Today, I was walking to the bus stop when someone slapped an innocent person in the face with a fish. I was that innocent person. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I walked up to my friend and slapped her ass, because that’s what we always do. Turns out, it wasn’t my friend, it was a total stranger. FML
Today, I tried to high-five someone but somehow ended up slapping them in the face. FML
Today, I was walking to class, when a kid came up behind me and smacked me in the face a few times until I fell to the ground. I rolled over and he said, "Oh shit! Wrong person, my bad." FML
Today, while waiting for my order at a restaurant, a woman walked up to me and slapped me. She looked at me for a moment and said "Sorry, I thought you were someone else." Ten minutes later, the same woman came back and slapped me again. FML
Today, while sitting on the bus the man sitting slightly above and behind me leaned over my seat. All I heard was someone deeply inhaling in to my hair. I turned around and slapped him. Everyone saw what he did, but no one defended me while I was being thrown off the bus for assault. FML
Today, on the way to work, I was punched in the balls by a complete stranger. FML
Today, I was walking on a main street downtown. Suddenly, I felt someone slap my butt. I turned around, expecting to be my girlfriend who was to meet me there and almost gave an old homeless man a kiss on the cheek. FML
Today, I got on the bus. Before I could make it to a free seat, the driver hit the gas, and the sudden movement caused me to stumble and accidentally grab onto another passenger for support. She didn't appreciate this, accused me of molesting her, and got me thrown back off. FML
Today, I was out grocery shopping when some pervert decided to slap my ass as they walked by. As I turned around to confront them, I saw that the culprit was a 7 or 8-year-old boy. I was so shocked, speechless and angry that I couldn't even decide how to handle the situation. FML
Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML
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Top comments
beanybabe 13
Must've hurt for the fish
ICATiger 13
Was it the salmon of knowledge
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Comments (176)
EyeCeYu 7
Hopefully it didnt have the spiky fins.
calmyourself 7
I hope the person took the scales off the fish first before slapping you with it. Ouch
bizarre_ftw 22
What about the fish?
Dracoboxer357 36
Yes? What about the fish? Suspecting it's already dead, so.....eat it? Save it as evidence for the assault charge? Run and forget about it? Many, many options... ;) (Teasing you.)
perdix 31
The good news is that you are now free to commit the crime for which a fish face slap is the punishment. You did the time, now go do the crime.
Give_Linux_A_Go 28
Monty Python hahaa
ssnowywinter 0
the fish-slapping dance!
ch3s 4
YES! That is the first thing that I thought of!
macrosoft 3
Something seems... FISHY about this
biggestfan23 11
That's kinda funny but lighten up in this day and age your lucky it wasn't a gun
t765234 10
Yeah, getting slapped with a gun must suck.
biggestfan23 11
Yea I know you know what I mean don't be a bitch
pottymouthpanda 0
Fish Slap lol hopefully you gave that person a Bish slap,
DocBastard 40
Holy mackerel! Hopefully there was no damage and you won't need a plastic sturgeon. I'd skip the bus and drive your carp instead, just for the halibut. Don't be koi - put on a happy tuna, crank up the bass, and forget this whole thing.
TexasMud 8
You're very clever
frdmnky12 6
you sir, are amzing.
beanybabe 13
Doc your comments are rather witty and i love your sense of humour. Please update your blog so i can read more:)
TexasMud 8
Sounds like a free meal to me