Today, I was walking past a homeless guy while smoking; he asked if he could have a cigarette. So I gave him one and said without thinking, "Sorry, it’s a menthol, but beggars can't be choosers." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I went out for a smoke break. A homeless person walks up to me and asks for a cig. As I pull out my pack he says "Oh... Menthols... no I don't smoke that cheap shit". I was called cheap by a hobo. FML
Generous
Today, a homeless guy asked me for a cigarette. Knowing that I only had a couple left in my pack, I gave it to him. He opened it, took one out and thanked me profusely. A bit surprised, I went on my way. Oh yeah, that's right, the pack contained the money I'd withdrawn from an ATM. FML
Get back here
Today, a man in a hurry asked me for a light. Not being able to find my lighter amongst the muddle inside my handbag, I handed him my lit cigarette so he could light his. He took it from me, started smoking it and walked off. FML
Today, I was at a bar and met this great guy. He was going outside for a smoke and I wanted to go too. Since I don't smoke, I decided to borrow one of my friends cigarettes as an excuse to go outside with him. As I was lighting the cigarette, he pointed out that I was lighting the wrong end. FML
Today, while walking down the street, a homeless man walked up to me. He opened his mouth to say something and I immediately said that I didn't have any spare change because I was late for work. He then said "I was gonna ask you for the time, dickwad". Apparently he wasn't homeless. FML
Today, I was sitting in the park eating a sandwich, when a homeless guy asked me for some spare change. I said I didn't have any. He offered an "erotic striptease" in exchange for my sandwich. I said no. He gave one anyway. I walked back to work on an empty stomach. FML
Leave me alone
Today, I passed a homeless person asking for change. When I politely apologized and told him that I had none, he yelled angrily, "Who comes to this city without money?" I replied, "Apparently, you do." Wrong answer. He followed me, now screaming. FML
Crossed purposes
Today, while I was walking home, a homeless man saw me and didn't ask for change, but how much I charged. FML
Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML
With friends like these…
Today, I stayed with a friend because I was recently kicked out of my home and had nowhere to go. When I went out for job applications, she asked, "Can you pick me up a pack of smokes?" and then got mad that I didn't have the money, calling me selfish. FML
Top comments
i_wuz_nver_here 31
Wasn't there a post like this where the hobo wouldn't take a menthol?
cuddlebunny3548 11
Hey, it's true OP. A saying is a saying.
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Comments (147)
skierchick345 3
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
That's pretty bitc***y of you to say
XtraEzeee 8
You have a few to many *'s there.
DKjazz 20
Bitchity. That was a bitchity thing to say.
Kbearlove23 0
Say no to ciggs .
dude1122332 9
Say yes to no pants!x)
sr101998 0
Let's all have a pants off dance off!
dixiefoxx 22
At least you told him, I guess.. But ick.. smoking is so bad for you, I hope you and the homeless guy both stop.
DjeePee 25
Sitting for six hours a day is bad for you, I hope you and many other people all stop. Drinking alcohol is bad for you, I hope you and many other people all stop. Eating fast food is bad for you, I hope you and many other people all stop. Wearing the same shoes a week is bad for you, I hope you and many other people all stop. ... Moral of the story: smoking is not the only thing bad for your health, but many people don't seem to care about that.
UsernameHere234 13
Ahh, thank you 52 for solving one of the biggest mysteries in life. Why women have so many shoes? Apparently, wearing the "same shoes a week" is bad for you.
DjeePee 25
Hey, I'm not making this up. High heels are bad for your feet, no heels are bad for your feet... so if you want to be nice to your feet, wear a different shoe a day.
GweedSincE84_fml 15
Lmao! what a dick. But you're right though. haha
DoubleCross 9
Why wouldn't you give him some money of some food? Something that wouldn't slowly kill him?
kaymi 17
Yes give him money so he buy booze and still slowly kill himself.
PyroAngel1821 13
He didn't ask? I could be wrong but I'm pretty sure it said he asked for one...but I have a bad memory so I don't kno.
PyroAngel1821 13
Yea I looked he asked for one
22cute 17
Life slowly kills you. Just saying...
vocaloidtiger 12
Yes, give the homeless guy money so he can go buy alcohol and more cigarettes, because that's TOTALLY not gonna slowly kill him.
KiddNYC1O 22
Don't give homeless people what they didn't ask for or submit to the consequences. You might have a sandwich thrown at your head...
destroyer69 0
Or urine dumped on u, from that past fml
JordanGarcia 10
I could really use a cigarrette right now
twisted_cherub 14
I have one for ya, but it's a menthol :) I had a friend who said the only reason anyone smokes menthols is so no one will want to bum their cigarettes. I wonder if bums ask to "bum a cigarette"? Hah!
JordanGarcia 10
Haha I actually love menthol so I'll take that offer
twisted_cherub 14
Oh, sorry. Giving you a cigarette would result in serious fines and possible jail time for me. Almost got me, though.
JordanGarcia 10
Alright fine you caught me
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
33- You're only 16. You shouldn't even be thinking about cigarettes.
vocaloidtiger 12
103 - False. 33 is 18.
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
Did that get edited after my comment? Because I double checked. If not, my mistake. Sorry.
JustKittyKat 24
Well, it's true. Honestly you would have been even more rude to not give him one. At least you were trying to be nice. I hope he appreciated your kindness.
Im_MrSoloDolo 2
I just want to say you have a bad ass profile pic
JustKittyKat 24
Haha. Thank you xD
xNiiiiiCKx 4
idiot this isnt an FML.... if anything it would kinda be one from the hobo's perspective but even then i'd be putting YDI
MoxieThoughts 0
its true, he begged no reason to feel bad
abpersonality 19
It never fails that whenever an FML mentions smoking in it, people always bitch and moan how the person is smoking in the first place. Either come up with more original comments, or shut the hell up already.