Today, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I looked up and saw a spider on my cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, with water in my eyes, I stepped out of the shower and rubbed my face with a towel. When I looked in the mirror, I realized there had been a giant spider on the towel. Its guts and legs were smeared all over my face. FML
Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML
Today, a spider crawled across my glasses' lens. My first reaction was to smack myself in the face. FML
Today, I saw a spider in my kitchen. Freaked, but trying to be humane, I held out a piece of paper so it would climb on, and I would then put it outside. However, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to whack at where the spider was - my face. I stumbled around, disoriented; the spider got away. FML
Today, I saw a spider in my room. I got a piece of paper to try and put it outside. As I reached, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to smack where the spider was - my face. I fell on the floor disoriented. The spider got away. FML
Today, I was taking a shower when I noticed the huge spider above my head. Now, being the smart person I am, I sprayed the water up at it, causing it to fall. Right on my face. FML
Today, I saw a big, black spider on the floor of my bathroom. I promptly jumped up on the toilet seat, slipped off, and slammed my head against the wall. The best part? It was a tuft of my hair. FML
Today, I saw what I thought was a spider. Wanting to kill it as quickly as possible, I smacked my hand against the wall with force. It was a nail. FML
Today, while taking a shower, a spider fell from the ceiling onto my foot. I took down my shower head to wash it down the drain, and in the process, got soap in my eye and rammed my head into the wall. FML
Today, I saw a spider crawling across a poster in my bedroom, so I smacked the spot below it to scare the spider into climbing back up the wall. Instead, because the poster wasn't completely flat to the wall, I catapulted the spider straight into my face. FML
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Top comments
YayFlameWarz 9
On the brightside your pimp hand's warmed up.
jjames7543 13
I would have loved to have seen you do that
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Comments (181)
ikickgingers 15
I started singing itsy bitsy spider when I read this. Now, it's stuck in my head. Damn.
False_Stupidity 42
Damn you, now it's stuck in my head too!
ikickgingers 15
Mwahahahahaahahahahahshahahahshshhs
olpally 33
Re-word your comment 15... Idk how anyone understands that.. Lol
crazyjunk2011 0
blonde
False_Stupidity 42
Ginger
Garytt 0
Coolstorybro
Levvy 22
If you're looking at a mirror, what you technically saw was a spider "on your face" standing on top of the feet of another spider. If that wasn't enough to cue you that something wasn't quite as it seemed...
leadman1989 16
Spiderception!! I think this would have been a very quick reaction not enough time to even process anything logically.
Levvy 22
And the first slap not working wasn't additional clue enough? "Started slapping", not just "slapped". And oh man, I'm kind of glad you made the Inception joke, because I wanted to but just couldn't find the nerve.
leadman1989 16
You know its just easier to call you stupid. -family guy (Brian)
mintcar 10
I once saw a spider crawling on the rim of my glasses. I don't even know how it got there but I remember freaking the **** out.
chokolatecandie1 6
ooopsy that is really sad
dominicanoo168 0
I do tht to my wife all the time she hates tht
laceyanneman 7
You put spiders on her mirror or slap her?
loserman67 36
If it had been on your face, please tell me why you couldn't have just flicked it off? Brushed it off? Gently picked it off? No, you had to try to smash it. Thank God it wasn't some small child you were attempting to help.... "There's a spider on your cheek, let me get it off of you!" "SMACK!!!!!!!!!!" -- dial -- "Hello 911? I have a small child that is unconscious and bleeding from the nose and mouth, missing several teeth. Please hurry!"
ShroomsOnAcid 17
I'm guessing they're afraid of spiders. When you're afraid of something, say, a random dude who breaks into your house with an axe, you don't just gently remove him from the property, you grab the most pain inflicting object in sight and attempt to smash him with it.