Today, I was woken up to my mother screaming obscenities at me, all because I threw up last night after days of not feeling well, and the flushing of the toilet afterwards woke her up. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I wasn't feeling too well and consequently threw up. In an effort to get some sympathy, I told my mom about what happened. Rather than trying to make me feel better, she yelled at me because I threw up in the bathroom sink "when the damn toilet is two feet away." Thanks mom. FML
Today, my mom decided to infodump on me as I came home needing to take a shit. She wouldn't stop talking and calling me back when I tried to walk off. I couldn't get a word in, and she was ignoring my gestures. She's now calling me disrespectful because I finally ran off and dropped a loud one in the toilet. FML
Today, my mom screamed my name five times while I was on the toilet. When I was done, I went to her and she said, “Why the FUCK did you not immediately drop what you were doing and rush to help me with the dishes?” Apparently, the fact that I was pooping wasn’t a good enough excuse. FML
Today, I had food poisoning and woke up early in the morning to vomit. My mom emailed all of my teachers saying that I would be late to school because of "morning sickness". Thanks mom. FML
Today, my mom was acting really pissy, and I couldn't help but mutter that she must be on her period. Five hours later, I'm glued to the toilet with my phone, because she went all out for revenge and spiked my dinner with some hellishly potent kind of laxative. FML
Today, my mom yelled at me for not pooping with the bathroom door open like the rest of the family. FML
Today, I had to eat my breakfast in terrified silence, as my hungover mother staggered into the room, shouted at the kettle for not boiling fast enough, and after a few seconds, screamed that I'd sabotaged it. I'm now grounded for supposedly trying to fuck with her head. FML
Today, I woke up with a high fever and hallucinations. I called for my mother, who after checking me, swore that I was just hungover from a night of partying, called me a "f*cking hedonist", and refused to help. FML
Today, I woke up with one of the worst migraines I've had in months. My mother (who thinks I'm a hypochondriac) began to scream at me about "making up an illness". When I asked for my meds, she called me an addict, and dumped my $300 prescription down the sink. FML
Today, my dad set the smoke alarm off at 6 a.m. as a "practice drill." I was woken up so suddenly, I fell out of bed into the bucket of sick I had been throwing up into the night before due to flu. Dad yelled at me for not getting out of the house in time. FML
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Top comments
yahoowizard 16
Shoulda put the toilet on mute before flushing, be more considerate now
eltapatio16 5
Don't flush it next time. Leave a surprise for her in the morning!
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Comments (81)
MissMcFly 6
next time puke on her instead then say "You Know Why!"
KiddNYC1O 22
Your mother is a ****.
btnick 1
It's time to move out!
Mea022796 2
Good morning sunshine!
MrsSmith43231 1
Wow. If a toilet flushing wakes her up, I wonder what blasting Slayer music would do for her... (hint, hint).
daylife 7
nothing should make you feel better than a mother's love!
Sammylovee1 6
Wow.. Your moms a bitch. I think she should treat you a bit more respect if you didn't feel well then she should give you respect.
LullzKitteh 1
ur mom's a c-word, dude
mellybear131 0
So sounds like something my mom would do
Belona 2
Your mom is a crazy bitch.