Today, I was working as a lifeguard. A woman began to have a seizure. Nervous, I went into shock and walked into a tree, knocking myself out. Post seizure, the woman stood up and walked away. Later, I woke up in the hospital. The ambulance had arrived to take her, but ended up taking me instead. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at work lifeguarding and saw a kid drowning on the far end of the pool. I decided running would be the quickest way to get to her, but as I ran across the pool deck I slipped and hit my head. The kid's mother jumped in to save her child and then called an ambulance for me. FML
Today, I was at work as a lifeguard. The temperature was absolutely stifling, but I tried to tough it out. A couple of hours into my shift, I passed out, fell off my stand, and crashed into the water. Or so the medics tell me. FML
Today, I was lifeguarding at a community pool when I noticed a toddler go underwater. I quickly jumped in but suddenly got a cramp, which caused me to stall. When I looked up, I saw an old woman saving him, and got a shoe thrown at my head. I was fired. FML
Today, my rescue squad unit responded to a 911 call from a woman who felt she was going to pass out. We knocked on her locked door a couple times with no answer. Fearing she might be unconscious, I kicked in the door. She was about to open it and only passed out from the concussion I gave her. FML
Today, in frustration, I threw a spanner across the room at work, but it bounced back and hit me in the head. I woke up in an ambulance with a cracked skull and a gorgeous EMT lady. I would've tried to ask her out, but while I was out cold I'd pissed myself, and the whole ambulance reeked of it. FML
Today, at the gym, I see a person laying unconscious on the ground with people crowded around. Previously being a lifeguard, and knowing CPR, I ran over and asked a man what happened, preparing to check his vitals. I then realized that the body was a dummy and the employees were doing a drill. FML
Today, I was at my lifeguarding exam. Everything was going well until I went to 'save' someone and slipped and bellyflopped into the pool. I broke my toe, and the person I was supposed to save ended up saving me instead. FML
Today, I had a seizure for the first time in months. My fiancé went over to my job to let them know I wouldn't be going in. My boss bitched both of us because I didn't call myself. Sure, I'll get right on that when I'm conscious. FML
Today, at work, where I am the boss’s son, I introduced myself to the new guy and starting working on a project. Not five minutes into it, I apparently had a seizure, passed out, smashed my face on the work table, and regained consciousness in a state of confusion with EMTs surrounding me. FML
Today, we were hanging around the pool with a couple of friends and a crush of mine. Thinking I would be able to impress her with a well-performed dive off the diving board, I went up and attempted my best dive. I slipped as I jumped, hitting my head on the board. I had to be saved by the lifeguard. FML
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Top comments
Jessick_1 0
"Today, I had a seizure. I thought the lifeguard would save me but turns out they managed to knock themself out because they panicked. The ambulance took them to hospital, forgetting about me. FML" Poor woman.
SomeDude148 0
Maybe you should get a new job.
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Comments (137)
Finnboghi 0
#48 is completely right. Find a job where you don't put people's lives in danger when you go into shock.
funkycloud7137 0
I hate crappy lifeguards like you. Unfortunately 90% of the lifeguards I worked with are crappy. Never trust lifeguards to keep your kids safe.
lenajoy927 0
It's sorta scary that when other people are in trouble you walk into things and knock yourself out. Maybe consider a different job option.
drackattack 0
if you can't save a life you shouldn't be a lifeguard.
RhynoD 0
#20: Community pool? Plenty of outdoor pools I've been to had trees around them. They all also had a fence between them, but whatever. #28: Taking first aid and being First Aid/Lifeguard and CPR certified are two different things, and there are different levels of certification (ie: lifeguard v nurse - nurses learn how to use a pen to create an opening to allow them to breath [tracheosomethingorother], lifeguards don't). It also depends on who you took it with. Red Cross and Ellis Aquatics both review seizures for certification to be a lifeguard, though, and I can't imagine any other company that wouldn't. 90% of the training, though, isn't about specific techniques, it's about giving lifeguards the confidence to react to a situation. Seizure's aren't hard to deal with. Stress is, and that's what the training is for. If you can't handle the stress, you're not well trained and you should stop lifeguarding. OP: Just stop lifeguarding. Seriously. If I were the head lifeguard or aquatics director or whoever is your boss, you'd be fired before you left the hospital.
bonobo_fml 0
I agree. please don't be a life guard anymore. It's not safe for you or the people you're meant to help.
bravesman1983 0
What kind of lifeguard panics in that situation? It totally defeats the purpose of being a lifeguard.
nacremer 0
I was a lifeguard last summer and had to save a woman having a seizure in the water. I was scared, but I didn't walk into a tree, I did my job and saved her. If you can't handle the pressure and act despite your fear, then you shouldn't be a lifeguard. Start looking for a new job before somebody dies because you go into shock.
redheadff 0
I agree with #20. You don't just go into shock watching someone seize, and knock yourself out from walking into a tree, were you running?? I hope this isn't real or you need help buddy. Haha
effmyyliifee 0
You sound incompetent. Go work at mcdonalds or something.