Today, I went on a date with the girl I like to a skating rink. On the ride home she put her arm around me. Her armpits stank and I smelt them the whole hour and a half drive. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I'd taken this girl I'd recently met through Facebook dating to my family cabin. Apparently, her hygiene wasn't that great, because she didn't shower all weekend. The entire 4-hour ride back to her house was miserable, as every time she opened up her legs it smelled like a dead rat. I'm still mortified. FML
Today, I was on a date with this girl. I attempted to put my arm around her, but I elbowed her in the face instead. FML
Today, I was going to hook up with a new girl. She told me not to shower or wear deodorant when I came over, which I thought was a little odd but went along with. As we were getting warmed up, she started licking my sweaty armpit and moaning loudly. This is probably too weird to tolerate. FML
Today, I took my date ice skating, even though I’m terrible at it. I always knew I had shit balance, but I practically spent the entire time clinging to the wall, while she glided gracefully around me like an Olympic skater. At one point, she laughed and said, "You’re graceful like a cat… slipping across a frozen patio!" FML
Today, I went on a date, and everything was going fine - until the ride home. On the way, I starting having progressively bad stomach pains. Once she left the car, I passed the worst gas that I had ever encountered. As I began to leave, she knocked on the window. She forgot her purse in the car. FML
Today, I went on a date with a girl. We drove separately and met at the restaurant. Over the course of two hours she drank a gallon and a half of beer, then her boyfriend picked her up because she was too drunk to drive home. FML
Today, I was on a date with this girl I actually like. The date was going really well and it seemed like it would be a good night. While in the movie theater, I went to hold her hand and instead she gave me a hand shake and said, "You're so funny, I'm so glad we're friends". FML
Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML
Today, I was on a date, and I went to put my arm around her, trying to be romantic, but my coordination went straight to hell. Instead of her shoulder, I ended up accidentally grabbing her tit. FML
Today, I was on a date with a girl I've had feelings for since I was 14 (I'm 22). I took her out to dinner, then to a movie that we both liked and had a few drinks afterwards. I thought it was going really well until I was driving her home and she asked to be dropped off at her boyfriend's house. FML
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Top comments
DrunkenValor 0
You should have nonchalantly sprayed your own armpits and then accidentally sprayed hers with the same deodarant.
f_u_u_f_f 0
Easy solution. Tell her, "I feel a bit sweaty and gross from the skating rink, ok if we cuddle next time instead?" Then you aren't making her feel bad, but you get the result you want. Of course since this FML already happened, my advice is kind of useless. :-P
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Comments (159)
fmh123 0
lol this is pretty funny and weird, if she is really hot then you can probably get over it
MommyNeedsMoreCo 0
Wow, are you stunningly shallow.
abcdefgh_fml 0
ewwwwww wow
ithedarkone 0
OH that sucks... There is nothing worse then personal hygiene malfunctions. Honestly maybe its because you went ice skating and it was cold so the layering of the clothes and the movement of skating made her body sweat causing the stink armpits. Lol but if it was me every time i see her i would probably think stink armpits. lmao but this is what i think don't break it off just yet. Go on a second date with her lol. Then i want you to some how get in a position where you can smell her armpits lmao like give her a hug or something and when she lifts her arms take a WIFF. If her armpits still stinks. Then you have to call her out on it let her know the worst thing you can do is not say anything and let her go through life with stink sweaty armpits. And you might want to tell a friend about her armpit stinking before you let her know therefore if she is a bitch and make up a lie why you wont date her you have a friend that can tell you side of the story about the sweaty stink armpit bitch.
heyyimkell 2
That's gross, but not really an FML. If you feel comfortable telling her stuff, maybe just tell her that you're not trying to be mean, but that she should use deoderant after she exercises. She'll probably feel bad and she won't want it to happen again, if she likes you.
mollytamale 1
Today, I went to the skating rink with the guy I really like. We had a great time buy when I got home I noticed my armpits stunk. I had my arm around him for the whole hour and a half car ride. FML
FarSide 23
Don't worry honey. If he happened to smell you, I am SURE that as a gentleman, he would NEVER say anything to you or anyone else. So, don't worry, and next time, just try and remember to use the deodorant.
Mr_Eated 0
I'm still trying to figure out how he extracted metal from her without killing her....did they get a ride home on a portable blacksmith wagon or something?
1800steven 0
I'm still trying to figure out why the girl had her arm around the guy? Especiailly to a point where his face was close to her armpit.....shouldn't it be the other way around?
intl_spy 2
Maybe she's a giant and he's very short?
j424 0
what do you expect from dirty Jersey?
Copilot 0
Whats with people not wearing deodorant in the modern world.
FarSide 23
New Jersey is not in the modern world.