Today, I found out that my girlfriend hasn't really been "researching" for work on the Internet; she's actually been tweeting the same pathetic plea to a guy from One Direction asking him to "follow" her. She's 29. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I stumbled upon my girlfriend's Twitter account that I didn't know existed. A recent entry states that living with me is pathetic; "it's just that the current economical situation doesn't leave her with many options." FML
Today, I found out that the girl I've been dating online for over three months is actually a very bored 14-year-old boy. FML
Today, I was online dating and a girl from high school messaged me. Thinking she might have matured since we're now in our 40's, I messaged back. She then said it was a joke and that I'm still a desperate, pathetic nerd trying to score with the hottest girl in class. FML
Today, my girlfriend got a Twitter account. Now she won't stop hashtagging everything she sends me. FML
Today, I noticed that my girlfriend only texts me when she needs help with her homework. FML
Today, my girlfriend posted “Alexa, play 'Flowers' by Miley Cyrus” as her Facebook status, all because I didn’t return her 14 missed calls. Apparently, taking an online proctored exam, which required absolute concentration counts as “talking to other women.” FML
Today, it appears that my girlfriend visited an internet web page called "How to confess to having an affair." FML
Today, out of pure boredom, I created a Twitter account. Looking for pages to follow, I found out that my long-distance boyfriend is actually someone's husband. A month ago he posted a picture of himself and "The love of his life", wishing her a happy 30th birthday. FML
Today, after a small fight with my girlfriend, I started to miss her, so I typed her name into Google on a whim. Surprisingly, I find a link to a blog in which the owner describes his ongoing effort to seduce my girl. During times she told me she was alone. Thanks babe. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she found out that she wasn't really in love with me. She got that advice from an internet survey. FML
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Top comments
mpj13 8
I think your relationship is going in the wrong direction.
daniel_0084 14
Sucks OP. it's probably just a phase, she'll get over it. (I Hope) make sure she eventually tries to get a job
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Comments (90)
daniel_0084 14
Sucks OP. it's probably just a phase, she'll get over it. (I Hope) make sure she eventually tries to get a job
alexwow1 13
Im happy for you
SmallyBigs 9
It doesn't look good. Your girlfriend seems to only be moving in one direction.
TheCanucklehead 22
One direction. Down. Don't follow her there. Birds tweet up above ground, not underground
AngrySailor 17
The only "phase" 29 year old girlfriends have is distracting you while the pole holes in condoms or swap their BC pills for sugar pills.
AngrySailor 17
They poke holes*. Why is the edit feature gone on iPhone app? Spelling mistakes happen when you're drinking.
mbuck87 19
It's at the top right with a timer after you comment
MuseFan1991 14
my stepmum does this via my nine year old sister's twitter account. i think i know who's more pathetic here :/ also, #1's profile pic is scrummy :)
SlapAndTickle 20
That's very rude of you Sailor. How can you generalize people like that?
jamnglamgirlie 17
I'm so sorry for you.
cottoncandymango 17
Sounds like you two need to take a different direction in your relationship...
RoseBlack123 37
If she doesn't get over this, your relationship will be headed one direction straight to hell...
Kateyez_26 13
Kinda sad if you ask me but hey, to each their own!
ottokat 15
Thats exactly what I thought. I really don't see how this is f***ing your life, OP, unless of course you are jealous of their non existant relationship. It's a bit sad, maybe, but all in all, not your problem. Unless you are willing to give up your liking for Megan Fox or Kate Upton.
mpj13 8
I think your relationship is going in the wrong direction.
Bhall12302 7
You sir, should become a comedian.
Clay_Pidgeon 11
She wants 1D but not your D.
peff_fml 6
Yet if a man is like this he is a creep.
monnanon 14
i can assure you that OPs girlfriend is still considered a creep. who does that sure i follow famous people i like on twitter but im not sure i have ever spoken to them on it never mind bombarded them with tweets.
goth_pixie 15
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Don't worry, she still loves you :)
kross_reach 17
Are you sure she's 29?
SolarFlare 20
she's more like the sum of these two digits.
brammerderambam 8
And another one is being sucked in, abort op before the ship crashes.
XxcaitanatorXx 12
Thats kinda sad if you think about it but. Hopefully she gets a job
phoneYuNOlisten 16
Don't you think she is way too old for that?
DJisHere11 19
#13 You don't say, that's why he made an FML about it.