Today, I was walking past a homeless guy while smoking; he asked if he could have a cigarette. So I gave him one and said without thinking, "Sorry, it’s a menthol, but beggars can't be choosers." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went out for a smoke break. A homeless person walks up to me and asks for a cig. As I pull out my pack he says "Oh... Menthols... no I don't smoke that cheap shit". I was called cheap by a hobo. FML
Today, a homeless guy asked me for a cigarette. Knowing that I only had a couple left in my pack, I gave it to him. He opened it, took one out and thanked me profusely. A bit surprised, I went on my way. Oh yeah, that's right, the pack contained the money I'd withdrawn from an ATM. FML
Today, a man in a hurry asked me for a light. Not being able to find my lighter amongst the muddle inside my handbag, I handed him my lit cigarette so he could light his. He took it from me, started smoking it and walked off. FML
Today, I was at a bar and met this great guy. He was going outside for a smoke and I wanted to go too. Since I don't smoke, I decided to borrow one of my friends cigarettes as an excuse to go outside with him. As I was lighting the cigarette, he pointed out that I was lighting the wrong end. FML
Today, while walking down the street, a homeless man walked up to me. He opened his mouth to say something and I immediately said that I didn't have any spare change because I was late for work. He then said "I was gonna ask you for the time, dickwad". Apparently he wasn't homeless. FML
Today, I was sitting in the park eating a sandwich, when a homeless guy asked me for some spare change. I said I didn't have any. He offered an "erotic striptease" in exchange for my sandwich. I said no. He gave one anyway. I walked back to work on an empty stomach. FML
Today, I passed a homeless person asking for change. When I politely apologized and told him that I had none, he yelled angrily, "Who comes to this city without money?" I replied, "Apparently, you do." Wrong answer. He followed me, now screaming. FML
Today, while I was walking home, a homeless man saw me and didn't ask for change, but how much I charged. FML
Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML
Today, I stayed with a friend because I was recently kicked out of my home and had nowhere to go. When I went out for job applications, she asked, "Can you pick me up a pack of smokes?" and then got mad that I didn't have the money, calling me selfish. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
i_wuz_nver_here 31
Wasn't there a post like this where the hobo wouldn't take a menthol?
cuddlebunny3548 11
Hey, it's true OP. A saying is a saying.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (147)
MitChell127 5
Poor choice of words.
vocaloidtiger 12
Thanks, Captain Obvious.
flipfloperson 5
I like how you used the word "poor" while telling OP about his bad word choice when talking to homeless people.
MindFreakazoid 10
Your picture makes me happy
ninjadinos 14
Hey! Let's all just stop smoking and our problems shall be solved!
twisted_cherub 14
So true. It's not like we'll still have to worry about skin cancer, stomach cancer, colon cancer, breast cancer, cervical cancer, brain cancer, or any of the other types of cancer besides lung. We also won't have wars anymore, no one will drive drunk, no one will beat or neglect their children, world hunger will be solved, people will drive better, all poisons and venoms will no longer affect us, every disease will be cured, fatty foods and salt won't cause heart attacks, pregnancy will only happen when the parents are ready for a baby, no one will ever get their heart broken, and every person will be given a puppy/kitten/pony (depending on preference) that will never run away or die. With all those horrible things weighing on my mind, it's no wonder I want a cigarette every now and then.
UsernameHere234 13
50, exactly. Look at all the problems that could be solved by not smoking. Why haven't we stopped sooner? Ah yes as you also said we smoke to cope with the problems that could be cured by not smoking. Vicious circle. (Really hope I don't need to put this in here but maybe with this site, ALL SARCASM)
unsuccesfulmastu 4
Unless you find agitated and people that have no tolerance for humanity fun to be around I believe ill just keep filling my lungs with cancer :)
TayonaC 10
It's still better to not smoke at all. Though it may not seem like it, smoking does have a big impact on people and society. Even the smallest thing can make a big difference in the end.
tuzdee1022 0
I prefer to keep smoking.
TheDrudgeChild 4
All of our problems will be solved? Is that what DARE taught the kids to say? Geez, he's homeless and miserable, he can smoke if he wants to: he has worse issues than a kid reciting phrases from a handout.
ninjadinos 14
Hi, I was obviously exaggerating. I'm not a child, either, so I have never gotten the chance to even see dare. But yes, that's a mighty fine list of issues, and unfortunately smoking tops the charts for being the deadliest.
ninjadinos 14
And 70- my dad smoked. And you are right, I hated being around his agitated self when he was trying to quit. But I hated more being around him and watching him die from lung cancer.
ShyAnn29 15
People can get lung cancer even if they don't smoke.
ninjadinos 14
True. But why increase chances of it happening? Nobody smokes without consequences.
twisted_cherub 14
Actually, smoking is not the number one cause of death in this country or anywhere. In America, the number one cause of death is heart disease. Fatty foods, cholesterol, sodium, and estrogen (foods such as soy, processed chicken or dairy, and birth control are the most common ways people develop higher than normal estrogen levels) are killing far more people than smoking. But it doesn't matter. We all die of something. I have an overwhelming chance of developing some form of cancer. My family history nearly guarantees that. I already get yearly mammograms because my grandmother was only 2 yrs older than I am now when she was diagnosed. She died 3 yrs after. Colon, ovarian, skin, brain, bone, liver, cervical, and stomach cancers to name a few causes of death in my family. A lot of those people smoked, but other cancers got them first. So what's the point of living healthy when my DNA is already trying to kill me? I may as well enjoy the things I like.
gman90210 18
Well said and oh so true. Even the beautiful sunsets are caused by more pollution that factories and power plants then what peoples smoking causes and coal miners won't get lung cancer either.
thatguy303 5
Amen
seanc722 2
Some people are pretty thick... "Here i a big list of things that can kill me so why do I care if I add one more thing to the mix..." I should show up at your doorstep and murder you. Then in court give a big list of things that were going to kill you anyways so why does it matter.
destroyer69 0
Amen to that
legitkitty 11
Smoking is disgusting!
MagicGiraffe 12
Maybe what you said to him may be enough motivation to help him turn his life around.
llamalpaca382 13
OH MY GOD A PURPLE GIRAFFE
MagicGiraffe 12
HOLY CRAP IT'S HARRY POTTER!
chickenkiller 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
You know there are faster ways to kill hobo's than lung cancer. You might as well try to give him diabetes or hiv next. He then would be a one legged half arm pervert and be a happy hobo.
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
Or just eat his face. That seems to be popular.
vocaloidtiger 12
108 - Wow. I think I'm the only one who got that reference.
luckyd880 12
125 share with the class please
destroyer69 0
Ha that's funny, u cud shoot him that's fast enough
zaynismylove 2
how rude of u
sr101998 0
Extremely. Now shut up
A100893 30
Clever, clever. Got a smile out of me. :)
afropuffjake 9
****** up but completely true. At least you apologized about only having menthol and hey who the **** is gonna go buy regular cigs just to give a homeless person better variety?
afropuffjake 9
****** up but completely true. At least you apologized about only having menthol and hey who the **** is gonna go buy regular cigs just to give a homeless person better variety?
screamingsniper 7
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Both of your lives suck because of your future development of lung cancer. Until then, I'll wait for your next FML post to say 'you deserved it'.
JRFaceless 8
I'd rather quit smoking than smoke menthols, talk about nasty.
TheDrudgeChild 4
It tastes like burning Listerine. Not good at all.
tobedd 13
But they are like brushing your teeth with every puff.