Today, I was woken up by a noise coming from the bathroom. Upon investigation, I discovered my very drunk, giggling girlfriend attempting to urinate standing up. Carefully note the word "attempting". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up to hear my boyfriend drunkenly crashing around in the living room, after peeing in an ashtray because he thought it was a urinal. FML
Today, I was trying to go to sleep when I heard my sister come home from the bar. I fell asleep and woke up an hour later to see my sister squatting in my dresser drawer. I asked her what she was doing and she said "I'm peeing." FML
Today, I was peeing in the shower when my girlfriend suddenly pulled open the shower curtain in an attempt to scare me. Startled, I quickly spun around and peed all over her dress. FML
Today, while picking up my extremely drunk girlfriend from a party, she insisted on attempting to make out with me. She threw up in my mouth mid-kiss. FML
Today, I was woken up by my drunk girlfriend calling me and saying how much she loves me. She then stopped to tell the guy she was in bed with to be quiet because I might hear him. FML
Today, I was stuck crouching over the toilet after a night of drinking. My fiancé walked in, gathered my hair, and held it out of the way. When another wave of nausea hit me and I leaned in, he shoved my face into the bowl and ran out, laughing and yelling, "That'll teach ya!" FML
Today, I had a dream I was going the bathroom. I then woke up peeing, but I didn’t wet the bed yet. As I ran to the bathroom while half asleep and in the dark, I rammed into the wall. On my way back to bed, I tripped and accidentally slapped my fiancé in an effort to stop myself from falling over. FML
Today, just after waking up, I caught a glimpse of my girlfriend in the mirror. Not knowing I was awake, she sniffed at her armpits, started gagging, then quietly came back to bed. FML
Today, I shat myself in front of my girlfriend's family, after drinking too much the previous night and waking up with major stomach problems. FML
Today, I waited for my girlfriend to get in the shower before I stripped down to try and seduce her. I got ready, threw open the door and went in. I walked in on her taking a dump. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
NothingsEasy 4
And that's why you don't over drink ladies and gentleman
yoursucklives 36
that was bound to fail.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (116)
yoursucklives 36
that was bound to fail.
AwkwardPartyBear 24
Challenge accepted? (or am I the only one that thought that's why OP's girlfriend attempted this?)
yoursucklives 36
i think it's because she was drunk.
thatgirlinoregon 21
This is precisely the time to convince her to sit on the throne like a good princess.
MerrikBarbarian 9
25- I dunno about op's gf, but calling me princess never ends well. It generally ends in bodily harm. :p
happle 21
41- You don't like being complimented or praised? Bitches be crazy. -_-
golferman72 16
Yea. She's definately a keeper
Bliepje 22
i think it can be achieved :p
minniemai 0
Note that this is in Denmark.
hahaiseeyou 0
What does that have to do with anything?
longview_fml 0
Aaand your point is...?
NothingsEasy 4
And that's why you don't over drink ladies and gentleman
shireeniee 8
That would be some form of cannibalism D;
rockaroths 15
I see what you did there!
nebula748 14
This is why they made the "shenis".
Cowboy1986 4
Well then why did they make the mangina oh wait that's only in the movie stepbrothers
Rowdey 10
Both of your "hilarious" comments are just too much. But really.. leave.
ElmoSaysSquishy 28
I think 4 might be talking about the shewee but got the name wrong.
mrtjawesome 14
clean up on aisle nine.
PantyGAMES 10
I don't know about you, but my bathroom doesn't have aisles.
sirpantselot 22
I don't know about you, but I think that was a Threat Level Midnight reference.
mrtjawesome 14
i have a feeling she would be better off using a "vagtube". yes, they are real
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Please...just stop...you're not funny
happle 21
Are you implying that women per out of their ******? O.o
AshCrash_xo 0
Girls don't pee out of their ****** idiot.
jimbob95 5
85 - thank you, i always knew women urinated out of their ears but no one ever believed me
SqueakyChipmunk 22
66- your picture made me read your comment in Fluttershy's voice. You win.
mvems 13
No it's actually true, women don't pee out of their ******. Do some research. The ****** and pee hole are two very different things. The more you know!
Anthony94_fml 7
Haha.
starflyer59 17
why does anyone ever feel the need to post "haha"
Dylman 6
Why does anyone ever feel the need to question someone about posting "haha"
YoTengoTomatoes 7
Because you shouldnt post it in the first place.
KeyboardWarrior 10
Show me the rule?
stompic 2
I actually needed a whole minute to understand. not sure if I'm tired or just stupid as hell. FYL, btw.
tellithowitis 13
It might be a little bit of both...
MerrikBarbarian 9
Well, at least you acknowledge it. Admitting you have a problem is the first step on the road to- ah who am I kidding? You're screwed. ;p
golferman72 16
Your ******* stupid as hell.
Pentium_4 27
^ it's amazing how many people will say that and not realize the irony of themselves.
Pentium_4 27
ah now i just look stupid. the comment i was aiming at got deleted.
reddudeover 2
Nobody better make a lame urine pun. Because I have a very particular set of skills and I will find you and I will kill you!
onelove858 5
Will you Piss on my grave?
boofgall 16
11- Quote from movie "Taken".
SerendipityRose 26
Lmao! Too good, 13...
CareFace 16
Urine for a bit of pissapointment... Wee are going to flood you with puns.
thatgirlinoregon 21
Careful, 23, we don't want to piss anyone off!
littlemsweirdo 12
Pun trollin ! Who's in?
failureusername 12
Oui 23 this shall become Urination! I know it's not what you want 11 but don't get all pissed, although you are urining for less lame puns, you should just go with the flow. Don't use violence to get what you want, I know it might not be pee see but give piss a chance.
Spicemelon 5
Good luck
lottie333 0
whats your problem?
KiddNYC1O 22
Decent movie...
tony1891 22
who is this chick? Linda Blair?
LoganBurrito 6
Refer to Yotsuba's speech bubble in my picture for my response.
tony1891 22
Read my photo now for MY response to you. -_-
melikesfml 11
^epic win