Today, I was walking to the parking lot from class while texting. When I looked up as I approached my parking spot, I noticed the words "F*ck you Dave" keyed into my car. Hi, my name is Clare. Who's Dave? FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found my car with its front end smashed in. The offender was nowhere to be seen, but had left a helpful note that stated, "Sorry about your car but you can go fuck yourself because you will never find me. Muwahahaha!" FML
Today, I was in a store parking lot when I got a text from an unknown number saying, "I see you, I know what you did last summer, you wicked little shit." I freaked out and looked around in a panic. It turns out that it was my "hilarious" dad testing his new phone from across the parking lot. FML
Today, I accidentally hit someone's car while in the supermarket car park. I left a note, went shopping, and when I came back my windows were shattered, my tires were slashed, and "FUCK YOU" was written on my windshield. FML
Today, I was parking my car outside of my apartment, but the big truck next to the spot went over the line. I squeezed in anyway. Later, I discovered the truck had left and someone keyed my car. They left a note saying, "Good parking job, asshole." FML
Today, as I left the supermarket, I found someone had hit my car in the parking lot. There was a note tucked under the wipers. Insurance details? Nope. It just said "Sorry dude. I fucked up. Good luck with the car." Great. FML
Today, I came home to find a car parked in my assigned space. Pissed off, I left a note on the car's windshield saying, "Hey Assface, thanks for parking in my spot. I spat on your door handle." It turns out it was my girlfriend's parent's car. They took us out to dinner. FML
Today, after work I went to the parking lot to my car to go home. I found my car doors heavily scratched and all my tires cut, with a note on my windshield. The note read, "F*** you, Jackson." I'm Tyler. Jackson is my co-worker. FML
Today, I heard a loud-speaker announcement in my college that someone had left their car in the car park, still running, with keys in the ignition. I laughed at that person's foolishness until I realised it was mine. FML
Today, someone left a note on my car, saying "You're gorgeous. Call me. #######." I called the number and they said they saw me in the store I was in, telling me "You were the ONLY attractive person in there." We decided to meet up. He walks over, I say hi, he says "I think I put my number on the wrong car." FML
Today, I was walking from my office to the place I had parked my car, a distance of approximately three blocks. As I was about to round the last corner, I was forced to dive out of the way of a speeding car. When I looked up, I noticed that it was my car. FML
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Top comments
spayellow 0
Ummm... I think it's pretty obvious that "d-a-v-e" is "clare" written very poorly. You can't expect perfect penmanship with a key, can you?
8trickster8 0
There's a lot of these "wrong name keyed into my car" FML's. Maybe it's just the same guy for each one? Hmmm, I think I'm on to something.
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Comments (79)
pinkkloverr 0
that sucks... and they didn't even get the right gender... idiots. haha
BlackScorpionAng 0
Dave, get help for your multiple personality disorder before that high school has you locked up and that Clair chick wants her cellphone and cheer leading uniform back.
Dr_Pwn 0
YDI for texting
EmmaElaine 0
:]
mynameis1 0
Just to clarify... KarasuFyre had it right. The reason I even mentioned the texting was because it came as a total shock when I looked up instead of me seeing it at a distance at first. But it was written in all caps, otherwise I could see "dave" being a sloppy "clare." Though IDI because I misspelled my name in the post. Hi, I'm Claire. With an I.
Stimphead 0
mynameis...1
IceCream53423 0
OMG first OP to ever comment on their own post!!
lives_ppl 0
not really...but love that you replied, OP :D
enough4 0
Not the same user name.
lives_ppl 0
Things like this makes me want to cry (badass tears, not the other kinds, of course). I love my car and am quite possessive of it. A scratch makes me feel as if it's been violated, dirty, used. If you're reading this, please promise yourself that you wouldn't do something like keying someone's car for revenge. There's too much of a chance of getting the wrong person's car and reading subsequent FMLs like this makes the rest of the world fear.
BlackScorpionAng 0
Don't you have insurance? If someone keys my car, I get a whole new paint job on the keyed panel and a loner car while my car is being painted. Aside from that, my possessions would never bring me to "badass" or any other kind of tears if they were destroyed. I guess because I own them, they don't own me...and nothing in this life material wise is worth being reduced to the level of an emotional crying twat over...IMO.
imjoe615 0
http://www.ihatemindy.com/index.php?c=viral&m=index&id=ff776beaa62164b8b675b680c4494701
anthonyhard 0
What does the fact that she was texting on her phone have to do with this story?
Panther_fml 0
how many times have I seen this fml?? For heavens sake people! If you are going to post an fml, try doing something original... (I'm sorry but I have read every single FML on this site, and i keep seeing this one, except the names are different.)
thenixter 0
lol @54 I thought the same thing, absolutely nothing what so ever