Today, I was watching my 3 year old brother. He asked me to get him a cookie and I said, "What's the magic word?" He looked at me angrily and said "Bitch, please." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I came home from work to my 4-year old daughter cussing left and right. I asked her about it; she said that her brother had taught her some words. When I confronted him about the situation, he kicked my shin and screamed, "Stop treating me like a fucking child!" He's 5. FML
Today, I'm playing basketball with my little brother. After jokingly blocking his shot, he turns to me and says, "You're a bitch." He's 6. After I asked him where he heard that word, he responded with, "Daddy calls you that when you're not around." FML
Today, I was babysitting my 6-year-old brother and was playing Mario. When I won, he called me a cunt. I was in shock and asked him where he learnt the word. He said from me when I was driving. He then told my mum that I taught him a new word. Easy to say, I'm in big trouble. FML
Today, I was asked to take care of my 3 year-old little brother. After 15 minutes of him screaming and me trying to keep him entertained, he started throwing his toy cars at me. He hit me in the mouth, and I started to bleed. My parents yelled at me for "not controlling him." FML
Today, I told my son he couldn't have a toy. He threw a fit, looked me in the eye, and screamed, "Daddy's right! You are a bitch!" The whole store was watching. FML
Today, I realized my friends and I should be more careful what we say around my younger brother. I never thought he was paying attention until today. My stepmom told him it was time to go to bed. He responded, "I think it's time for you to suck one." My brother is 4. FML
Today, my three-year-old told me he hates me cause I’m mean because I wouldn’t give him another cupcake. Now he is calling his grandma his new mommy. FML
Today, my 3 year old nephew was sitting on my knee at the computer. He was annoying me as he kept on pressing all the buttons. To scare him off I did a creepy voice in his ear that makes him cry. He turned round and broke my nose. FML
Today, my brother asked me if I wanted to see a magic trick. I stupidly said yes and now have a black eye from where he punched me. My dad thinks it's hilarious and my mum says he didn't know any better. He's 13. FML
Today, I was babysitting my niece. While we were at the grocery store, she pointed at me and loudly announced, “She says she’s on a diet, but she eats cookies in bed!” She wasn’t wrong. The cashier raised an eyebrow. FML
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Top comments
evolution8 9
I hope you didn't give him that cookie and taught him how to speak
xXToxicPenguinXx 12
Oh kids these days!
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Comments (111)
MrSweeps 5
If your three year old has picked up that kind of language, and that kind of attitude, then you've failed as a parent, and you truly do deserve it. You reap what you sow.
Mojo0608 26
Says in the FML that it's her brother, not her son.
somthingstupd 9
Holy shit that man has a diverse vocabulary!
Saraishi 25
And that was when you took his toys and put him in a time out. Kids aren't stupid, they may not know what certain things mean but they know if they're bad things to say and test their limits with them. The key here is not to let them get away with it.
gennyv 29
I wonder which word he thought was the magic one
Boopycat 15
I hope you put him in his place, OP.
Liiiiiiiiike 15
At least he got the "b1tch" part right
Ninjahabilities 4
Who hides their cookies man ? You deserve it xD
RainbowBitch15 11
I think people are forgetting that the child is three. I am a preschool teacher and hear worse on a daily basis. Punishing the child is not the proper thing to do. The child needs to be corrected and talked to on his level. No, he doesn't get the cookie, but rather than getting angry and beating his ass, OP needs to not give him the cookie, sit him down, and explain to him calmly why he isn't getting the cookie. Then, OP needs to inform the parents of the situation. If the parents decide to punish the child further, so be it, but it is not OP's job to punish him.
Pontuslind97 6
Hahahahha
noel_2913 5
LMAO. I'm sorry kids are crazy these days