Today, I was working as a lifeguard. A woman began to have a seizure. Nervous, I went into shock and walked into a tree, knocking myself out. Post seizure, the woman stood up and walked away. Later, I woke up in the hospital. The ambulance had arrived to take her, but ended up taking me instead. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at work lifeguarding and saw a kid drowning on the far end of the pool. I decided running would be the quickest way to get to her, but as I ran across the pool deck I slipped and hit my head. The kid's mother jumped in to save her child and then called an ambulance for me. FML
Today, I was at work as a lifeguard. The temperature was absolutely stifling, but I tried to tough it out. A couple of hours into my shift, I passed out, fell off my stand, and crashed into the water. Or so the medics tell me. FML
Today, I was lifeguarding at a community pool when I noticed a toddler go underwater. I quickly jumped in but suddenly got a cramp, which caused me to stall. When I looked up, I saw an old woman saving him, and got a shoe thrown at my head. I was fired. FML
Today, my rescue squad unit responded to a 911 call from a woman who felt she was going to pass out. We knocked on her locked door a couple times with no answer. Fearing she might be unconscious, I kicked in the door. She was about to open it and only passed out from the concussion I gave her. FML
Today, in frustration, I threw a spanner across the room at work, but it bounced back and hit me in the head. I woke up in an ambulance with a cracked skull and a gorgeous EMT lady. I would've tried to ask her out, but while I was out cold I'd pissed myself, and the whole ambulance reeked of it. FML
Today, at the gym, I see a person laying unconscious on the ground with people crowded around. Previously being a lifeguard, and knowing CPR, I ran over and asked a man what happened, preparing to check his vitals. I then realized that the body was a dummy and the employees were doing a drill. FML
Today, I was at my lifeguarding exam. Everything was going well until I went to 'save' someone and slipped and bellyflopped into the pool. I broke my toe, and the person I was supposed to save ended up saving me instead. FML
Today, I had a seizure for the first time in months. My fiancé went over to my job to let them know I wouldn't be going in. My boss bitched both of us because I didn't call myself. Sure, I'll get right on that when I'm conscious. FML
Today, at work, where I am the boss’s son, I introduced myself to the new guy and starting working on a project. Not five minutes into it, I apparently had a seizure, passed out, smashed my face on the work table, and regained consciousness in a state of confusion with EMTs surrounding me. FML
Today, we were hanging around the pool with a couple of friends and a crush of mine. Thinking I would be able to impress her with a well-performed dive off the diving board, I went up and attempted my best dive. I slipped as I jumped, hitting my head on the board. I had to be saved by the lifeguard. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Jessick_1 0
"Today, I had a seizure. I thought the lifeguard would save me but turns out they managed to knock themself out because they panicked. The ambulance took them to hospital, forgetting about me. FML" Poor woman.
SomeDude148 0
Maybe you should get a new job.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (137)
FullFrontalFail 0
I have lifeguard training, as I work with kids at a pool. It's normal to be nervous when something happens, but to "walk" into a tree and knock yourself out? First of all, you must be missing the front part of your skull in order to be knocked out from "walking" into a tree. More like you freaked out and ran, breaking another rule of a pool area that you probably had to yell at kids about thirty times a day. Any real lifeguard training would have taught you how to confidently handle the situation, and most importantly (as you can't really stop a seizure, just minimize the damage to the person) control the crowd's reaction. So either you were trained really badly, or you're a sucky lifeguard. Oh, and another point, you didn't "go into shock". That's a physiological reaction to extreme stress, say, being a victim in a horrific car accident. Not seeing someone else have a seizure. So double fail.
fail_truck 0
Like the rest of the people who have commented: OP, GET THE F*** OUT OF THE LIFEGUARD BUSINESS! Going into shock and running around like a chicken with your retarded head cut off INTO A TREE???!! For the sake of other people, quit your job.
fmlsmymiddlename 0
I feel bad for you, but it doesn't sound like you have the makings of a good lifeguard.
puppyeyes56 0
I feel bad for you, like that really sucks, but why are you a lifeguard if you go into shock when someone else is like dieing? A new job maybe ?
SPQR_fml 0
Hey I feel bad for you, but a new job is in order. Don't feel bad, it's just not your thing.
blowupragdoll 0
how the hell did you knock yourself out by just walking into a tree?
Amkii 0
How did you get knocked out just by 'walking' into a tree? You must have been running full speed, trying to head-butt the tree!
scrinmaster 0
You really shouldn't be a lifeguard.
aridawn 0
Erm...I'm afraid of what might happen if someone was drowning...
Ridley_fml 0
wow good to know some lifeguards out there are totally incompetent for guarding lives. Went into shock and walked into a tree? Are you sure that you aren't retarded?