Today, I was walking past a homeless guy while smoking; he asked if he could have a cigarette. So I gave him one and said without thinking, "Sorry, it’s a menthol, but beggars can't be choosers." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went out for a smoke break. A homeless person walks up to me and asks for a cig. As I pull out my pack he says "Oh... Menthols... no I don't smoke that cheap shit". I was called cheap by a hobo. FML
Today, a homeless guy asked me for a cigarette. Knowing that I only had a couple left in my pack, I gave it to him. He opened it, took one out and thanked me profusely. A bit surprised, I went on my way. Oh yeah, that's right, the pack contained the money I'd withdrawn from an ATM. FML
Today, a man in a hurry asked me for a light. Not being able to find my lighter amongst the muddle inside my handbag, I handed him my lit cigarette so he could light his. He took it from me, started smoking it and walked off. FML
Today, I was at a bar and met this great guy. He was going outside for a smoke and I wanted to go too. Since I don't smoke, I decided to borrow one of my friends cigarettes as an excuse to go outside with him. As I was lighting the cigarette, he pointed out that I was lighting the wrong end. FML
Today, while walking down the street, a homeless man walked up to me. He opened his mouth to say something and I immediately said that I didn't have any spare change because I was late for work. He then said "I was gonna ask you for the time, dickwad". Apparently he wasn't homeless. FML
Today, I was sitting in the park eating a sandwich, when a homeless guy asked me for some spare change. I said I didn't have any. He offered an "erotic striptease" in exchange for my sandwich. I said no. He gave one anyway. I walked back to work on an empty stomach. FML
Today, I passed a homeless person asking for change. When I politely apologized and told him that I had none, he yelled angrily, "Who comes to this city without money?" I replied, "Apparently, you do." Wrong answer. He followed me, now screaming. FML
Today, while I was walking home, a homeless man saw me and didn't ask for change, but how much I charged. FML
Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML
Today, I stayed with a friend because I was recently kicked out of my home and had nowhere to go. When I went out for job applications, she asked, "Can you pick me up a pack of smokes?" and then got mad that I didn't have the money, calling me selfish. FML
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Top comments
i_wuz_nver_here 31
Wasn't there a post like this where the hobo wouldn't take a menthol?
cuddlebunny3548 11
Hey, it's true OP. A saying is a saying.
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Comments (147)
PhishloverA 14
YDI for smoking, period
vintage3113 6
How is this an fml? It's the truth
Breaker132 8
@PhishloverA: YDI for smoking? Are you serious? If the same situation had to do with food, would you say OP deserves it for eating junk food? I for one think this is neither FML or YDI, just damn funny.
xNiiiiiCKx 4
idiot this isnt an FML.... if anything it would kinda be one from the hobo's perspective but even then i'd be putting YDI
gregorygreg87 12
**** it, he is a beggar. I just tell them to support their own habit. Smoking is expensive nowadays.
Gunslinger3974 0
Why would you be sorry for that?
Crichton55 4
IRONY!!!!!!
luckyd880 12
Shhh no need to yell
VicMcSeven 0
You obviously don't understand irony...
lastrael 3
It's okay, it happens. Sometimes things come out before we think about them. Happens to me all the time.
itooamscrewed 10
Oh but they can. I gave a homeless man a cigarette once and he handed it back saying he didn't "smoke that fiberglass shit". He then proceeded to tell me about how the government has been hiding aliens in Canada.
chronicwanker 4
lol good one OP. Cheer up, it's a good story to tell, I would have laughed. At least you didn't tell him to get a ******* job