Today, I was walking home when a man passed me and stopped. Thinking he was staring at my butt, I asked him kindly to stop. He then laughed and grabbed my wallet that was in my back pocket, and ran. He wasn't staring at my butt, and found it funny that I thought he was. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, on the way home, a guy yelled "Hey, YOU!" from behind me, so I walked faster. He ran up to me, shouting, "I said stop, asshole!" I almost pissed myself in fear, thinking I was being mugged. Turns out I'd left my wallet at the grocery store, and he was just trying to return it. FML
Today, I was on a bus and a man was feeling up my butt. I was just about to step on his foot when the bus stopped and he slipped out. Only then did I realize he'd stolen my wallet. FML
Today, while walking home with my boyfriend, he jokingly slapped my butt. A man as old as my dad drove by, yelled "Wooo, spank that ass! DAMN!" and kept leering at me before finally driving off. FML
Today, I felt a tug on my backpack and found my wallet missing. A nice stranger pointed to a guy running down the stairs and said "There goes the guy who took your wallet!" I ran to catch the supposed offender. The 'nice' stranger was the actual offender distracting me as he got away. FML
Today, I saw a cute guy on the bus. I smiled at him and he smiled back. After a couple of stops, he got off the bus. He bumped into me, turned around, apologized, and winked. I stood there feeling good about myself. Then I realized he stole my wallet. FML
Today, I after getting off the bus, I realized that the man I was talking to was distracting me so his "buddy" could steal my wallet. FML
Today, I was walking home, when I saw a homeless man trying to tear the wallet out of another guy's hand. I can't stand bums, so I smacked him across the jaw. That's when the other one kneed me in the balls and made off with my wallet as well. FML
Today, I bumped into a man on the street. I apologized and he picked up his wallet. To clear the awkward silence, I pointed out that his wallet looked like mine. It wasn't until I was on the next street that I realized it was my wallet. FML
Today, I was walking on a main street downtown. Suddenly, I felt someone slap my butt. I turned around, expecting to be my girlfriend who was to meet me there and almost gave an old homeless man a kiss on the cheek. FML
Today, while shopping at Wal-Mart, a guy grabbed my butt. When I turned around to slap him, he shook his head, said "Nice ass but such an ugly face", then walked away. I've never been told I'm ugly before. FML
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Top comments
allmidnighteyes 11
yo ass got jacked
epicwinmaster 0
YDI for thinking that youre hot. you god damn twilight lover.
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Comments (98)
DameGreyWulf 1
She doesn't even have to be ugly or fat; the fact she automatically assumes it's her ass is pretty conceited, so therefore she's probably a bitch, so it won't matter how pretty she is, she'll think she's too good for everyone. Also yes, 84, looking IS free. I'm a woman and I realize this. You can't do shit until he actually touches you... unless he follows you around for a good long while.
nodbor 11
he was looking at you cow hide, not your ass
grammar_nazi 0
...you feel more disappointed that he wasn't staring at your butt than having your wallet stolen?
SirKickz 0
YDI for being more hurt by the fact that he laughed at the idea of staring at your butt than the fact that he stole your wallet. And for having the reflexes of a dying, obese cow.
NHS_ASM 0
He was probably gay, too. being from Mass.
Brey1013 0
YDI for being so vain
sj_19 0
YDI for not just continuing to walk
ObadiahtheSlim 2
Your back pocket is the worst place to keep your wallet. It is easy to pickpocket it from there.
starralchemist90 0
YDI for having an ugly butt
Zic_fml 7
You messed your priorities up. I'b be concerned with my wallet, not the fact your arse isn't that much of an eye magnet.