Today, I went on a run with my crush. She expressed how happy she was to have a decent running partner, because the last one kept complaining he thought he might throw up. We got to the top of the hill and I puked right in front of her. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I decided to get back into shape and go for a run. With a 1/4 mile left to run, I saw a hot chick a block ahead of me running. Trying to show off I ran hard and passed her stopping just outside my complex. I started to throw up right as she came past me because I had run so hard to pass her. FML
Today, a girl I met recently asked if I wanted to go jogging with her, and I excitedly agreed. A while into our run, I ran out of breath and doubled over panting, all while she kept jogging and slowly disappeared down the street. What a way to spend time together. FML
Today, I threw up on my crush's lawn. FML
Today, I went to an amusement park with a group of friends, one of whom was a girl I really like. When we got on the roller coaster, I was ecstatic that she wanted to sit next to me. Not even half-way through, I ended up puking all over the both of us. FML
Today, 4 miles into a mountain hike with my crush, I suddenly felt a stomach pain, followed by the urge for explosive diarrhea. I had to stand still with my butt clenched to prevent shitting myself. There were no nearby bathrooms, and I didn't have any toilet paper. It was messy. She'll never see me the same. FML
Today, while I was running around the block, I got the urge to spit. Suddenly I noticed this beautiful girl running in front me. Trying to impress her, I smiled and by mistake drooled everything on the pavement. She wasn't impressed. FML
Today, I joined my crush for their workout class. I didn’t realize it was an advanced class. Ten minutes in, I was gasping for air, bright red, and drenched in sweat. The instructor had to stop and ask if I needed a paramedic. My crush offered me a cup of water along with a look of deep concern. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML
Today, I went running. My girlfriend was so surprised at the fact that I'm exercising that she accused me of making it up so I could cheat on her. I'm just trying to get in shape. FML
Today, I was walking with my crush, and I told him how I felt. As soon as I turned to him, a bird shit on my face. FML
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Top comments
Racky_fml 14
Well at least you weren't complaining all the time.
cswens25 8
Better in front of her then on her
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Comments (73)
SmittyJA24 26
Double fail: guys do not "crush". That's something high school girls do. Puking douche bag.
Atchoo 8
Who said OP was a guy?
docscientist 10
op said the girl is his crush, not that he was crushing on her.
TheNewGuy03 29
You just insulted the OP for no reason whatsoever, you knapsack of fluorescent lemon-scented dildoes.
kierabehr 8
Don't worry, I'm sure she felt bad for you :)
DanielleinDC 34
Well, at least you weren't *complaining* that you were going to puke.
sicmind 1
Try not to eat so much before you go running. Eat very light and drink water. You could also see if small dose of anti-nausea medicine before you run. Give it at least 20 minutes to digest. That way you have a chance of not puking in front of her. or... Step up your running without her so that you've got a better resistence when you go with her again. You could also compliment her on her resilience of running and that you hope to achieve that kind of resilience some day.
EsOSiQueEs 14
It doesn't always have to do with the food you've eaten before you run. If you're running really hard it means you body is taking away oxygen and blood from nonessential functions and your muscles are releasing lactic acid. The stomach is lacking oxygen and the lactic acid builds up, and when you stop or slow down, your stomach tries relaxing, becomes weakened, and you have no control over it. So, basically, you could have not much of anything but you could still throw up some of the lactic acids that have built up.
Deviant_fml 5
lol, I remember sprinting up hills over and over for hockey training. People would puke and keep on running and you had to just hope you weren't behind them.
whY402Jay 12
You didn't complain ab it, though.
theboy13 13
Don't eat before running and you won't puke...
Xotoolyxo 16
As long as you didn't puke on her she should be understanding, especially if you don't run much and you overdid it.
obeykaitlyn 25
Oops, jinxed it.
kyle_27 6
But you never complained! In her mind shes thinking "wow he never conplained and sucked it up" i meant you gave her a memorable experience