Today, I went on a date with the girl I like to a skating rink. On the ride home she put her arm around me. Her armpits stank and I smelt them the whole hour and a half drive. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I'd taken this girl I'd recently met through Facebook dating to my family cabin. Apparently, her hygiene wasn't that great, because she didn't shower all weekend. The entire 4-hour ride back to her house was miserable, as every time she opened up her legs it smelled like a dead rat. I'm still mortified. FML
Today, I was on a date with this girl. I attempted to put my arm around her, but I elbowed her in the face instead. FML
Today, I was going to hook up with a new girl. She told me not to shower or wear deodorant when I came over, which I thought was a little odd but went along with. As we were getting warmed up, she started licking my sweaty armpit and moaning loudly. This is probably too weird to tolerate. FML
Today, I took my date ice skating, even though I’m terrible at it. I always knew I had shit balance, but I practically spent the entire time clinging to the wall, while she glided gracefully around me like an Olympic skater. At one point, she laughed and said, "You’re graceful like a cat… slipping across a frozen patio!" FML
Today, I went on a date, and everything was going fine - until the ride home. On the way, I starting having progressively bad stomach pains. Once she left the car, I passed the worst gas that I had ever encountered. As I began to leave, she knocked on the window. She forgot her purse in the car. FML
Today, I went on a date with a girl. We drove separately and met at the restaurant. Over the course of two hours she drank a gallon and a half of beer, then her boyfriend picked her up because she was too drunk to drive home. FML
Today, I was on a date with this girl I actually like. The date was going really well and it seemed like it would be a good night. While in the movie theater, I went to hold her hand and instead she gave me a hand shake and said, "You're so funny, I'm so glad we're friends". FML
Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML
Today, I was on a date, and I went to put my arm around her, trying to be romantic, but my coordination went straight to hell. Instead of her shoulder, I ended up accidentally grabbing her tit. FML
Today, I was on a date with a girl I've had feelings for since I was 14 (I'm 22). I took her out to dinner, then to a movie that we both liked and had a few drinks afterwards. I thought it was going really well until I was driving her home and she asked to be dropped off at her boyfriend's house. FML
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Top comments
DrunkenValor 0
You should have nonchalantly sprayed your own armpits and then accidentally sprayed hers with the same deodarant.
f_u_u_f_f 0
Easy solution. Tell her, "I feel a bit sweaty and gross from the skating rink, ok if we cuddle next time instead?" Then you aren't making her feel bad, but you get the result you want. Of course since this FML already happened, my advice is kind of useless. :-P
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Comments (159)
jgupta86 0
Honestly grow the **** up you little pissant. Do you notice how many FMLs go something like "I asked the person I really like out, and they just laughed at me and told me I had a wicked sense of humour?" And yet here you are, the girl you like goes out with you. To a skating ring (a physical activity) and you complain because she, like ANYONE EXCEPT A ROBOT, sweats? Grow up.
shicagah 2
This is why some guys never get laid. They can't handle their shit well enough to have mindblowing sex. Oh, and they're too concerned that the female they're banging drop a few beads of sweat and you know, have normal bodily functions. What a sad little story.
FarSide 23
It was not HIS shit he could not handle, it was HERS. Stop trying to make HIM the villain... Me thinketh you protesteth too much....
xFaust_fml 12
Aw it's easy to guess that the OP doesn't have to take the subway every day =) BUT I have to agree : I can't stand it either. I sometimes wonder wether some people have ever heard of the word DEODORANT...
phukNandrew 0
why not roll down the window or put your arm around her? doing so would not let you have to endure her stank. seams like common sense since you said you endured 90 minutes of it....
x_DiKoPr_x 0
wow... someone had forgotten to but on deotorant... thats messed up!
pankaiks 0
Personality doesn't affect hygiene....
null_fml 11
Why's everyone attacking the OP? Nothing in his post implies that he thought less of her for sweating / faulted her for having natural body functions, or that he's in any way ungrateful or unhappy about having had the opportunity to date her. Conversely, the fact that he endured it without saying anything already implies that he still wants to date her; otherwise he would have just told her to take her arm off him because it wouldn't matter. The only thing he directly had a problem with was the smell itself, and you really can't fault him for not enjoying that.
JonKolbe 0
Yep, appreciate that she liked you and cared enough to put her arm around you.
vev_fml 0
omg, you went out with a girl who is human. *dies*
Ladypartslegit 0
its called deoderant, she should wear some. being turned off by somone who is smelly is also human. its not being shallow in the least bit, look deep inside yourself and ask, would i date somone who stunk like poo? i think we all know the answer to that one