Today, I caught some perverts sitting in a car in front of my house, spying on my neighbors. When they refused to leave, I grabbed a baseball bat and they sped off in a hurry. Later, those same perverts came back to arrest my neighbors for drug trafficking. I had threatened cops. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I awoke to the sound of my neighbors attacking my car with a baseball bat accusing me of calling the cops on them. I did call the cops on them, after they screamed at me last night, drunkenly, to call the cops for them because they thought they were being robbed. FML
Today, I called the cops on a couple who was fighting outside my window at 4 a.m. They hid in the bushes when the cops came, came back out when they left, and started fighting again. FML
Today, I hit a parked car and fled because I was so scared. Four hours later, the cops showed up at my house so I broke down crying confessing everything. Turns out, they weren't there about the car I hit. They were alerting me about the string of burglaries in my neighborhood recently. FML
Today, I found out the identity of the pervert who's been staring at me through my bedroom window in the late hours of the night. My parents and I decided to set out a trap for 'him' instead of reporting to our local cop. Turns out, we caught my 37 year-old neighbor in the act. He's the cop. FML
Today, I was under a building overhang to avoid getting drenched by the rain while waiting for the bus. Apparently that corner is notorious for drug dealing, I found this out when a man angrily demanded his drugs and chased me half a block. FML
Today, my dad forced me to take part in a pathetic act of revenge against our neighbors, who keep parking their 4x4 in front of our house. He made me stand watch while he kept trying to slash their tires. An hour later, we were waiting for my mom to bail us out of jail. FML
Today, I was sitting behind some bushes in the dark enjoying the view, when some cops came and confiscated my night-vision goggles, then warned me for acting like a "creepy perv." FML
Today, after taking my crush to the train station late at night, I sat in a local park alone with my thoughts for a while. Two cops appeared out of nowhere and started searching me for drugs and weapons, asking me questions for a good 30 minutes. Not the kind of action I expected tonight. FML
Today, my thundercunt of a neighbor, who's hated me since I moved in, called the cops on me. He told them he saw me shooting up on drugs. I'm diabetic and was injecting insulin, which he could only have seen by spying on me through my living room window. FML
Today, I had to call the police to get my crazy stalker of a neighbor out of my house. When the police arrived, I found out that she was friends with the officer. FML
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Top comments
tgm0112 0
You had no way of knowing if they were doing their job right. FYL
kath91 0
You weren't to know, if they were sitting in front of your house they deserved it.
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Comments (184)
tgm0112 0
You had no way of knowing if they were doing their job right. FYL
BoltTheSuperdog 22
I agree. OP was completely within his rights to be concerned for his safety, being that it was unknown that they were undercover cops. I might have called 911 first, though.
Ub3r_Crippl3 0
Not your fault, you did the right thing Also, 2nd?
snavula 0
No, you're not second if you were asking. There's a little # followed by a number in the bottom-leftish portion of your comment. Also, had you actually been second you would have been buried as you most undoubtedly already will so please just understand that calling out your number is immature. There are no hidden cool people on the internet who will be your friend for calling out your place...especially incorrectly. Now, OP, I'm going to say you did the right thing. They won't do anything to you because they're undercover and if they were doing their job they'd know you didn't work for the drug trafficker. Although its a damn shame we're wasting our valuable resources to put on a show for the world when in reality drugs are NOT the root cause of all or most that is bad with our world. They're better than some things that ARE legal in fact.
biancagolden 0
Oh wow. Took the words right out of my mouth. Especially in regards to #3. I think I love you.
WIDRR 0
I love how everyone responds to the "#1!!!" or "#2!!" comments with things like, "no one cares, get a life" Obviously you care enough to respond. And obviously you dont have enough of a life to just ignore it. So really just let them call out first if they want, does it do anyone any harm?
shawnarawwwrr 0
isn't it more immature to type a paragraph about somebodys immaturity?
gigi37 0
By telling those people that they're annoying, we're hopefully trying to diminish the comment board. I mean, if you look at the scroll bar, you can see how small it gets by everyone commenting, and I can guarantee you half, if not one third, is about correcting grammar or posting something unrelated to the original post. We also let them know that they accomplish nothing with being the first, third, twenty-fourth, etc. and just report abuse on their asses. Most people seem to have learned not to state their number anymore, but every once in a while you get the new idiot who feels the need to "claim" their victory.
snavula 0
#84, as you can see I didn't say 'no one cares, get a life'. I was simply informing the person that they were incorrect in their number calling and adding my opinion. I assumed they were trying to look cool for someone because what other reason is there for calling out your number? I then informed them that there are no hidden cool people to try and look cool for. As you can see I also put my opinion on the OP's situation and so I wasn't just feeding a troll but rather hoping to change their perspective. Ignoring the problem is like staying neutral. Its just as bad, if not worse, than actually taking an opinion on the matter don't you think? #96, if that was directed at me, I don't believe I wasted the whole paragraph on calling them immature.
shawnarawwwrr 0
"No, you're not second if you were asking. There's a little # followed by a number in the bottom-leftish portion of your comment. Also, had you actually been second you would have been buried as you most undoubtedly already will so please just understand that calling out your number is immature. There are no hidden cool people on the internet who will be your friend for calling out your place...especially incorrectly." I believe you wasted most of the paragraph, just in case you cant read..
snavula 0
Are you jealous because I put together a comprehensive paragraph somewhat explaining everything that was wrong with that comment? Where does it say that writing a paragraph answering someones question is, in itself, immature? Where does it say that since the paragraph has to do with immaturity it is immature itself? Honestly, it looks like you were just trying to be a bitch with no reason whereas one could argue I was looking like an asshole, but at least I was trying to do something about the problem. Meanwhile you sit on the outskirt, trying to sound witty but accomplishing nothing.
shawnarawwwrr 0
hahahaha now you're just sounding more like a dumbass. if you werent so ******* insecure you wouldnt sit on fmylife.com critiquing peoples comments and trying to do "something about the problem." that is just ******* pathetic. if you want to solve problems go be a ******* cop. people will still hate you just as much.
snavula 0
Hahahaha cops don't 'solve' anything. They aid in maintaining the same inefficient order we're used to. Right, I'm sounding like a dumbass. I'm sure. Really you're just being a nitpicky bitch at the moment and I wonder what crawled up your ****** and died that you'd have to take it out on me?
shawnarawwwrr 0
the question should be what crawled up your ****** to have to take your anger out on other people. maybe I'M trying to solve the problem of stupid ******* assholes on you coming on here and being rude to people that are just trying to have fun. you seem like the asshole bully that everyone hated, that was mean to people for no reason whatsoever. instead of doing that maybe you should try and think of things that actually matter in life, okay? bye now
snavula 0
Your argument implies I should stop what I'm doing, which is exactly what you're doing. But really, who cares? You basically reworded what I said, and threw it back at me which is flattering I suppose? You think I don't know what matters? Do you? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UHiuaGJ46zo That's what matters.
WackTastic 0
Hey at least you were trying to be a good samaritan, I’m sure everyone could appreciate that..even the cops :)
laceyanneman 7
Seriously just shut the **** up.jeez
hal000798 4
It's funny how she was critiquing other people's things.
whatastory 0
This doesn't make any sense. If they WERE cops, why would they speed away once you came chasing after them with your bat? Undercover or not, they would have done/said something.........
musu_fml 0
I imagine they deemed it smarter for them to drive off and not break their cover, than to flash their badges and risk alerting the family they're targeting that they're cops. I think if they weren't busy with other things, though, they would have arrested you IF the road they were parked on was a public road; you can't chase people off public property using threats of violence, you know.
thx1138_fml 0
not true. if you were an undercover cop, trying NOT to be a cop in front of a drug dealers house, you probably loved the fact that some man just called you a pervert. Excellent cover for sitting in a car for hours on end. You would not go around flashing your badge and being all HEY I'M A COP GET THE **** OUT OF MY FACE BECAUSE I'M A COP CARRYING A BADGE!!!!!!!
kath91 0
You weren't to know, if they were sitting in front of your house they deserved it.
lolzforfun228 3
they were trying to do their job, and they deserve it?
Dixie_Normous 0
They could have said something...
lmmmr 0
Yes, because telling everyone in the neighborhood that they were undercover cops would have been the intelligent thing to do while undercover.
EFFyourlifecait 0
YOU FTW!
pjunior89 0
think of this way. the cops are scared of you.. haha ur the shit. although in reality they just didn't want their cover blown so they left or else they would have ****** you up.
divineinstrument 2
Well, I haven't voted either way, because you are just epic! The undercover cops still got their job done without much difficulty, and you got to "scare" them away with a baseball bat!!! Honestly, even if I saw actual perverts staring at my neighbours house, I would be a bit too scared to try and drive them away. So, full marks to you for having the guts to defend your neighbourhood.
divineinstrument 2
That wasn't actually meant to be a reply to #6... oh well
gagliface 3
you say if they weren't undercover, they'd **** you up....well if they weren't undercover, OP would know they were cops, therefore would not have chased them off with a bat. just saying...
Xader 0
touche
thebeefzoosher 0
hahahha thats jokess.. those pigs will get ya
riaaa 0
LOL not an fml wish there is FMYDAY on here :D
divineinstrument 2
What? Your life doesn't have to be a complete disaster for it to be an FML!!! This is definitely an FML, considering all the lame ones we usually get on this site
therealmike 0
Definitely FML. Not only did he accidentally threaten lawmen, but his dealer got arrested too! How's he supposed to get high now?
wikifoo 0
cops make the best perverts !
ga_peach0109 0
YES!
clarkson_fml 0
hehe is it only me thinking that u can foresee the future?? since u start the story with "today" and finish it with "the next day" :P
riaaa 0
AHAHAA LOL X]
JeWbOy101 11
it doesn't say the next day it says later does it not? lol
hey2121 0
First!!!!
iSmellNice 2
Fail
divineinstrument 2
Lol he's just trying to get an angry reaction cos not only did he post "First!" (which severely pisses off about 90% of FML members) but he wasn't actually first. So it was a deliberate fail really.