pavement. She wasn't impressed. FML
Today, I joined my crush for their workout class. I didn’t realize it was an advanced class. Ten minutes in, I was gasping for air, bright red, and drenched in sweat. The instructor had to stop and ask if I needed a paramedic. My crush offered me a cup of water along with a look of deep concern. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML
Today, I went running. My girlfriend was so surprised at the fact that I'm exercising that she accused me of making it up so I could cheat on her. I'm just trying to get in shape. FML
Today, I was walking with my crush, and I told him how I felt. As soon as I turned to him, a bird shit on my face. FML
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Top comments
Racky_fml 14
Well at least you weren't complaining all the time.
cswens25 8
Better in front of her then on her
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Comments (73)
Autocorrected 11
Hey at least you weren't complaining
CharresBarkrey 16
Hey at least you weren't the fourth person to comment this. Wait...
SuperDanielNL 23
It's matter of training, just continue running, adjust your speed and you'll be fine. Running together seems like excent quality time, enjoy.
billyz77 24
Right after puking, you should have wiped your mouth off with the back of your hand, put on your best silly grin and said, "What's that you were saying?" Maybe she'd have realized that by not complaining and having a sense of humor, you were someone worth running with again.
katties 27
I think you did well - you actually pushed yourself while working out :] I hope she too understood that and that she'll continue taking you on her running trips. You'll get better at running over time. Good luck :)
Enslaved 38
Maybe if she didn't bring up the subject of throwing up, it wouldn't have been on your mind. Kinda like watching someone yarn and then getting the urge to also yarn.:P
zingline89 18
I prefer twine
Enslaved 38
****!!! I meant *yawn. :P
xRezSynn 15
At least you weren't complaining.
Epikouros 32
Um, I wonder how high 'the top of the hill' is if you live in Hawaii... Maybe your running partners get altitude sickness?
panda_lou 11
She didn't say you couldn't throw up. She just expressed how annoying it is when you complain about it. You're still good OP.
perdix 31
Jack and Jill Went up the hill To retch and fail and falter
TheNewGuy03 29
I'd say to just make sure to take a big shit *before* you run, because having a full colon can all but ensure that you will either shit your pants or earl all over the place. Also, drinking a metric fuckton of water beforehand helps, and so does eating lots of carbs. And don't eat less than an hour before you run. Hope that helps! (I wish I knew a woman that liked to run ... or do *any* physical activity, for that matter. Lucky you!)