Today, I was walking down the street in the dark, and the woman in front of me kept looking back nervously. I jokingly assured her that I wasn't a mugger. She then took out a knife and mugged me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, someone tried to mug me. I panicked and ran. As they chased me with their knife out, I heard a slip and a shout behind me but kept running. Six blocks later I was spotted, arrested, and held for questioning by the police. The mugger fell, stabbed themselves, and told a cop that I did it. FML
Today, while going to work, I was mugged. On the way back, I was mugged. FML
Today, a man tried to mug me. I actually apologized to him for not having my wallet on me. FML
Today, my girlfriend totally emasculated me and made me a laughing stock when we got mugged and, instead of just handing over her purse like the guy said, she took out a stun gun and used it on him while I freaked out and cried. Now all my friends are laughing at me. FML
Today, a man pulled a knife on me just so he could mug me of the cigarette I was smoking. FML
Today, I was walking through a rough part of town, when a woman screamed that I'd stolen her bag. I was tackled to the ground by a large guy, who then gave my bag to her. FML
Today, I was lost in a new town, so I asked a woman for directions. For some reason, she seemed to avoid me. About halfway down the block, she quickly turned around, and the next thing I remember is my eyes stinging like hell. Apparently she thought I was a mugger and maced me. FML
Today, I was walking back to my home in the city in the dark. I'm paranoid, so when I saw movement behind me I clutched my mace. The faster I walked, the closer the person seemed to be. I spun around and sprayed my attacker with mace. It was my shadow and the wind blew the mace back into eyes. FML
Today, I got mugged. After taking my cell phone, the guy politely said: "Thanks. Have a nice evening. Be careful on your way home." FML
Today, I saw a my neighbor being mugged on the street. I wanted to help, so I tried to yank her purse from the mugger's hands. I guess my neighbor didn't see me clearly, because she thought I was another mugger and kicked my directly in the Hacky Sacks. FML
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Top comments
liv_graham 7
irony at its finest.
danial1214 21
Pepper spray works wonders in these situations
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Comments (89)
j_cat187 20
Bet you wish you where armed.
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
LoL yeah 38, I bet he wishes he could have shot her straight in the face, come on...
j_cat187 20
Flashing a firearm would probably send the bitch running. If she still tried to mug her, killing her would be seen as a public service.
kozzard 17
armed doesn't mean gun it means weapon. a knife counts, or any object really if you know where to hit them with it
Werken247 14
This is why I carry gun. I don't make a very good victim.
Nicholi124 10
Shouldn't have said anything man!
erck3800 12
that's why in two months I'll have my c.p.l. nobody will be mugging me...
streetriots 9
Getting a license to carry a gun doesn't make you mug proof.
jjmiller1001 17
how ever it does make you dangerous, just not necessarily to others
The_F3rris 11
Role reversal. I love it.
whY402Jay 12
Tactics have become more clever these days. That's why responsible people should carry. I'm not debating the ban with anyone.
emotac 2
Only in Canada
niospartan 8
That's why you have to get wrist control, and once you have wrist control you pull out your gun.
N3766 20
Spray her with bat female villain repellent....
Ylianaxoxo 9
Bitches be crazy.
sonicgreg 12
Especially in canada, damn tourists