Today, I went on a date with the girl I like to a skating rink. On the ride home she put her arm around me. Her armpits stank and I smelt them the whole hour and a half drive. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I'd taken this girl I'd recently met through Facebook dating to my family cabin. Apparently, her hygiene wasn't that great, because she didn't shower all weekend. The entire 4-hour ride back to her house was miserable, as every time she opened up her legs it smelled like a dead rat. I'm still mortified. FML
Today, I was on a date with this girl. I attempted to put my arm around her, but I elbowed her in the face instead. FML
Today, I was going to hook up with a new girl. She told me not to shower or wear deodorant when I came over, which I thought was a little odd but went along with. As we were getting warmed up, she started licking my sweaty armpit and moaning loudly. This is probably too weird to tolerate. FML
Today, I took my date ice skating, even though I’m terrible at it. I always knew I had shit balance, but I practically spent the entire time clinging to the wall, while she glided gracefully around me like an Olympic skater. At one point, she laughed and said, "You’re graceful like a cat… slipping across a frozen patio!" FML
Today, I went on a date, and everything was going fine - until the ride home. On the way, I starting having progressively bad stomach pains. Once she left the car, I passed the worst gas that I had ever encountered. As I began to leave, she knocked on the window. She forgot her purse in the car. FML
Today, I went on a date with a girl. We drove separately and met at the restaurant. Over the course of two hours she drank a gallon and a half of beer, then her boyfriend picked her up because she was too drunk to drive home. FML
Today, I was on a date with this girl I actually like. The date was going really well and it seemed like it would be a good night. While in the movie theater, I went to hold her hand and instead she gave me a hand shake and said, "You're so funny, I'm so glad we're friends". FML
Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML
Today, I was on a date, and I went to put my arm around her, trying to be romantic, but my coordination went straight to hell. Instead of her shoulder, I ended up accidentally grabbing her tit. FML
Today, I was on a date with a girl I've had feelings for since I was 14 (I'm 22). I took her out to dinner, then to a movie that we both liked and had a few drinks afterwards. I thought it was going really well until I was driving her home and she asked to be dropped off at her boyfriend's house. FML
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Top comments
DrunkenValor 0
You should have nonchalantly sprayed your own armpits and then accidentally sprayed hers with the same deodarant.
f_u_u_f_f 0
Easy solution. Tell her, "I feel a bit sweaty and gross from the skating rink, ok if we cuddle next time instead?" Then you aren't making her feel bad, but you get the result you want. Of course since this FML already happened, my advice is kind of useless. :-P
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Comments (159)
sensativenose 0
Okay. Just because I don't like to leave things unsaid and so I can shut up all the whiners. Yes, I do like the girl. I just posted this on FML because maybe it wasn't my family dying in a fire but I think its safe to say there would be different levels of FML. Everyone saying your ungrateful- you just assume shit you don't know. Yeah, she is hot (not fat #14), so stfu- and the dude who called me a pissant if you can't get a girl maybe its because you wallow in your own self despair more then actually try or maybe your either just 1 make yourself look like a creep or 2 shooting out of your league. Some people are ugly but whatever, im sure theres someone out there for them they just need to suck up their own overstandards. Where ever you stand- I just thought it would be funny to other people that it sucked for me so I wanted to share. I won't say any information about what actually happened because if she reads this she will be mad so yeah. Thats that. (O and I would only be a dick if I gave out her name or something its just a story.) SO to everyone that says grow up- you grow up.
sensativenose 0
And I did put my arm around her..then she put her arm over my arm and around me..
MoMoJones 0
WOOT the OP actually came back and destroyed all the whiners way to go dude!!!! and it happens just be nice and smile....u like her cool beans i guess? ppl r just tards that like ragging on ppl that have something they cant...
ban4023 0
lol omg soooo funyy
readme 0
OPs got some balls. Nice one.
maebird 0
You guys are all rude. I've been dating my partner for almost 10 months and they has BO and I love it. I think that's what makes them special. They have impeccable hygiene and I'll never take any thing, no matter how small, for granted about them. People shouldn't be so shallow about people, sometimes people just can't help how their body works. Appreciate it.
prophisher8789 0
Maybe someone mentioned this, but you drove an hour and a half to go ice skating? Sounds like a colossal waste of time...
Zhombie 0
Woahh. Is your name Jarred? Or is it Will? Maybe Mitchell? My friend and I go to Sk8land South and she hangs out with her boyfriends there...They have there arms over eachother.....and she has BO almost always xDDDDD Bahahahaha.
edible1 0
YD for not saying anything.
teiso_fml 0
Get over it.