Today, I was woken up from a nap by my cat attacking my face. Evidently, my husband thought it would be funny to shine a laser pointer on my cheek. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my cat woke me up, but not by kneading on me though. Instead, she woke me up by pouncing on the laser pointer my dad was shining on my face. FML
Today, one of my friends was playing with a laser pointer. When he pointed it in my direction, I swatted at it away like it was a bug. Apparently, I'm part cat. FML
Today, my little brother was playing with my cat, getting it to chase a laser pointer. He thought it would be funny to shine the laser pointer over my nuts. FML
Today, I thought it would be a good idea to surprise my cat with a fancy new toy. I spent $30 on a laser pointer. Turns out, my cat is terrified of lasers, and spent the next hour giving me the "You betrayed me" look from under the couch. FML
Today, I was lying in bed with my cat. I must have looked at him the wrong way or something, because he hissed and savagely clawed at my face without warning. FML
Today, I noticed my kitten was growling and twitching in his sleep. I tried to wake him up by gently prodding him. He responded by waking up and attacking my face. FML
Today, my cat woke me up by sharpening his claws on my breast. FML
Today, I was messing with my cat by moving my hand around under the sheets to make it look like a mouse, making him pounce at it. Without thinking, I brought my hand up to scratch my nose and was immediately attacked by flailing claws. FML
Today, I played a harmless joke on my neighbors by pointing a laser pointer out of my window onto their wall. Apparently, my neighbors don't take jokes lightly as one of the sons pointed at my window while screaming and swearing, then took out a gang bandana and wrapped it around his face. FML
Today, my drunk dad decided to wake me up by lobbing our cat directly into my now-mauled face. FML
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Top comments
whyevenbother 0
he was right.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Well, I think it would be funny to shine the laser pointer at his balls the next time he sleeps naked.
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Comments (70)
PoeticPixie 0
Haha, and this is why we have our cats front declawed. They can't attack us, or the furniture, but if they happen to get outside, they still have their back claws, which are the ones they fight with anyways. Problem solved.
kevick93 0
love your pic!
TheLetterZero 7
Yeah, I hope your cat was declawed. I wish my laser pointers still worked.
inspireme48 0
hahahaha made my day!
xXdestinyXx 0
Haha. Hilarious.
plexico 4
First, your daughter made you cat shit on your lap and your husband made it attack your face. You are exactly what F My Life is about. You've got a family that hates you and a cat that is all to willing to do their bidding. Get worried when you wake up with mouse entrails on your jugular vein.
A83_fml 18
Win
Stpatch754 0
hahaha he is right that is funny xx
ShetHappensxx 0
YDI for having a cat. and a husband.
triplethreat13 0
The mental picture of this scene is hilarious, really something you'd see in a Steve Carrell movie.
mma_freak09 0
awesome husband lolz
anbu4312 0
YDI for being French lmao