Today, I was with my mom and my boyfriend at lunch. My phone rings and my mom excitedly says "You have friends!" As I'm about to answer it, she pulls out her phone from under the table and says "Kidding, it's just me." My boyfriend starts cracking up, and they exchange a high five. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I discovered I was at the same restaurant as my ex and his new girlfriend. Quickly, I picked up my mother's phone when she wasn't looking, and began to pretend to talk to a fake new boyfriend. Few seconds later, the waiter loudly asked me if I was done talking into the calculator. FML
Today, I called one of my old coworkers to see how she was doing. My boyfriend answered the phone. FML
Today, I went to dinner with my mom and her new boyfriend. At the restaurant, while we were eating, he started clapping and singing, "If You're Happy and You Know It." My mom joined in. They sang loudly. Loud enough for the entire restaurant to go quiet and stare. FML
Today, my co-worker handed me the phone and said it was my boyfriend calling, so I answered "Hello, Love!" It was my boss. FML
Today, my boyfriend accidentally called me from his pocket. I thought it would be funny to see what him and his friends were talking about. I laughed when I heard him talking about us fooling around until I realized it wasn't me. FML
Today, I was introducing my boyfriend to my parents for the first time. I meant to say, "Mom, Dad, this is Tom." Instead, I said, "Mom, Dad, this is Mom." My boyfriend is now jokingly reconsidering our relationship, and my parents won't stop making fun of me. FML
Today, while I was sitting in the living room with my mother, my phone rang. She immediately exclaimed, "I'm not calling you! Why is it going off?" She was serious. My own mother doesn't believe people talk to me. FML
Today, while talking to my boyfriend, I was frantically searching for my cell phone. He was curious as to what I was doing so I told him. There was long silence followed by laughter. He could hardly breathe as he told me, "Honey you're on your phone talking to me." FML
Today, my mom called me to tell me she'd got in touch with my ex for his birthday, and that the two of them had made a plan for us to get back together. My new boyfriend was in the process of proposing to me. FML
Today, I went to a surprise birthday party for a friend. Everyone was hiding and waiting to yell "Surprise!" when I got a call from my mom. I was loudly discussing family gossip and trying to get my mom to hang up when the door opened. Everyone yelled "Surprise!" and then turned to stare at me. FML
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Top comments
nel15 0
hahahahaha your mom is hilarious....relax, it was just a joke.
purple990 0
thats awsome they're the cooloest people ever to hang out with, and at least your momma and boyfriend dont hate each other, geez be grateful
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Comments (153)
TehFrosty 0
Not an FML.
nebulize 0
That is straight up hilarious.
ssnickel 0
Wooo big ******* deal...
RataBlanca 0
Awesome boyfriend and mother.
InsideJokesRock 0
You have a boyfriend right? HELLO boy"FRIEND" there's one friend and I don't even know you! Even if you're "friend" wants to undress you it's still a friend.
Person1233 13
Lawl.
Microsoftfan 0
I'm sorry for you. You have a jackass mother and boyfriend. To all you who think it's funny, just wait until the same happens to you. It's probobly likely. And InsideJokesRock, That's true. a boyfriend is still technically a friend.
bekahshae 0
Ha wow, nice fail trying to be on the OP's side...a lot of things like that have happened to me, my mom telling embarrassing things, saying I have no friends, etc. It's all in jest...of course you may be too stupid to understand that.
Baroness542 6
Jackass? Really? My mom pulls stuff like this with me ALL of the time. "Yeah, she's special alright. Special ED" I just laugh. Because, you won't get too far in life if you don't learn to laugh at yourself. Everyone does stupid stuff ;)
BlackCloudedSldr 5
Don't get mad because you fit right at the side of op. Hey check it out. You two could be friends. But being obvious that you're name says it all about your personality of an "indoorsy" type person I say this friendship has little to no chance of survival. Take a joke. It's funny. It does happen to us all the time. Our only difference is that we are able to laugh about it and you aren't.
kaelendra 0
if one of them's paying that's when you order the most expensive stuff you can then excuse yourself with purse to go to the washroom and sneak out so they're stuck paying for stuff no one even ate.
xoxoCheer 0
I know this stinks, but that's hilarious. I wish I had your mom! Mine sucks...
Squirrellord911 0
hahahahaha loser