Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while having hot passionate sex with my boyfriend, while I was moaning his name, he was coming to release and yelled out, "NO, THIS IS PATRICK!" His name isn't Patrick. FML
Today, while me and my boyfriend were having sex, he moaned out his own name. FML
Today, I was having sex with the guy I've been in love with for years. I moaned, "say my name." He didn't know it. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML
Today, I was making love to my boyfriend. In the heat of the moment, I said his name. He immediately stopped, gave me a deadly serious look and said "Huh? What?" FML
Today, I was with the guy I am seeing and I were fooling around in my room. I asked him if he wanted to have sex. He said he didn't have time because he had to go play Mario Kart. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML
Today, as I was about to orgasm while my boyfriend was giving me oral sex, I tightened my grip on his hair and began shouting his name. He stopped, looked up at me, and said, "What?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting pretty hot and heavy, then he said, "Let's pretend you're someone else." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. All of the sudden, he whispered in my ear, "Do you want to hear a Minecraft joke?" FML
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Top comments
allmidnighteyes 11
hahahahahahahaha Your boyfriend is ******* awesome.
Yaz_fml 0
I think I want to marry your boyfriend... xD
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Comments (420)
allmidnighteyes 11
hahahahahahahaha Your boyfriend is ******* awesome.
_Noon_ 0
I totally agree :D Although I don't think I'd be 'in the mood' afterwards xD
allmidnighteyes 11
If they're into it, they could role-play and give names for each others' parts... like, Yoshi's gonna tongue her Koopa Even though Koopa wouldn't work in that context, I don't care. Or he could just go the Patton Oswalt route. "When Captain Frosting gets done with your hairy bingle-bangle, it's gonna look like a rat in a rainstorm when I'm all done with my love paint!"
CrispyYoshi 0
.. what is this 'Koopas gets along with Yoshies' nonsense you speak of!? This.. this monstrosity of a colorful imagination of yours you've created!!
luciusmix12 0
I agree with you!! Her boyfriend is ******* A-W-E-S-O-M-E!!!! Mario FTW!!!
senior_dingdong 0
hahaha i agree with #4 down there, i would SO wanna do this guy just for the hilariousness of it all. But i thought this would be more relevant to #1: http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1918367 please watch hahaa its a super mario sex tape from the geniuses @ college humor.com!!!! I COULD-A EAT PEACH FOR HOURS=
Sygonus 0
Agreed, this is great. The OP needs to get a sense of humour. I'm tired of all these FMLs about sex where someone's significant other will do/say something funny, and they'll complain about it.
Darling_Cherry 5
I absolutely agree. I would die laughing if my boyfriend referred to himself as Mario.
letsmovetoparis 0
exactly! thats a ******* aphrodisiac if you ask me
Samuraixman 3
dont forget mario always goes first
TheLoneWolf87 4
Threesome with Luigi? And BTW, they added pm's. Kewl.
BabyImTwisted 0
LOL thats amazing !
CL41RE 0
............««»»/................... /.........../(.(^)..)............ |............|../''..|..............| ................|||.................. ............( )l( )/............... Maybe that got messed up, sent from my iPod.
A1L12E4X26 0
I love Mario, but not like that.
jigsaw918 0
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!
nerdlover 0
Agreed. My boyfriend is named David as well and is a uber nerd too. One night when it was particularly dark in our room and we had been fooling around just as hes about to thrust in me he says "I'm going to hump the darkness!" yea mood was ruined for a good 10 minutes by giggling.
ohsoale 0
LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO awwww (((:
Jason_Has_Heart 0
YDI because its so baddass
yumesupernova 0
LOL Epic win! xD
Secret_Fire_King 0
hahahahaha.. "It's-a-me! Mario!".. XD
alicksfairclough 6
:,) I love him
sicpupyz122 0
WIN
PoopTrainDix 0
epiiiiic!!!
kieran247 0
lol that's awesome how is this an fml?
caitlin21holly 0
what does ftw mean??
swimchamp922 1
for the win
hilda_kitty 16
Completely agreed, 1, completely agreed... OP, how is this an FML? I know it's probably not the most arousing thing to hear in the middle of great sex but I think anyone with at least a little bit of humor in them would piss themselves laughing. Man that was a long sentence.
allieo 1
**** the world
3kmtg 7
Give him a red mushroom and he'll grow
superspongenova 0
OH BABY That must have been VERY arousing.
neonokku 0
nice!
neonokku 0
nice!
YoshiTimex3 0
HAHAHAHA :] faggeett
nlandcena 0
lol ur figgot Translation: You're an idiot.
Yaz_fml 0
I think I want to marry your boyfriend... xD
depechemode 0
He sounds awesome indeed, buuhuut... the trying could imply it was their first time.... When I had sex for the first time, I would have died of shame and agony if my bf said something like that.. But, on the other hand, it sure makes it memorable.
wbrycem 0
That's a strange connection you made ... just because I'm trying to do something doesn't mean it's the first time I've done something.
onigiriqueen 0
#66: you would have died of shame? Are you really that pathetic? OP: Marry him. But if you REALLY think that this constitutes an FML, leave him for a better fisherwoman to catch. You don't deserve him.
xXLenaXx 0
the bf is amazing! :D i'm still wetting myself :D and #66, i think the "trying" implied they were about to, but didn't get there due to the mood-kill. (which i don't understand, coz the more my bf acts goofy and dorky, the more i giggle, and the more it lightens the mood for both of us :))
CrispyYoshi 0
You know... You really shouldn't take that too seriously. He was only joking about that. :
phlie 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Its called a joke you boring bitch
screwtaylor 0
Does he have Mario's tiny dick too?
Starchild21 3
LOL! that's ****** up :P
Puolukka 4
Yea...until he finds one of those super mushroom things that make him grow :p
stixjd90 0
that was uncalled for...i guess you couldn't just comment about the post like everyone else right?
screwtaylor 0
Are you high or something? I'm pretty sure that my comment relates to this FML. Re-read my comment before jumping to conclusions.
stixjd90 0
no, i am not high. but i believe the post was about what her boyfriend said to her, and didn't concern anyone's genitals, therefore your comment wasn't really related to it. and whether it was related to the post or not, it was still rude.
Emma_91 0
@ 187 Chill out. This is FML, you obviously haven't been here long or else you'd know these types of comments are extremely common. I doubt #7 was being serious. -_-
ChelseaChops 1
Wow, an influx of boring sex lies. First it's transformers, then it's mario. I'm sure there have been more. YAWN.
pedosmurf 7
Transforming into sex position and it's a go!
madiwoods012 6
You're a loser
vooper 0
haha, wooow. how unromantic.
superstephen4 5
bwahahaha. so ur name is peach right?
CrispyYoshi 0
Dunno, but my name's CrispyYoshi! 8D
Gwythinn 0
No, it's Toadstool. God dammit. I want to smack the shit out of whoever decided to randomly rename her.