Today, I was watching my 3 year old brother. He asked me to get him a cookie and I said, "What's the magic word?" He looked at me angrily and said "Bitch, please." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came home from work to my 4-year old daughter cussing left and right. I asked her about it; she said that her brother had taught her some words. When I confronted him about the situation, he kicked my shin and screamed, "Stop treating me like a fucking child!" He's 5. FML
Today, I'm playing basketball with my little brother. After jokingly blocking his shot, he turns to me and says, "You're a bitch." He's 6. After I asked him where he heard that word, he responded with, "Daddy calls you that when you're not around." FML
Today, I was babysitting my 6-year-old brother and was playing Mario. When I won, he called me a cunt. I was in shock and asked him where he learnt the word. He said from me when I was driving. He then told my mum that I taught him a new word. Easy to say, I'm in big trouble. FML
Today, I was asked to take care of my 3 year-old little brother. After 15 minutes of him screaming and me trying to keep him entertained, he started throwing his toy cars at me. He hit me in the mouth, and I started to bleed. My parents yelled at me for "not controlling him." FML
Today, I told my son he couldn't have a toy. He threw a fit, looked me in the eye, and screamed, "Daddy's right! You are a bitch!" The whole store was watching. FML
Today, I realized my friends and I should be more careful what we say around my younger brother. I never thought he was paying attention until today. My stepmom told him it was time to go to bed. He responded, "I think it's time for you to suck one." My brother is 4. FML
Today, my three-year-old told me he hates me cause I’m mean because I wouldn’t give him another cupcake. Now he is calling his grandma his new mommy. FML
Today, my 3 year old nephew was sitting on my knee at the computer. He was annoying me as he kept on pressing all the buttons. To scare him off I did a creepy voice in his ear that makes him cry. He turned round and broke my nose. FML
Today, my brother asked me if I wanted to see a magic trick. I stupidly said yes and now have a black eye from where he punched me. My dad thinks it's hilarious and my mum says he didn't know any better. He's 13. FML
Today, I was babysitting my niece. While we were at the grocery store, she pointed at me and loudly announced, “She says she’s on a diet, but she eats cookies in bed!” She wasn’t wrong. The cashier raised an eyebrow. FML
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Top comments
evolution8 9
I hope you didn't give him that cookie and taught him how to speak
xXToxicPenguinXx 12
Oh kids these days!
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Comments (111)
sarabear94 4
It's totally wrong that parents these days are opening this kind of foul language to their kids....parents should be so careful with what they say around little kids. Your kids look bad, and you look bad.
Peachy2392 26
I'm happy you said that, a lot of people are blaming the kid, and he is wrong, but he most likely picked up that language at home. If it's used on a regular basis, he's not old enough to understand it's wrong to use that kind of language.
Mojo0608 26
Says it's her brother, not her son. Just saying.
doodlecloud 27
52 I think that's kind of irrelevant.
xNephilim 19
Partly really does depend on the kid. One of my friends uses foul language around her kids but they know it's for adults only and don't use those words themselves and generally just don't get an attitude. My other friend is extremely careful about the language used around her children and her 3 year old daughter gets an attitude on a regular basis and has been known to repeat words she's not supposed to, even after being told to stop.
goldens_fml 12
Can you say Bastard NO!
Dodge4x4Ram 46
smack him
sarabear94 4
That's disgusting you'd even suggest hitting a child...
ZoroMiHawk 25
Well, he doesn't want the cookie, he wanted a female dog.
SweetasCandy0609 28
Oh wow your brother is disrespectful I really hope you didn't give him the cookie because he definitely doesn't earn it.
kendallfireHD 16
I wouldn't give him anything.
worldclassrager 41
They learn meme's early...but he did say the magic word
uh_oh_judo 8
At least he got it half way right :p
Liiiiiiiiike 15
At least he got the please part right
cjwayy 22
This is now my favorite FML.