Today, I was walking home when a man passed me and stopped. Thinking he was staring at my butt, I asked him kindly to stop. He then laughed and grabbed my wallet that was in my back pocket, and ran. He wasn't staring at my butt, and found it funny that I thought he was. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, on the way home, a guy yelled "Hey, YOU!" from behind me, so I walked faster. He ran up to me, shouting, "I said stop, asshole!" I almost pissed myself in fear, thinking I was being mugged. Turns out I'd left my wallet at the grocery store, and he was just trying to return it. FML
Today, I was on a bus and a man was feeling up my butt. I was just about to step on his foot when the bus stopped and he slipped out. Only then did I realize he'd stolen my wallet. FML
Today, while walking home with my boyfriend, he jokingly slapped my butt. A man as old as my dad drove by, yelled "Wooo, spank that ass! DAMN!" and kept leering at me before finally driving off. FML
Today, I felt a tug on my backpack and found my wallet missing. A nice stranger pointed to a guy running down the stairs and said "There goes the guy who took your wallet!" I ran to catch the supposed offender. The 'nice' stranger was the actual offender distracting me as he got away. FML
Today, I saw a cute guy on the bus. I smiled at him and he smiled back. After a couple of stops, he got off the bus. He bumped into me, turned around, apologized, and winked. I stood there feeling good about myself. Then I realized he stole my wallet. FML
Today, I after getting off the bus, I realized that the man I was talking to was distracting me so his "buddy" could steal my wallet. FML
Today, I was walking home, when I saw a homeless man trying to tear the wallet out of another guy's hand. I can't stand bums, so I smacked him across the jaw. That's when the other one kneed me in the balls and made off with my wallet as well. FML
Today, I bumped into a man on the street. I apologized and he picked up his wallet. To clear the awkward silence, I pointed out that his wallet looked like mine. It wasn't until I was on the next street that I realized it was my wallet. FML
Today, I was walking on a main street downtown. Suddenly, I felt someone slap my butt. I turned around, expecting to be my girlfriend who was to meet me there and almost gave an old homeless man a kiss on the cheek. FML
Today, while shopping at Wal-Mart, a guy grabbed my butt. When I turned around to slap him, he shook his head, said "Nice ass but such an ugly face", then walked away. I've never been told I'm ugly before. FML
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Top comments
allmidnighteyes 11
yo ass got jacked
epicwinmaster 0
YDI for thinking that youre hot. you god damn twilight lover.
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Comments (98)
bobby222 0
YDI for leaving the wallet in your back pocket.
cthulhu1138 1
Your front pocket is a much safer place for your wallet to be.
mike1921 0
You deserve it. Seriously, don't "kindly ask him to stop" either ignore it or speed up your walking. Or if you're that annoyed by it don't be kind.
DameGreyWulf 1
Exactly, and what 11 said too. And you didn't even turn around when you were talking to him? So much for being kind.
Nakedsquirrel 5
I find carrying one's wallet in the back pocket retarded for two reasons: one, the pockets are almost always too shallow to prevent someone from easily snatching it, and two, they're shallow enough that they can fall out while sitting down if you shift a little bit. The latter happened to me once on a bus, and luckily someone was kind enough to not only find out where I worked, but return it with everything inside it. Since then I've always carried it in my side pocket. My friend said carrying it in the side was gay; well, then, I'll be the gay guy that doesn't lose his wallet or have it stolen. Also, most wallets tend to be bulky when stuffed. Why the hell would you want that pressing into your ass while you sit and skewing your balance?
mike1921 0
Your friend said it was gay to put it to the side to hide the fact that he enjoys sitting when he has his wallet in his back pocket, he sits down, and it presses into his ass
Unregistered 0
is this your way of coming out of the closet?
mike1921 0
No ,this is the only logical explanation :P
SAF_fml 0
mens asses
DameGreyWulf 1
What are you talking about? Men don't have asses!
devaraja42 0
It's a Tourette's Guy reference.
epicwinmaster 0
YDI for thinking that youre hot. you god damn twilight lover.
ravinderkaler 0
epic win
Sun_Kissed18 25
Even though I love Twilight I have to admit this is funny :P
kaelendra 0
fyl not for thinking your but was being stares at or it not but for the stolen wallet... also fyl for seemingly thinking thts the least of your concerns.
freddyyy 0
Who the hell asks someone they're passing on the street to stop staring at their ass? But FYL for your stolen wallet. I carry mine in my back pocket, too.
BioProject 0
I'm with #6, how did you know he stopped? Also If he passed you and stopped and you kept walking, how did he have enough time get to you, grab your wallet, and then run away without you preventing it? Either way YDI for ASSuming.
sublime93 0
This is so fake. You wouldve had to turn around to some extent to tell him to stop looking at your ass, and then it wouldve been hard for him to take the wallet, seeing as he laughed while he did it he wasn't in much of a hurry. (Sorry if I made that hard to understand lol)
bball55 0
ydi for being a conceited bitch thinking everyone looks at ur ass also ydi for keeping money in ur back pocket where it is most vulnerable i agree with 19
poeticpunk77 0
agreed