Today, I went on a blind date. People always joke about how horrible Axe is, but this guy sprayed it on so thick that I genuinely had to fight to not retch the entire time. It was so bad that at one point I thought I was going to pass out. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went on a blind date. My date turned out to be very hot, and I had high hopes. That is, until she ran her hand through her hair as she approached, sending some kind of horrifying, miasmic mist of dandruff and dead skin floating through the air behind her. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy from Bumble. It was going well, with dinner and a walk on the waterfront, until he started complaining about skincare products, "People with eczema use that nasty cream, it's so sticky and smells horrible." I have severe eczema. FML
Today, my boyfriend's mom got him a shitload of Axe for his birthday. Now I get nauseous whenever I go near him. FML
Today, I had a blind date that my friend set me up for. My date was the ugliest, most disgusting person you will ever meet, but I thought that I would give him a chance. He saw me, eyed me up and down, then said to my friend, "You're kidding, right?" FML
Today, I went on a blind date. Everything was going great until I laughed so hard at one of his jokes that I snorted, choked on my drink, and accidentally slapped his face while trying to cover my mouth. We didn't order dessert. FML
Today, I wore a new perfume to a first date in park. Halfway through, he kept sniffing the air and asked, “Do you smell onions?” Turns out the perfume reacted badly with my skin chemistry, making me smell like a taco stand. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy I met online. He took me to a restaurant where I was allergic to practically everything on the menu. I sneezed five or six times within the first 15 minutes and spent the rest of the lunch awkwardly trying to explain I wasn't allergic to him, just the food and spices floating around us. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. We were walking in a park when I noticed a funny smell. I looked down and realized I'd stepped in dog crap. I tried to nonchalantly rub it off on the grass, but instead hit a patch of wet grass and slipped onto my butt, right into a pile of goose poop. FML
Today, I went on a blind date, even though the whole concept freaks me out a bit. My date showed up with his sister, who sat at our table and critiqued everything we did, from how I chewed my food, to the way we nervously laughed. He hardly said a word the whole time. FML
Today, I was on a date with a great guy, and we were really hitting it off. While we were walking in the park, a woman who smelled like the devil's toenails and looked as if she hadn't bathed in a year passed us. I whispered to my date, "Look at that disgusting woman." It was his mother. FML
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Top comments
reklawelyk 15
Welcome to a guys locker room
karcummings 19
you could say he was an.. axe murderer. haha..
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Comments (44)
UncleCaitlyn 21
Was it like middle school hallways
Fall_Out_Boy_22 6
More like the locker room!
olpally 33
Glad I never used that shit... Sorry op, ugh.
PsychicBulwark 4
Is this user name a joke? I'm not sure what kind of guys you expect to respond to it lol
Kazze 31
I'd respond to it.... With fear.
R2Y2 22
No dude, it's completely serious /sarcasm
Flubberwuffer 9
He might have had to axe you a question, but he sprayed it for later
worldclassrager 41
Axe isn't a shower in a can...I don't think he bathed that day
ironik69 31
But oh goodness, some think it is. My little brother, and by little, I mean he is twenty... He uses the Axe body wash, Deoderant, AND spray. I cant even walk into the part of the house that his room is in. Thank goodness I don't have to live there.
ohSNAPyall 27
A blind date with a nose-blind date.
MrSmush 19
At least he tried to smell good for you.
Hildy93 21
Old Spice> Axe
Vlen_fml 20
SMELLS LIKE POWERRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!
fangirlofthings 21
I personally can't stand the smell of Old Spice. It was all my grandpa wore.
Vlen_fml 20
to quote Oldspice; "If your Grandpa hadn't worn Oldspice, you probably wouldn't exist."
R2Y2 22
Axe is chemical warfare, geneva conventions says no!
hypoxicischemia 11
All high school hallways & locker rooms smell like that, I was one of the contributing causes :(
saffy66 34
Over here in Australia it's called Lynx... My partner in the U.S. uses Axe (very sparingly) so I have the exact same one in Lynx to smell from time to time. I imagine the OP's date fell for the marketing hype, but guys - powerful smelling aftershave and deodorant is really off putting, just saying...