Today, I was called into my 17-year-old son's high school. Why? Because it was Wednesday, also known as "Hump Day" and his friends managed to convince him that you're supposed to go around and hump people. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got called into the principal's office of my son's school. Why? He'd called his teacher a "fudge packer". No more weekends with his uncle. FML
Today, someone called the police on me because one of my students was going home with me every day. The student is my son. FML
Today, I was bitched out by my 17 year-old son's teacher. It seems the idiot teacher made the kids advocate for his own political beliefs in a presentation, and my son ended his speech saying, "And it remains my opinion that our instructor is cramping my motherfucking style." Instant suspension. FML
Today, I had to go into school for the third time this week because my son is claiming he's on bath salts and biting all his classmates. My son is 16. FML
Today, I had to sneak out of work early to pick my 14-year-old son up from school. He and a friend had been found covered in Astroglide, racing each other down the corridor on their bellies. My boss noticed my absence from work, and now my son and I are both on suspension. FML
Today, I went to my son's high school play. The moment I arrived at the auditorium, I shouted out his name to let him know I made it. Thinking I was a student, a teacher yelled, "SHUT UP AND SIT DOWN!" Scared out of my mind, I quickly obeyed, to mass giggling from the kids. FML
Today, my son had to help out at the local retirement home for his community service. He got in serious trouble and came whining to me about it after he tried threatening some of the residents into taking part in a Harlem Shake video. FML
Today, I went with my son to a conference about sexual education at his high school. I guess it was all too late, because among the attendees I saw three girls from the same high school who were already pregnant. They aren't even 18. FML
Today, I just got done being yelled at by my son's headteacher and a bunch of parents, all because my 6 year-old son has been arranging kiss dates between his classmates in exchange for sweets and so on. My little pimp in training. Not a proud dad moment. FML
Today, I got to take my 10-year-old son to the junior high school at which I teach. When my students questioned him about what I was like at home, he told the entire class: "Well, she farts all the time." FML
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Top comments
Yousuck24 21
How gullible is your son?
zingline89 18
My dog thinks every day is Wednesday.
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Comments (85)
Yousuck24 21
How gullible is your son?
theten_fml 9
Make sure he's not carrying any combustibles to school on Friday.
enonymous 9
Was he at least wearing protection under his clothes when he was humping these people? Can't be too careful with some of these high school kids auditioning for 16 and pregnant.
DaniPandi 22
Wait, so you're NOT supposed to hump people on Wednesdays? My life has been a lie...
hama806 19
At least he wasn't barking or howling while he was humping.
therealafroninga 10
Guys, I think you guys are unaware, but there's a national hump day. Every Wednesday, you go around and hump every person you see. Then you just wait for sexual harassment Thursday. ;)
Drigr 9
I thought it was Wednesday at 7am - Hump Wednesday. Wednesday at 7:01am - Sexual Harassment Wednesday
Kn0wledge123 21
What's worse is that you raised that idiot.
MasterE56 4
Football fag
XxDevilxXGt 26
He must be excited for Grab-ass day coming in a few months. It was a thing at our school one year and well... it happened.
celiiceegee 6
TittyTouchTuesday WeenieWednesday SmackAssFriday.. Sounds Legit.
Parky03 9
Correction: seems legit
kisaka 2
Doesn't sound like a bright kid. Peer Pressure...?
FarSide 23
A McJob in his future...
xXUND3ADcityXx 0
I'd make this guy look smart compared to the stud I've been talked into -_-
onlychildFTW 34
He shouldn't bend to peer pressure that easily.
beccaishereyay 11
Hump day rump day!
Recoek 2
Your Very pretty
Omg_its_Chloe 6
Happy Humping!
TurkeySlab 9
Guess youll hate i
erin1994 9
Well.... Aren't you?
BabySparkle1 15
What do you do on hump day then?
ClassyCommando 13
The same thing we do every day, Pinky. Try to take over the world.
ittsdann 6
13. I refuse to read anymore comments. That made my day
Osito2011 9
Best cartoon reference ever!
qwertyuiop100 2
Wednesday is called "Hump Day" at some highschools because it's the "hump" you need to get over to get to the end of the school week.
BabySparkle1 15
Thank you :) I didn't think anyone was going to tell me. I was very curious.
zingline89 18
My dog thinks every day is Wednesday.
alcoholmage 14
Don't you mean every day is a "Hump Day"?
KickItHigh 32
10 - Apparently, Wednesdays are sometimes called "hump day."
KickItHigh 32
Disregard my comment... I'm kinda tired and I probably shouldn't be typing anything without contacts or glasses...
MrBond007_fml 6
Wait so than what's hump day? This FML reminded me of the small transformers robot that kept humping Meagan Fox's leg.
Antares_01 9
Basically "hump day" is termed so because it's the middle of the week. Both the seven day week and the 5 day working week. It's like the peak, the round off. Hm, sort of like a camel's hump. You go up (Monday Tuesday) reach the peak (Wednesday) and then go back down. (Thursday Friday) =D
devious418 3
Honestly that's funny as hell
desireev 18
Damn! So you mean to tell me that you're not supposed to hump people? No wonder why I've got a pocket full of phone numbers... It seemed legit! :)
gc327072 31
I'm sure for the other person it'd be pretty legit,