Today, I was told I've secured the job I applied for at my local hospital. Being just 19, this is a great opportunity, and I told my parents. They angrily asked if I'd applied just to get access to drugs, then demanded to know how I'd managed to pass the drug test. Thanks for the confidence. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was told I would not be getting the job I was offered because I failed my drug test. They never gave me a drug test. FML
Today, I found out I was passed over for the promotion I've wanted for 9 months at the fast food restaurant I work in. Who got the job? The 16 year old girl I trained 2 weeks ago. Their excuse was, "She has ambition." I'm going to college for food service management. She failed her drug test. FML
Today, I'm a proud non drug user, but I trusted an oat cookie at my brother's birthday, which was loaded with pot. Tomorrow is our mandatory drug screening at work, my job is government based, and I worked my ass off to get it. Anyone who tests positive or misses the test is sacked immediately. FML
Today, I found out why I receive random drug tests at work. The safety department was specifically told by my boss to check up on me because I always seem way too cheerful to not be high. I've passed every single test. FML
Today, while answering an "anonymous" survey about how to keep my school drug free, I told them they should stop drug testing the kids that they know don't do drugs and test the sketchier ones. They in turn drug tested me. FML
Today, I had to resign from my job because I tested positive for drugs. I've never taken drugs. FML
Today, I interviewed for a job at a pharmaceutical lab. During the interview, I said something about a past work experience that made the interviewers think that I would enjoy doing something similar to that… so they gave me a warehouse job instead. I have a degree in chemistry and biology. FML
Today, after five months of unemployment and hardcore job searching, I got hired for my dream job. I called my mum to tell her all about it, to which she responded, "Great honey! Now all you need to do is lose all that weight." She allowed me all of four minutes of feeling good about myself. FML
Today, I was offered a job that pays far more than I expected, being a high school senior. My parents decided they aren't letting me take the job, saying I should enjoy my childhood. They're also not paying for my college, which is why I was looking for work in the first place. FML
Today, the company I applied for called up congratulating me in getting the job. I was ecstatic. Quickly enough I texted a few mates that I'd got the job. Twenty minutes later they called again, saying the trainee had accidentally called the wrong applicant. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
ihpp 22
Congrats on the new job.
Quinn32 16
They need advice so they can pass their drug tests at work.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (43)
fmlforreal92 8
Your probably going to be making more money than them. maybe they're jealous.
cherylrenee 14
Congrats. (: I'm 19 and work at my local hospital. It's got great benefits.
Toriaraekay 1
most places can test for synthetic urine now, and op must have had a problem with drugs recently or at least there must have been reasons op's parents reacted in that way, bc thats a strange thing for parents to say if there was no reason to believe op ever used drugs
WickedWolf 11
**** em, you just beat the home team, of course they are pissed. Go **** the cheerleader and do a victory lap. Congrats ;)
iPokehard 3
Grats for job
Adela21 8
Aw well that sucks! but congrats on the job!
lochiamochia 25
*Whispering loudly* "Psst! Hey, OP! Don't you know that this is one perk of being a hospital employee - getting free drugs? But shhhhh! Make sure to keep it on the down low or everyone and their mother will be lining up to take our jobs." *Stealthily walking away as quietly as I appeared*
HowAreYouToday 34
I am commenting because I am awesome
DarkskyFML 5
Well, you mother and I are awaiting an answer...
Kilomech 8
Congrats on all the free dru --Uh...I mean the new job!