Today, I was walking in the street, and the next thing I know, I'm waking up in a hospital. According to witnesses, a guy came up and hit me over the head with a baseball bat. Apparently that's a thing that happens now. But it's okay, he had an excuse: he said he was drunk. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up in hospital after a night of heavy drinking. My friends told me I was beat up by the doorman. After going to the club to watch the security footage, it was revealed I actually fell on my face trying to fight, and caused more damage to myself. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when I saw a guy in front of me trip and fall forwards, and I quickly jumped forward to steady him. Apparently he thought he was being mugged, and threw his head backwards into my face, leaving my nose a bloody mess. FML
Today, I woke up in the hospital with a mild concussion, a sprained neck, and a broken shoulder. How did this happen? Earlier, I ran into the guy I used to bully all throughout school. Once his wife realized who I was, she piledrived me. FML
Today, I was at a baseball game. I was eating my nachos when all of a sudden I woke up in the hospital, with my dad sitting next to the bed. Apparently, I was hit with a foul ball. He kept the ball for himself. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. Groggy and disoriented, I bumped into several pieces of furniture and made a lot of noise. My dad woke up, mistook me for a burglar, and knocked me out with his fist. FML
Today, a drunk in a wheelchair tried to fight me. I walked away as he kept hurling insults. He then rammed his chair into my legs, making me fall. I walked away again. Upon the second time, I got up and punched him dead in his face, knocking him backward. I was tackled to the ground for hitting him. FML
Today, I parked, then opened my car door to get out, and somehow managed to practically knock myself out by banging my head on the frame, then on the car door that had slammed back into my forehead as I was still reeling from hitting the roof. A guy walking by asked if I was okay while trying not to laugh. FML
Today, I went on my porch for a late night cigarette. When I opened the door and took one step inside, all I remember is a big thud. I woke up 5 minutes later with my father over top of me saying, "Nice right hook, huh?" Then he chuckled. He thought I was a burglar and he knocked me out. FML
Today, I was hit in the head by a golf ball. I wasn't near a golf course, and nobody was anywhere in sight. I'm still trying to figure out what happened. FML
Today, I woke up in bed with a one-night stand. We got really drunk the night before so I went to make a hangover-cure breakfast. Apparently he was so drunk that he didn't remember me, and when he came to the kitchen, he knocked me out with a pan and called the cops. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
vipirius 18
People blaming their actions on being drunk and refusing to take responsibility pisses me off so much. I hope you didn't just let it go OP.
Arjunt 5
Sorry OP :(. Hope you feel better
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (101)
spatula232 25
Some people just can't resist a bat
underthesea12 24
Well as long as he said it was ok
warsun 27
I don't get how people go for YDI
murphy30011 7
Press charges
FrancesShiver 20
What the actual ****?
Adam5858 17
Do you or witness know who it was ?
DylanHasClass 17
Press charges ! Sue his ass
blackonblight 33
Damn straight you press charges. Assault and battery, that's not something you just let go. At the least the ****** should be paying for the hospital trip.
xx000o 27
Forget the assault and battery, charge him with attempted 2nd degree murder. Let the ******* asshole do some prison time.
Nyahko 16
it couldn't be charged as murder ,for murder you have to have planed to kill the person ahead of time most likely assault with a deadly weapon & or attempted manslaughter depending on how badly op was injured
raphanne_fml 33
Damn, ok you can do stupid things while drunk, but that's completely different. When I'm drunk, I embarrass myself hugging people and talking loudly. There is no possible excuse for what he did. That's totally on him. I hope you get better and get justice for what he did.
misspaperwait 4
Yeah when I get drunk I generally just get super giggly haha
lkfoster1 7
Fyl
JuzReading 23
Can't even feel safe walking down the street anymore thanks to dickheads like him. I hope he gets charged.