Today, I went on a blind date. People always joke about how horrible Axe is, but this guy sprayed it on so thick that I genuinely had to fight to not retch the entire time. It was so bad that at one point I thought I was going to pass out. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went on a blind date. My date turned out to be very hot, and I had high hopes. That is, until she ran her hand through her hair as she approached, sending some kind of horrifying, miasmic mist of dandruff and dead skin floating through the air behind her. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy from Bumble. It was going well, with dinner and a walk on the waterfront, until he started complaining about skincare products, "People with eczema use that nasty cream, it's so sticky and smells horrible." I have severe eczema. FML
Today, my boyfriend's mom got him a shitload of Axe for his birthday. Now I get nauseous whenever I go near him. FML
Today, I had a blind date that my friend set me up for. My date was the ugliest, most disgusting person you will ever meet, but I thought that I would give him a chance. He saw me, eyed me up and down, then said to my friend, "You're kidding, right?" FML
Today, I went on a blind date. Everything was going great until I laughed so hard at one of his jokes that I snorted, choked on my drink, and accidentally slapped his face while trying to cover my mouth. We didn't order dessert. FML
Today, I wore a new perfume to a first date in park. Halfway through, he kept sniffing the air and asked, “Do you smell onions?” Turns out the perfume reacted badly with my skin chemistry, making me smell like a taco stand. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy I met online. He took me to a restaurant where I was allergic to practically everything on the menu. I sneezed five or six times within the first 15 minutes and spent the rest of the lunch awkwardly trying to explain I wasn't allergic to him, just the food and spices floating around us. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. We were walking in a park when I noticed a funny smell. I looked down and realized I'd stepped in dog crap. I tried to nonchalantly rub it off on the grass, but instead hit a patch of wet grass and slipped onto my butt, right into a pile of goose poop. FML
Today, I went on a blind date, even though the whole concept freaks me out a bit. My date showed up with his sister, who sat at our table and critiqued everything we did, from how I chewed my food, to the way we nervously laughed. He hardly said a word the whole time. FML
Today, I was on a date with a great guy, and we were really hitting it off. While we were walking in the park, a woman who smelled like the devil's toenails and looked as if she hadn't bathed in a year passed us. I whispered to my date, "Look at that disgusting woman." It was his mother. FML
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Top comments
reklawelyk 15
Welcome to a guys locker room
karcummings 19
you could say he was an.. axe murderer. haha..
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Comments (44)
daemonsparta 16
i use stuff from bath and body works..and old spice. little goes a.long way guys, too much of any scent is off putting
sailorsaturn10 5
Some people feel that spraying so much of it doesn't mean they have to shower. The mix of b.o. and axe is the worst; sadly I work with some people that feel that way.
NonoMeow 18
It took me a few seconds to realize you were referring to the deodorant... I was really confused as to what and why was a man named Axe spraying thick.
Vlen_fml 20
the only time i've ever used axe was when my deoderant wore off while at a particular friends house. i figured if he likes the smell of that crap it was good enough to cover my pit smell. I did also try their cactus scrub once when i got a free sample, it was alright i guess, not as strong smelling as most of their stuff. my deodorant of choice has always been Old Spice original, although i'll use Right Guard with 16 hour odor shield if my current job causes me to sweat too much.
IronMan_Mk43 20
In Ireland, Axe is called Lynx and I have do admit I'm wearing some now (not a lot though). The one I have (called Lynx Black) is the most bearable one in strong quantities tbh.
prostar9993 15
Say it don't spray it?
TomeDr 25
When my ex went through hid mid-life crisis, he started wearing Axe. On someone in their late 40s, it's just sad.
RealSuperSand 21
A little goes along way because of its strength, and used sparingly is actually pretty good smelling, the problem with it is that people think it's a shower in a can which it most certainly isn't.
alisha0215 12
i know that sucks. you feel like you are running out of oxygen and slowly sufficating. i have to deal with it everyday with my husband. he bathes in it lol. i tell him to stay away for a while until it's not as strong.
hoosiergirl94 31
What an axe hole