Today, I was walking to the parking lot from class while texting. When I looked up as I approached my parking spot, I noticed the words "F*ck you Dave" keyed into my car. Hi, my name is Clare. Who's Dave? FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found my car with its front end smashed in. The offender was nowhere to be seen, but had left a helpful note that stated, "Sorry about your car but you can go fuck yourself because you will never find me. Muwahahaha!" FML
Today, I was in a store parking lot when I got a text from an unknown number saying, "I see you, I know what you did last summer, you wicked little shit." I freaked out and looked around in a panic. It turns out that it was my "hilarious" dad testing his new phone from across the parking lot. FML
Today, I accidentally hit someone's car while in the supermarket car park. I left a note, went shopping, and when I came back my windows were shattered, my tires were slashed, and "FUCK YOU" was written on my windshield. FML
Today, I was parking my car outside of my apartment, but the big truck next to the spot went over the line. I squeezed in anyway. Later, I discovered the truck had left and someone keyed my car. They left a note saying, "Good parking job, asshole." FML
Today, as I left the supermarket, I found someone had hit my car in the parking lot. There was a note tucked under the wipers. Insurance details? Nope. It just said "Sorry dude. I fucked up. Good luck with the car." Great. FML
Today, I came home to find a car parked in my assigned space. Pissed off, I left a note on the car's windshield saying, "Hey Assface, thanks for parking in my spot. I spat on your door handle." It turns out it was my girlfriend's parent's car. They took us out to dinner. FML
Today, after work I went to the parking lot to my car to go home. I found my car doors heavily scratched and all my tires cut, with a note on my windshield. The note read, "F*** you, Jackson." I'm Tyler. Jackson is my co-worker. FML
Today, I heard a loud-speaker announcement in my college that someone had left their car in the car park, still running, with keys in the ignition. I laughed at that person's foolishness until I realised it was mine. FML
Today, someone left a note on my car, saying "You're gorgeous. Call me. #######." I called the number and they said they saw me in the store I was in, telling me "You were the ONLY attractive person in there." We decided to meet up. He walks over, I say hi, he says "I think I put my number on the wrong car." FML
Today, I was walking from my office to the place I had parked my car, a distance of approximately three blocks. As I was about to round the last corner, I was forced to dive out of the way of a speeding car. When I looked up, I noticed that it was my car. FML
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Top comments
spayellow 0
Ummm... I think it's pretty obvious that "d-a-v-e" is "clare" written very poorly. You can't expect perfect penmanship with a key, can you?
8trickster8 0
There's a lot of these "wrong name keyed into my car" FML's. Maybe it's just the same guy for each one? Hmmm, I think I'm on to something.
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Comments (79)
bluej5 0
DUDE, That totally sucks..
Saluton 18
Stories exactly like this one have been posted before. This story would be called a "bayan" in Russian.
Sp1tfire 0
#16: Before spouting stupid shit on the internet, please research. Bayan= an accordion or a class of imperial cruisers in the Russian navy, not a story.
NDouglas 0
What does the texting part have to do with it? Would it be less of an FML if you weren't texting?
ChaplinSnakker 0
Ahh man did i get the wrong car again? One day i'll find your car Dave, one day.
EmmaElaine 0
This.
enough4 0
Wrong-names-keyed-into-cars FMLs are always fake. Why even take the time to key in a name? Is the owner supposed to be confused as to who it was directed at? In real life, you **** someone over and get your car keyed, you know what you did and why. You don't need a note. But if it wasn't deserved, you won't know that for sure UNLESS the wrong name was keyed in. Then you know it's FML-worthy. Except that would never happen in real life. So you have to make it up. Not to mention the "I'm willing to deface a car in a public parking lot in broad daylight, but I won't bother to make sure I'm keying the right car" detail. Very convenient.
blindwhisper 0
u lost me ... there must be smth wrong with your logic :
enough4 0
In "real life", they key the right car in the first place, and you know what you did to deserve it. In fake FML land, the idiot gets the wrong car BUT is nice enough to conveniently leave the wrong name keyed into the car. That way you know for a fact it's FML-worthy. And you can upload the same wrong-car-keyed-story that strangely seems to happen once a week for FML submitters. Savvy?
Atramontik 0
Not quite, I've had both my car keyed and tire screw-drivered for no reason known to me... Then again...
Brave_Sir_Robin 4
His name is Robert Paulson.
woofis 0
Fyl for having ur car vandalized. **** you dave!
pancakes_n_syrup 0
This is like word for word a FML from a couple months ago..except the name Claire has been changed..I can't be bothered to go searching for it, but if someone wants to do it, it's there somewhere
rx0829 0
enough4, you are an idiot. Just because you wouldn't key someone's name into someone's car doesn't mean someone else wouldn't. My lame ex-boyfriend did this to a girl's car just because she made us late to school by blocking our parking spot. (Oh yeah, he also did this in broad daylight. With security cameras around. And didn't get caught). Some people are just idiots who overreact to just about anything, so if one of those people is the culprit, then you just might not know what you did to piss the person off. Therefore, pretty much everything you just said makes no sense at all.
enough4 0
I stand corrected, rx0829. I guess there are people stupid enough to waste time keying names into cars in public AND broad daylight, and you apparently have a habit of dating them. At least he got the right car ya?
dinich 0
fack you, dave!