Today, I was working as a lifeguard. A woman began to have a seizure. Nervous, I went into shock and walked into a tree, knocking myself out. Post seizure, the woman stood up and walked away. Later, I woke up in the hospital. The ambulance had arrived to take her, but ended up taking me instead. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at work lifeguarding and saw a kid drowning on the far end of the pool. I decided running would be the quickest way to get to her, but as I ran across the pool deck I slipped and hit my head. The kid's mother jumped in to save her child and then called an ambulance for me. FML
Today, I was at work as a lifeguard. The temperature was absolutely stifling, but I tried to tough it out. A couple of hours into my shift, I passed out, fell off my stand, and crashed into the water. Or so the medics tell me. FML
Today, I was lifeguarding at a community pool when I noticed a toddler go underwater. I quickly jumped in but suddenly got a cramp, which caused me to stall. When I looked up, I saw an old woman saving him, and got a shoe thrown at my head. I was fired. FML
Today, my rescue squad unit responded to a 911 call from a woman who felt she was going to pass out. We knocked on her locked door a couple times with no answer. Fearing she might be unconscious, I kicked in the door. She was about to open it and only passed out from the concussion I gave her. FML
Today, in frustration, I threw a spanner across the room at work, but it bounced back and hit me in the head. I woke up in an ambulance with a cracked skull and a gorgeous EMT lady. I would've tried to ask her out, but while I was out cold I'd pissed myself, and the whole ambulance reeked of it. FML
Today, at the gym, I see a person laying unconscious on the ground with people crowded around. Previously being a lifeguard, and knowing CPR, I ran over and asked a man what happened, preparing to check his vitals. I then realized that the body was a dummy and the employees were doing a drill. FML
Today, I was at my lifeguarding exam. Everything was going well until I went to 'save' someone and slipped and bellyflopped into the pool. I broke my toe, and the person I was supposed to save ended up saving me instead. FML
Today, I had a seizure for the first time in months. My fiancé went over to my job to let them know I wouldn't be going in. My boss bitched both of us because I didn't call myself. Sure, I'll get right on that when I'm conscious. FML
Today, at work, where I am the boss’s son, I introduced myself to the new guy and starting working on a project. Not five minutes into it, I apparently had a seizure, passed out, smashed my face on the work table, and regained consciousness in a state of confusion with EMTs surrounding me. FML
Today, we were hanging around the pool with a couple of friends and a crush of mine. Thinking I would be able to impress her with a well-performed dive off the diving board, I went up and attempted my best dive. I slipped as I jumped, hitting my head on the board. I had to be saved by the lifeguard. FML
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Top comments
Jessick_1 0
"Today, I had a seizure. I thought the lifeguard would save me but turns out they managed to knock themself out because they panicked. The ambulance took them to hospital, forgetting about me. FML" Poor woman.
SomeDude148 0
Maybe you should get a new job.
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Comments (137)
Thisguy9576 0
This is complete bs first, wyen you go into shock, you dont walk youd probably run and also there woulnt be random trees on a beach, and third you woulnt go to a hospital for walking into a tree
McLaughlane 0
I find it hard to believe that you are a certified lifeguard and still had this reaction. If you can't handle situations like this, then #70 is right, you probably shouldn't be a lifeguard. The next time you have a breakdown like this, the person might drown. You should find a different job.
zeGeaman 0
have they fired you?
fmlsarah 0
wow. get a new job.
hahah808 0
hahahah. a tree. hahahahah. wow you fail at your job. seriously though, what if a kid were drowning? would you have a panic attack and run into a pole? the kid could die! time for you to quit your day job?
Floridaguy81 0
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand that's why you shouldn't be in a position where you might need to save someone's life.
T1979N 0
Dumbass stories like this one make this site suck. At least make your story believable if you're going to make something up. You went into shock and walked into a ******* TREE???? Who the hell gets knocked unconscious from walking into a tree?? Oh...maybe you forgot to add the part where you went into shock and RAN HEADFIRST like a freaking RHINO into the tree - was that it?? Yes, I'm sure..... Moron.
balanceMMX 0
hope your boss called you at the hospital to let you know you were let go... you're more of a risk than help for that job, obviously!
clampy4x4 0
sounds like you need to get into a different line of work.
pianogoddess 0
I've been a lifeguard for several years, and if I was your supervisor, I'd have to fire you, sorry, but this is not the job for you