Today, I walked up to my friend and slapped her ass, because that’s what we always do. Turns out, it wasn’t my friend, it was a total stranger. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at the local mini-mart, I saw an old friend from high school and decided to surprise her with a hug from behind. Turns out, it wasn't her. It was a complete stranger who screamed, then whacked me with her purse. Now I’m banned from the shop. FML
Today, I was walking on a main street downtown. Suddenly, I felt someone slap my butt. I turned around, expecting to be my girlfriend who was to meet me there and almost gave an old homeless man a kiss on the cheek. FML
Today, I tried to high-five someone but somehow ended up slapping them in the face. FML
Today, while waiting for my order at a restaurant, a woman walked up to me and slapped me. She looked at me for a moment and said "Sorry, I thought you were someone else." Ten minutes later, the same woman came back and slapped me again. FML
Today, I was at the gym when I saw one of my friends at the water fountain. I went over and gave him a man ass slap while he was drinking. It wasn't my friend. I now have a black eye. FML
Today, I was walking with my friend. The girl in front of us had a really nice ass, so I turned to my friend and said, "Damn, she has a perfect ass." He replied, "That's a guy." FML
Today, I was walking to the bus stop when someone slapped an innocent person in the face with a fish. I was that innocent person. FML
Today, I was telling my best friend that I was feeling unattractive, and that I never get asked out. As she was trying to make me feel better, we were interrupted by a stranger trying to hit on her. FML
Today, I was walking around with a friend, who I assumed was beside me, but it turned out she'd left my side minutes ago and hadn’t heard my rambling that some random person had. FML
Today, I was in minding my own business in bed in my dorm room. It was dark and my roommate came over, intending to slap my ass really hard. The problem is, I was lying face up. FML
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Top comments
cuz803 46
So...have you been charged with sexual harassment? Did the stranger strike you for spanking them? Did you apologize and let her spank you back in return? I wonder how you mistaken their identity. Did you look at her ass and thought that it looked familiar without looking at their face? 😭 We need a follow up.
RichardPencil 32
They won't be a total stranger anymore. Either they'll be your new best friend, or the complainant who's getting you arrested.
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Comments (3)
cuz803 46
So...have you been charged with sexual harassment? Did the stranger strike you for spanking them? Did you apologize and let her spank you back in return? I wonder how you mistaken their identity. Did you look at her ass and thought that it looked familiar without looking at their face? 😭 We need a follow up.
RichardPencil 32
They won't be a total stranger anymore. Either they'll be your new best friend, or the complainant who's getting you arrested.
Wadlaen 24
So, you got a new friend..?