Today, I went on a date with the girl I like to a skating rink. On the ride home she put her arm around me. Her armpits stank and I smelt them the whole hour and a half drive. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I'd taken this girl I'd recently met through Facebook dating to my family cabin. Apparently, her hygiene wasn't that great, because she didn't shower all weekend. The entire 4-hour ride back to her house was miserable, as every time she opened up her legs it smelled like a dead rat. I'm still mortified. FML
Today, I was on a date with this girl. I attempted to put my arm around her, but I elbowed her in the face instead. FML
Today, I was going to hook up with a new girl. She told me not to shower or wear deodorant when I came over, which I thought was a little odd but went along with. As we were getting warmed up, she started licking my sweaty armpit and moaning loudly. This is probably too weird to tolerate. FML
Today, I took my date ice skating, even though I’m terrible at it. I always knew I had shit balance, but I practically spent the entire time clinging to the wall, while she glided gracefully around me like an Olympic skater. At one point, she laughed and said, "You’re graceful like a cat… slipping across a frozen patio!" FML
Today, I went on a date, and everything was going fine - until the ride home. On the way, I starting having progressively bad stomach pains. Once she left the car, I passed the worst gas that I had ever encountered. As I began to leave, she knocked on the window. She forgot her purse in the car. FML
Today, I went on a date with a girl. We drove separately and met at the restaurant. Over the course of two hours she drank a gallon and a half of beer, then her boyfriend picked her up because she was too drunk to drive home. FML
Today, I was on a date with this girl I actually like. The date was going really well and it seemed like it would be a good night. While in the movie theater, I went to hold her hand and instead she gave me a hand shake and said, "You're so funny, I'm so glad we're friends". FML
Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML
Today, I was on a date, and I went to put my arm around her, trying to be romantic, but my coordination went straight to hell. Instead of her shoulder, I ended up accidentally grabbing her tit. FML
Today, I was on a date with a girl I've had feelings for since I was 14 (I'm 22). I took her out to dinner, then to a movie that we both liked and had a few drinks afterwards. I thought it was going really well until I was driving her home and she asked to be dropped off at her boyfriend's house. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
DrunkenValor 0
You should have nonchalantly sprayed your own armpits and then accidentally sprayed hers with the same deodarant.
f_u_u_f_f 0
Easy solution. Tell her, "I feel a bit sweaty and gross from the skating rink, ok if we cuddle next time instead?" Then you aren't making her feel bad, but you get the result you want. Of course since this FML already happened, my advice is kind of useless. :-P
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (159)
teiso_fml 0
Fact: People sweat when they do something physical like skating. Fact: Sweat mixed with oxygen causes body odor. Fact: The girl probably wouldn't have put her arm around you if she didn't like you. And you already said you liked her. So either get over it and be glad that she showed you a gesture of affection or, if it was so bad, next time have the guts to find a tactful way to let her know. I know it's a sensative issue but when a girl you like does something to show that she might like you back, don't immediately go on the internet to complain about it. Unless you don't like her anymore because you discovered she's human because she sweats.
kukopia 0
This FML stinks. OP took a 'girl he likes' on a date that was 3 hours of driving?!? What kinda date is that? Odd to say the least. Who lives an hour and a half from a skating rink?? Who drives an hour and half to go SKATING?!?? Why couldn't he: . Open the windows? . Ask her to sit up? . Be honest with her about the smell? . Come up with a lie for her to move away from him? He had NINTEY minutes!! . Man up and ride it out? . Realize he stinks too? .
wilt 0
Wow you will be really lonely......
life_totallyfair 0
It's "smelled," not "smelt." Smelt is the process of smeltering.
lonouri 0
@life_totallyfair Actually, smelt is from the process of smelting not 'smeltering'.
melkawa11 0
Hahahaha you should of punched her in the face
myang12 0
Haha.. I feel sorry for you!!
RandomCommenter 0
Oh, boo-hoo.
Anteezy 7
Whiner! you said you liked her if she was sweaty it meant she was doing something at the skating rink, and by putting her arm around you she showed she likes you.
wishiwazritch 3
How is that FYL? If I was that girl I would be so mortified and embarrassed. News flash EVERY girl sweats and EVERY girl smells sometimes. Stop being a little bitch and worry about things are are important. It's a problem easily fixed with deodorant