Today, I discovered I was at the same restaurant as my ex and his new girlfriend. Quickly, I picked up my mother's phone when she wasn't looking, and began to pretend to talk to a fake new boyfriend. Few seconds later, the waiter loudly asked me if I was done talking into the calculator. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while walking in the mall, I spotted my ex boyfriend with his friends. To make myself look less lonely, I put my iPhone up to my ear and started an imaginary conversation with my invisible boyfriend. As I passed him, my phone started ringing loudly. It was him calling. He knew I was faking. FML
Today, while at dinner with my current boyfriend, my ex walked in with his new girlfriend. The waiter put them at the table next to ours, and the two of them had a front row seat to me spilling an entire guacamole salad on my lap out of nervousness. FML
Today, I was at dinner with my boyfriend. About 30 minutes into dinner and I see my exes come in, one by one. In the end, they were all sitting at the same table. My boyfriend got up and went to the bathroom. He came back and sat down with them. Apparently my boyfriend went through my phone and called all of them. FML
Today, I ran into my serious boyfriend of two years at a restaurant. He was sitting with another girl. I went over and asked him who she was. He replied, "Who are you?" Apparently I was the secret girlfriend. FML
Today, whilst on a date I recieved my sixth missed call from my mother. I excused myself and went outside and called her, she and my father wanted to know why I was having dinner and holding hands with another man. It turns out they were also on a date. At the same place. FML
Today, I was with my mom and my boyfriend at lunch. My phone rings and my mom excitedly says "You have friends!" As I'm about to answer it, she pulls out her phone from under the table and says "Kidding, it's just me." My boyfriend starts cracking up, and they exchange a high five. FML
Today, I went to a restaurant with my boyfriend. When it came time for us to leave, I saw him write something on the receipt for our waitress. I managed to get a quick look; it was his number. FML
Today, my mom called me to tell me she'd got in touch with my ex for his birthday, and that the two of them had made a plan for us to get back together. My new boyfriend was in the process of proposing to me. FML
Today, I went to dinner at my parents' house. I was going to surprise them by introducing them to my new boyfriend. They decided to surprise me too, by inviting my ex to the dinner. Everyone was surprised tonight. FML
Today, I met my ex's new boyfriend. I was at work, cashiering at the movie theater that they were apparently having their first date at. We broke up less than 24 hours ago. FML
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Top comments
amitalegaonkar 0
No wonder he dumped you, dipshit.
mrbattleman 10
YDI idiot also, you don't have your own phone to pretend to talk to someone with? that makes me think you're, like, 12 or under which makes it less of a big deal
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Comments (63)
CopperPeony 4
There are a lot of these "I saw my ex in a restaurant" stories. If we've learned one thing it's this: it never ends well if you pretend to hold phone conversations.
jellobean 0
Haha, FAIL. XD
liveBabylon 0
so agree...why was there a calculator with you at a resteraunt, are you that bad at math?
inconvienentgurl 0
they must have had the calculator to do the tip n all that. n wow u were jealous so u tried to make urself look good...hmm u kno there was an fml few days ago about the same thing. wat is w/ girls...if u rnt w/ the guy move on or just be urself. n wouldnt ur mother notice if u were talking "loudly into the calculator"?!?!?! duh! n wouldnt she have said something? wow n that was just sad to do that. if i were in ur place i would of just had a good time w/ my mom n let him do wat he wants. then again w/ me its his loss!
youreanidiot 0
I would call this a moderator fail, we had a basically identical FML LAST WEEK!
cbearxo 0
Ohh geniuses... there is a calculator application on practically every cell phone. So... considering that it says "I picked up my mother's phone" I would say it's a safe bet that the story is implying that the waiter could probably see part of the screen and the calculator had probably accidentally been opened when she grabbed it. Otherwise the story would say "I picked up my mother's calculator..." Whether it's real or fake... use your brains when interpreting the story!
Witchcraft_fml 5
I doubt that. I'm guessing, in her haste to look cool, she grabbed what she thought was her mother's phone out of her mother's purse, and it turned out to be a calculator.
amitalegaonkar 0
No wonder he dumped you, dipshit.
jackkerouc9 0
I love the fact that girls think this will work? You just look like a big ass ******* tool
dudeitsdanny 10
I'm sure it works on occasion. Just not with a calculator. Or when you forget to turn off the volume like the previous FML
No_fyl_cuz_ydi 0
so is having a fake boyfriend the cool new thing? I apparently missed that memo
StrickenNerve 0
YDI. Idiot.
jmacs 9
i used to think that YDI meant "you dumb idiot".
realsiq 0
if this isn't fake (i hope it is) YDI for being retarded
LemonadePink 0
What's up with doing that fake phone call thing? How about you just ignore them and leave it at that. Stupid.
mrbattleman 10
YDI idiot also, you don't have your own phone to pretend to talk to someone with? that makes me think you're, like, 12 or under which makes it less of a big deal
dummydory 4
I agree with #7
BlackScorpionAng 0
Ha ha ha ha If this isn't fake I hope the new girlfriend and the ex overheard everything and have lots of laughs telling everyone about this. Still something about this just doesn't add up...har har... alright, that was corny... but I had to go there... it sounds fake.
dudeitsdanny 10
I wouldn't have gotten the "adding up" thing if you hadn't made it obvious. But maybe that's a mutual fail.
jondivey 9
haha u kick ass, add up- that was truly amazing