Today, after recently moving to America as I've always dreamt of, I saw my first, majestic deer. My boyfriend slammed it with the rental car. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I hit a deer with a rental car... which I had to rent because I hit a deer with my car last week. FML
Today, I bought a new car. Twenty-five minutes into driving it home, I hit a deer. FML
Today, I hit a deer. The worst part? Papa deer saw me hit mama deer, and proceded to ram into my car. FML
Today, while driving out to the countryside with my new boyfriend, we came across a deer lying in the road. It seemed badly hurt, but instead of letting me get out and make sure, my boyfriend decided to just run over its head to finish it off, then continued driving with a smirk on his face. FML
Today, while driving home I saw a few deer running beside me. I stopped to let them go in front. Instead, one face-plants, ramming into the side of my new car. FML
Today, a friend and I saw some deer outside my car. Since we were both leaving for college the next day we wanted to do something memorable so we decided to chase the deer. Turns out the deer wanted to chase us too. We ran for over five minutes screaming. FML
Today, I hit two deer at the same time on my way to work around 50 mph. They jumped out of the bushes last minute, leaving me zero time to react. I waited a full year to get this truck, shopped around to get what I wanted, and it's my "dream truck". I've only had it for two weeks. FML
Today, an adorable deer got into the yard, so I went to pet it. It jumped on its back legs and started flailing its front legs around, kicking the crap out of me until I curled into a ball crying. I'm so bruised, I can barely sit down. FML
Today, while hiking in the mountains in North Carolina, I finally got to the deer I had been tracking for almost an hour. I was watching it from about 10 feet away, and enjoying every moment. Within a few seconds, my niece yelled from across the river to ask if I had found it. It ran away. FML
Today, as I was talking to my girlfriend about how I need to find another job to be able to afford school next fall, I hit a deer causing about $3,000 in damages to my car. FML
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Top comments
sidkid008 0
Welcome to America!
ScaughtieHolden 11
Now you can try venison.
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Comments (223)
ScaughtieHolden 11
Now you can try venison.
sr101998 0
Next on the list snake >:)
hemz_fml 13
You make it sound like he did it on purpose.
Randuhh_17 4
How many points do you get for hitting a majestic deer?
builditbetter09 3
So you come to America and run over our deer huh? I see how it is.
Evan2297 0
Welcome.
kaprookie 3
I'm coming for your boyfriend OP. Why does everyone hate on deer?
chili_is_good 0
41 pic and comment match so well
chili_is_good 0
41 your pic and comment is an awesome combo!
zombicidal 11
where I come from you get a ticket for hitting a dear if it isn't dear season or you don't have a tag or you hit it at night
cosmosis 12
BOOYAH!!! 50POINTS!!!!!
nava1210 12
Get used to it, you will run into bambi a lot
dirtroadboy 7
Did he alteast keep it, clean it, and get it processed?
Babyseal420 7
41 Youtube "Louis C.K. Deer"
spekledworf 18
Nice profile pic
elboe 0
Yessss.
MerrikBarbarian 9
Road kill... An American staple. Yum yum! I love the winter when you dont need to worry about spoilage. Fur for a blanket and meat for the belly- and it's free! Can't go wrong there. ;)
angrymexican 8
97 watch formula 1 deer hunting
christakayy 0
Come up by where I live. They're in my yard every morning. The dear are the ones that hit our cars there's so many
RacerX1695 1
I was hoping the first comment would be "America, **** Yeah!"… Sadly, it was not.
Tankkiller308 16
Where the hell do you live California it's not like you are hunting the deer with your vehicle most states if you hit one you can call the game ranger and when they pick it up you can go pick up the meat form them
sidkid008 0
Welcome to America!
CalCommando 6
Land of the free and home of... slaughtered deer and broken dreams. :0
DioMaledica 14
This isn't the land of the free I came here seeking religious freedom to practice nudism I got a fine for exposing myself in public and a month in jail
iamaleccarlson 0
Probably from Canada
boofgall 16
Canada is pretty awesome.
XenaWP 6
I'm still baffled by who the hell dreams of moving to America..
tylersign 11
67- People who don't have it quite as good as you do. I bet if you lived Africa your whole life you'd be plenty happy to move here to America.
You_Need_Soap 6
People who don't like your Harry Greek men and big nosed Greek women!
clcbjj31 0
59- Sorry, I meant to thumb down your comment.
qazaq 1
Spoiled rotten Americans who say this country sucks... Ignorance at it's best. Welcome to the greatest country on God's green earth.
StopDropNRoll 11
84 idk why bash on Africans when you probably have no idea how they live. You probably have only seen commercials on tv and based your hypothesis on that. Cause I have a friend that says he likes Africa better. Just saying.
tylersign 11
121- Wow. You're an ignorant **** aren't you? Grow up in most parts of Ethiopia and come back later.
DrDilllonReese 12
121- yeah. I totally forgot the word of one friend makes all the starvation, disease, and genocide just randomly go away. Somebody call the press. It's breaking news
Raeser 7
Agree with you 100%!
StopDropNRoll 11
Just curious 129&134 have you guys been to Africa or did you get this all from the media?
tburke1 7
You learn it in school dumbass.
auriane_fml 19
I just love these comments. I have family living in africa (north) and most of them have alot more money than we do. I assume that you guys are talking about the other countries in Africa. You should be more specific instead of thumbing down the others. You do realise that africa is a continent and that there are huge differences between the countries.
DrDilllonReese 12
158- just curious, did you get as stupid as you are from the media?
AlexanderSilver 0
Quite a bit of Africa is pretty harsh though. Perhaps where your relatives live IS better, but I'm pretty sure the majority of the continent is in turmoil.
AlexanderSilver 0
That was to 163.
Tankkiller308 16
To all the people who are saying that America is full of ignorant people, as an American it is full of them, yes there is much that people are oblivious to the media manipulates many people but it is better than being under a dictator for anyone living in America there is lots of turmoil between the south and north, states rights are slowly being taken away and a civil war is close and could be set off easily if it continues going this way and every one saying all of Africa is bad no it is not but yes many places are very poor my sister just came back from Kenya and yes they do have less luxuries but many of the people are happy with there families and are very close together.
Skater5679 4
Now, you can taste your first deer!
SookyTurner 4
Now she should watch bambi
instnt1nfction 17
He'll no bambi is more scary than saw
KiddNYC1O 22
In America, it's spelled "know".
KiddNYC1O 22
That was to 45.
Babyseal420 7
70 It's spelled "no" in the context he used it in. However I think he meant "hell no".
Skater5679 4
Yeah, autocorrect is a bitch..
KiddNYC1O 22
Lol. I see. Thanks, 99.
greg84_fml 21
Autocorrect might be a bitch, but apparently so is punctuation and proof reading.
Mx_Rider 6
owned.jpg
topie_fml 6
The royal penis is clean
jackassiddy 8
Don't worry topie, I get your Coming to America reference..
ntherewas1 11
Which youtuber is that again? I can't remember exactly who uses it at the end of his videos...
ChaPStikkWhoRe 0
Poor Bambi's Mom.... =[
Buttsexpirate 9
Well if it was Bambi's mom, then it must've came back from the dead as a zombie deer, so OP's boyfriend saves us from the apocalypse!
dadof2 4
was dasher, dancer or maybe did it have a red nose now whats santa gonna do
EpicSquishii 21
You see... this is how we do things in the ol' U.S of A. Now enjoy your meal and watch out for honey badgers. They really don't give a shit.
M0rt 0
In 'Merica we save on bullets by running deer over?
reaganomics 6
Might as well, more deer are killed by cars every year than bullets....not the smartest of Gods creatures
Babyseal420 7
24 But we go through a lot of cars though.
heartlessj 8
Honey badgers really dont give 2 ***** lol
nativepimp 1
Where the hell did op come from without deer?
Donniehw 5
Nice grammar, nice comment, and most of all... Nice rack...
armywife0609 4
don't worry there are plenty of deers I'm sure you will see plenty more : )
shoopd 19
*deer
lmaoatall 6
Beer
KiddNYC1O 22
15 brothers and sisters; 15 nieces and nephews? What are the odds??
heartlessj 8
i hear venison is great this time of year:P
Michael_92 20
Only in America lol. My friend did that the other week. Hope you had insurance!
Okayitwasme 0
Ya like other countries don't have deer???????? Americans my God get your head out of your ass, it smells there and your too use to it to realize the Oder!
LegalyWhite 7
170- he never said that other countries dont have deer he simply said that his cousin did that last week and said "hope you have insurance" get your head out of your ass and learn to read!