Today, I was watching my 3 year old brother. He asked me to get him a cookie and I said, "What's the magic word?" He looked at me angrily and said "Bitch, please." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I came home from work to my 4-year old daughter cussing left and right. I asked her about it; she said that her brother had taught her some words. When I confronted him about the situation, he kicked my shin and screamed, "Stop treating me like a fucking child!" He's 5. FML
Today, I'm playing basketball with my little brother. After jokingly blocking his shot, he turns to me and says, "You're a bitch." He's 6. After I asked him where he heard that word, he responded with, "Daddy calls you that when you're not around." FML
Learning moment
Today, I was babysitting my 6-year-old brother and was playing Mario. When I won, he called me a cunt. I was in shock and asked him where he learnt the word. He said from me when I was driving. He then told my mum that I taught him a new word. Easy to say, I'm in big trouble. FML
Little shit
Today, I was asked to take care of my 3 year-old little brother. After 15 minutes of him screaming and me trying to keep him entertained, he started throwing his toy cars at me. He hit me in the mouth, and I started to bleed. My parents yelled at me for "not controlling him." FML
Today, I told my son he couldn't have a toy. He threw a fit, looked me in the eye, and screamed, "Daddy's right! You are a bitch!" The whole store was watching. FML
Today, I realized my friends and I should be more careful what we say around my younger brother. I never thought he was paying attention until today. My stepmom told him it was time to go to bed. He responded, "I think it's time for you to suck one." My brother is 4. FML
Ungrateful
Today, my three-year-old told me he hates me cause I’m mean because I wouldn’t give him another cupcake. Now he is calling his grandma his new mommy. FML
Today, my 3 year old nephew was sitting on my knee at the computer. He was annoying me as he kept on pressing all the buttons. To scare him off I did a creepy voice in his ear that makes him cry. He turned round and broke my nose. FML
Today, my brother asked me if I wanted to see a magic trick. I stupidly said yes and now have a black eye from where he punched me. My dad thinks it's hilarious and my mum says he didn't know any better. He's 13. FML
Kids say the darndest things
Today, I was babysitting my niece. While we were at the grocery store, she pointed at me and loudly announced, “She says she’s on a diet, but she eats cookies in bed!” She wasn’t wrong. The cashier raised an eyebrow. FML
Top comments
evolution8 9
I hope you didn't give him that cookie and taught him how to speak
xXToxicPenguinXx 12
Oh kids these days!
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Comments (111)
thisis16charlong 10
let him get his own ******* cookie
BagelTheOtaku 25
smack him as hard as you ******* can
DivinePrince 18
That's called physical Child Abuse. That mean's your a ******* HORRIBLE parent.
GlasgowSneer 13
I suggest you talk to him. If it happens again, it's time for the cable wires because belts aren't enough. [;
DivinePrince 18
Well he did say please. I say just let him off. Tell him that bitch isnt a good word for kids to use. Swearing isn't bad. It's just a more expressive way to release your feelings, but you should wait until you're older before you start swinging out bs and fs Just please do not raise a hand against the kids. Thank you. I am a victim of that. The psychological scars will last your whole life.
Ewelty3 19
This kids going places. Not good places, but places.
tbon3r 15
somebody go e that kid his cookie.
inomyabc 5
Give him soap instead of a cookie.
jericho101 14
Well he did say please....
dragonrider1959 18
God kids these days are just assholes
lina21 12
Don't let him watch Chapelle, or he'll be substituting another word in there