Today, I was under a building overhang to avoid getting drenched by the rain while waiting for the bus. Apparently that corner is notorious for drug dealing, I found this out when a man angrily demanded his drugs and chased me half a block. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I caught some perverts sitting in a car in front of my house, spying on my neighbors. When they refused to leave, I grabbed a baseball bat and they sped off in a hurry. Later, those same perverts came back to arrest my neighbors for drug trafficking. I had threatened cops. FML
Today, I took a two-hour bus ride to get to orientation, got stuck a block away because the pedestrian sidewalk was closed, waited half-an-hour for my ride in the rain, when someone called the cops on me for acting suspicious. I got to the interview soaking wet, and they told me they'd rescheduled. FML
Today, a tenant in my apartment block told me about a nice shady place behind our building where he often goes to relax. Curious, I went looking for it. It was a quiet and secluded courtyard. At least until a man came out of nowhere waving a hammer in my face, screaming in a foreign language. FML
Today, I was walking to my car from my workplace. When I was about 20 feet from my car, a guy who was clearly on drugs yelled at me and stole my keys and car. Right before leaving the parking lot, he hit a stop sign and then yelled that my car was broken and ran off. FML
Today, after taking my crush to the train station late at night, I sat in a local park alone with my thoughts for a while. Two cops appeared out of nowhere and started searching me for drugs and weapons, asking me questions for a good 30 minutes. Not the kind of action I expected tonight. FML
Today, I was getting catcalled downtown by a guy I've never seen before. Then he told me he knows where I live, and accurately described my apartment while he followed me for 2 blocks. FML
Today, my mom was giving me a long lecture about being aware of my surroundings, because you never know what's out there. While she was talking, I noticed a drug deal going down in the Walmart parking lot. She didn't notice. FML
Today, I parked next to a police officer's car in a bad part of town. When I got out, I saw a bag of pot on the ground between the cop's car and mine. When I pointed it out to him, he insisted it was mine and interrogated me to the point of tears. FML
Today, I was walking downstairs to the subway. At the top of the stairs, some hobo was peeing. Two seconds before, I'd told my friend I felt rain. It wasn't rain. FML
Today, while I was walking home from work, it started to rain. Clutching my bag in one hand, I started to run so I wouldn't get too wet. I saw a man running towards me and all of a sudden he tackled me to the ground. He thought I had stolen someone's handbag. FML
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Top comments
sheethapins 13
At least he didn't think you were a hooker.
Awahso 25
I hope you defended yourself.
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Comments (90)
MrXerxes5 6
i hope your twin knows. he's gonna be so pissed when he finds out his shit is fake.
incrediblekarma 3
#24 Protip: Drugs have names. Don't buy drugs from anyone that calls them "Downers" or "Uppers" because they're making shit up. Kind of like I suspect you are now.
womanjesus 0
#29 are you aware that you replied to the wrong persons comment?
marix54888 0
72 I believe you mean #39
incrediblekarma 3
#72 Yes. It happens. That's why I put the number I'm responding to in the comment.
MrXerxes5 6
you should've sold him Smarties and tried to pass 'em off as some downers. i've literally seen ones that look exactly like Smarties
rocketeer_97 1
LMAO. Sorry OP but that is hilarious.
brbfappinloudly 0
Ill sell ya my shirt for a grilled cheese
RileyL29 0
Family Guy. ftw
brbfappinloudly 0
I was hoping he would sell his shirt for a grilled cheese
ShakeMeDown 12
Mmmmm cheese.
rocketeer_97 1
Mmmmm bacon.
rocketeer_97 1
33- awww shit. why'd you change your picture ?!
incrediblekarma 3
Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
sweet_candy_ 17
Oh gosh drug dealers are the worst. I remember this girl wanted to fight me because she thought I stole her drugs. I swear it was sugar powderd doughnuts. long story short. She got kicked out of school. I just got in trouble for eating in class.
kittykat1497 7
mm-hmm sure it was donuts
CallMeHush 1
Kickass is never around when you need him.
MrXerxes5 6
39- Obviously i know that but it's much easier to speak in generalities. Would you prefer me to say ''bars'' or ''roaches'' or for me to actually write down the full drug name? And obviously you know nothing of drug dealing because no one is going to automatically tell you what something is called. They'll tell you in generalities first if its new or uncommon. If, it's common such as bars/roaches/ecstasy then i would understand.
incrediblekarma 3
#43 Not implying that you were actually buying the drugs, but that offering "Downers" to someone willing to chase you half a block is probably unwise. You can spot the chase-y ones. But more to the point, yes, OBVIOUSLY I know nothing of drug dealing. It's not important at all to know if the downer you're consuming is Oxycodone, or Valium. Or that Oxycontin is going to be worth more than Tylenol-3. It's not important to know that diazepam is generic for Valium, or that 10mg is a high dose, and 2mg is a low dose. It's not important to know if you're taking Adderall or Skelaxin. If I was selling you drugs, I would tell you what the **** it is, and laugh at you when I had to tell you if it was an "Upper" or a "Downer." Clearly no-one would expect you to write out the chemical formula for the particular tab of E you're holding, but I never suggested they should.