Today, I went into the men's restroom and started peeing in a urinal next to a middle-age man. As he zipped up and walked away, he said to me, "Don't worry, it'll grow." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at the urinal a guy came up next to me to do his business. He stared over at me, looked down, laughed and then left. FML
Today, while using a urinal in a very busy mall bathroom, another man unzipped his pants and attempted to use the same one as me. FML
Today, I was peeing in a public bathroom when a guy walked in and passed by 4 open urinals to use the one next to mine. After feeling his gaze for a second, I confronted him with my own, in hopes he would stop. Instead, I stared into a stranger's eyes until I finished peeing. FML
Today, as a joke, my friends pushed me into the men's restroom and held the door shut. As I was trying to push the door open, I heard a voice behind me say, "Wow. Immaturity, huh?" I turned to find a guy taking a dump in one of the urinals. FML
Today, I was in the bathroom, when someone came up behind me. Instead of waiting for a urinal to free up, he wedged his way in between me and another guy, and promptly began peeing in my urinal, crossing streams in the process. FML
Today, a guy started taking a leak beside me at the urinal. Evidently he figured he wasn't being enough of a cockbite, because he looked at my junk, laughed, "HAH!" then broke down into hysterics and totally lost control of his stream. I smell like piss. FML
Today, I was at one of the urinals in a bathroom. A chubby kid goes to the urinal next to mine and starts peeing violently. Apparently, he was peeing so violently that it splashed onto my legs the whole time. I picked the wrong day to wear shorts. FML
Today, as I got out of the shower, my young stepson saw me naked. Later, he asked his mom why my "pee pee" is so small when everyone says it is supposed to get bigger when you become an adult. FML
Today, I walked into the restroom at work to see my boss standing at the urinal, pissing like a toddler. He had his pants around his ankles, ass fully exposed. Now I'm never going to be able to take anything he says seriously. FML
Today, I was peeing in a urinal at a bar. A drunk guy comes in, and seeing no urinals open, he decides to pee between my legs from behind me. He didn't have good aim. FML
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Top comments
maryiah 21
At least he gave you hope.
iazy9 14
Anything is better than my 3 inch slanger.
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Comments (86)
flockz 20
when in the men's restroom, it is better not to have a boner.
evilraider 5
First rule of conduct in men's bathroom: stand straight and look straight ahead
TheBrochure 22
First Rule, Subsection 1: There must always be at least one urinal space between restroom patrons. If no urinal, given this condition, is available, one must either use the stall or wait for an available urinal.
Joshwarrior 39
subsection 2: Except after a movie gets out.
Joe9024 20
Article 3: Or your drunk at a bar
flockz 20
subdivision 4: or if you really need to take a piss.
Catkam623 27
Sub division 5 if it is a two bathroom urinal it is also socially acceptable for both of you to face the corner when peeing.
LiterOfCola 16
Maybe it's just me, but I think is pretty shameful to go pee in the stall when there's an open urinal. It makes you look like a pussy
dinosxxrawr 22
I thought it was an unspoken rule not to look?
expertsmilee 26
If everyone followed the rules, there would be no reason to have rules.
cmac86 24
and talk in the bathroom. it can happen, but most of the time it doesn't.
CrissyyyS2 22
He's talking about your "bush". It's not a forest yet.
Joshwarrior 39
All you need is 2 inches to get the job done :P
DDCA 24
Which would give any woman two reasons to find something bigger, I mean better along the way.
MeowZebraMeow 7
23 - Speaking from experience, eh?
TheDrifter 24
2 inches might do it for you, but if you had 2 more you would find brand new pussy without having to find a new woman.
Joshwarrior 39
53 i knew that comment would come eventually, but no its not from experience haha just a biological fact (:
tj4234 36
I thought it was an unspoken rule not to use the urinal next to someone else?
Ki11erC 18
Correct.
RedPillSucks 33
Nah. You gotta stroll up there like you own the place. If there are no other empty urinals, I'm gonna use it, not go to a stall.
michaelm1290 23
Sprinkle some Miracle Grow down there before you sleep at night...
Arkana_fml 14
Wow what a perv, you should of punched him in the face.
mahoney94 6
*should have
Rosicles 8
Woah woah woah!
pastispast 7
at least he didn't hold you hostage
LennyComa 39
Should of recited Snappy retort #17. "Don't worry someday you'll stop being a complete bellend"