Today, I went on a blind date. People always joke about how horrible Axe is, but this guy sprayed it on so thick that I genuinely had to fight to not retch the entire time. It was so bad that at one point I thought I was going to pass out. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went on a blind date. My date turned out to be very hot, and I had high hopes. That is, until she ran her hand through her hair as she approached, sending some kind of horrifying, miasmic mist of dandruff and dead skin floating through the air behind her. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy from Bumble. It was going well, with dinner and a walk on the waterfront, until he started complaining about skincare products, "People with eczema use that nasty cream, it's so sticky and smells horrible." I have severe eczema. FML
Today, my boyfriend's mom got him a shitload of Axe for his birthday. Now I get nauseous whenever I go near him. FML
Today, I had a blind date that my friend set me up for. My date was the ugliest, most disgusting person you will ever meet, but I thought that I would give him a chance. He saw me, eyed me up and down, then said to my friend, "You're kidding, right?" FML
Today, I went on a blind date. Everything was going great until I laughed so hard at one of his jokes that I snorted, choked on my drink, and accidentally slapped his face while trying to cover my mouth. We didn't order dessert. FML
Today, I wore a new perfume to a first date in park. Halfway through, he kept sniffing the air and asked, “Do you smell onions?” Turns out the perfume reacted badly with my skin chemistry, making me smell like a taco stand. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy I met online. He took me to a restaurant where I was allergic to practically everything on the menu. I sneezed five or six times within the first 15 minutes and spent the rest of the lunch awkwardly trying to explain I wasn't allergic to him, just the food and spices floating around us. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. We were walking in a park when I noticed a funny smell. I looked down and realized I'd stepped in dog crap. I tried to nonchalantly rub it off on the grass, but instead hit a patch of wet grass and slipped onto my butt, right into a pile of goose poop. FML
Today, I went on a blind date, even though the whole concept freaks me out a bit. My date showed up with his sister, who sat at our table and critiqued everything we did, from how I chewed my food, to the way we nervously laughed. He hardly said a word the whole time. FML
Today, I was on a date with a great guy, and we were really hitting it off. While we were walking in the park, a woman who smelled like the devil's toenails and looked as if she hadn't bathed in a year passed us. I whispered to my date, "Look at that disgusting woman." It was his mother. FML
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Top comments
reklawelyk 15
Welcome to a guys locker room
karcummings 19
you could say he was an.. axe murderer. haha..
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Comments (44)
lexitomlinson_91 8
Why do guys even think that stuff is attractive? It's sickening. If you're gonna use it, one spray is more than enough.
SPN_lover666 27
The axe commercials always depict women falling for men who use a lot of it on themselves. I wish men realized using a lot of it will do the exact opposite and makes women stay far away from them until they wash that disgusting smell off of them.
zeemonster424 15
Some men use it as a replacement for bathing though... That's where most of the problems start.
mercyelvira42 23
I'm a fellow Jerseyan (south Jersey). Guys like that who follow the whole north Jersey "Soprano's" hype drive me insane. Too much axe, weak attitude. He wasn't wearing a gold chain, was he?
skepijohnson 11
Welcome to middle school guys post PE
NonoMeow 18
So accurate.
zeemonster424 15
People like that are so crazy inconsiderate too. Musky smells are a migraine trigger for me and I've left places before because of it. Of course that's what the majority of the Axe sprays smell like, and can put me out of commission for days if I'm forced to be around it.
Calfml2 8
he is a real "Axehole" no amount will fill it
phreaker913 21
if you were having such a terrible time, why not make up an excuse to cut the date short. Maybe give him a second chance by asking to reschedule?
saudmx3 10
Axe is supposed to attract petty women if you don't like it your probably ugly
Gennocent 17
I agree that the only women attracted to a man doused in Axe are the petty ones. The type of women who think some spray tanned, Jersey Shore douchebag with a name like "The Situation" is their Prince Charming. I also feel that it's extra important not to typo when you're trying to insult someone on the blogosphere.
kaylabunny1999 22
I hate when guy think that axe = shower
ariasmake1 9
Axe body spray the new chloroform.