Today, I was surprised to see a lot of blood when I looked down the toilet while I was pooping, as I don't have my period right now. I've been heavily constipated since I've consumed my allergy medicines. The thing is, I need them to function normally, as I'd be sneezing every minute if it wasn't for them. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was on my way to work. Out of nowhere, my period started. Due to allergies, I had uncontrollable sneezes. Now, I have blood all over my pants. FML
Today, I woke up bleeding from every orifice in my body. I've got a nose bleed from my medication, my gums bled when I brushed my teeth, I'm on my period, and I have hemorrhoids. FML
Today, due to my allergies I can't stop sneezing. It wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for my hemorrhoids making each sneeze feel like I'm getting a cactus shoved up my ass. FML
Today, I've been chronically constipated so long that I was actually grateful for the sudden blast of diarrhea that ruined my pants. FML
Today, I was extremely constipated. This is a side effect of the medication I take to alleviate my stomach condition. Due to this same condition I can't eat much roughage. We have no laxatives or stool softeners, and I have been shitting bricks for three days. FML
Today, I had a panic attack because I was constipated. FML
Today, I'm recovering from abdominal surgery. In addition to pain, I'm having trouble peeing and haven't pooped since Sunday, so my surgeon prescribed a laxative. Turns out I'm allergic to it. Now I'm covered in hives, even in my ears, incisions, and lady parts. I also still haven't pooped. FML
Today, I woke up with the worst cold, ever. My nose was running like crazy and my eyes were all puffy. So I stumbled over to the medicine cabinet and took what I thought were three tylenol cold's. Two hours later I'm still sick and I can't leave the bathroom. They were laxatives. FML
Today, due to medication I am taking that causes constipation, I have become all too accustomed to using a disposable rubber glove to dig crap out of my own butthole. FML
Today, the medication I’ve been taking has caused me to become constipated for so long I'm now unable to go, because all my poop is a solid mass in my bowels no stool softener can touch. So a surgeon is either going up my ass with a hose and a spoon, or cutting open my stomach to remove it. FML
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Top comments
Anderling 33
Talk to your doctor. They might be able to either prescribe a different type of allergy medication that your body hates less, or give you prescription-strength laxatives.
Yudith 28
While you wait for your doctor's appointment, try a high-fiber diet with lots of fluids. The last thing you need right now is a tear in your colon or rectum.
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Comments (5)
Anderling 33
Talk to your doctor. They might be able to either prescribe a different type of allergy medication that your body hates less, or give you prescription-strength laxatives.
Yudith 28
While you wait for your doctor's appointment, try a high-fiber diet with lots of fluids. The last thing you need right now is a tear in your colon or rectum.
RichardPencil 32
Sounds like you were getting ready for the Mother of All Snee-Sharts! (Aka, shnart.)
SirEnigM0nk 22
A bloody, crappy bit of business you got...get ye to a doctor.
core01 30
They make OTC stuff to help. Why are you intentionally torturing yourself by withholding those? Is this some kind of masochistic scheme you hatched but now regret? No sympathy from me. You dug your own hole (get those fingers in there!)