Today, I was texting this guy i've liked for a really long time, because of how nice and sentimental he is. We were sending each other things like "You make me smile" and "You're so damn cute" when finally he said "Let's just stop texting and hook up already." So much for sentimental. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was texting the guy I like. He's really smart, funny, athletic, and cute. This all changed when he told me he was jacking off. FML
Today, I was flirting with a guy and we ended up having a deep conversation through text. We were talking all our problems, and saying really sweet things to each other. I THOUGHT he was going to say something else really sweet and cute. He linked me to Suicide Hotline instead. FML
Today, after many weeks of talking to this guy over the phone for hours on end and establishing that we both had feelings for the other, we met in person. He saw me, got an "emergency text," and hasn't talked to me since. FML
Today, the guy that I've recently became close to texted me, wanting to hook up. He's very cute and I was definitely interested, so I agreed. The drive to his house lasted longer than the actual sex. He lives less than five minutes away. FML
Today, I sent a text to a guy I'd met over the weekend. He'd traveled 40 miles to my town for the date, so I picked up the tab for dinner. My text simply said, "Had a nice time. Looking forward to getting together again." His reply was, "When did you get so needy?" FML
Today, I told the guy I've been in love with for a year how I felt. He replied, "There will never be an us, but you can send nudes if you like." FML
Today, I was supposed to finally go out with my guy friend that I have liked for a long time. He told me he would text me, and after waiting for hours for the text, I finally got it. It said, "Guess what!? I just got laid!" He forgot our date, had it off, and I congratulated him. FML
Today, I called the guy I've liked for a long time and told him how I felt. He didn't say anything except for "hello." After I spilled my feelings, I hear "Haha, just kidding I'm not here right now! Call me back later!" FML
Today, the guy I've been texting told me he loved me and he couldn't wait to make me his wife, and he couldn't wait for us to have kids and grow old together. I've only known him for 3 days. FML
Today, a boy I'm not even dating took it upon himself to tell me that we would never work out. Via text message. FML
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Top comments
TheWicked 4
Ehh.. shouldn't you be happy that he's finally trying to get somewhere?!
Joshua137 0
blunt
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Comments (282)
ImaginaryFoe 1
Wanting to hook up doesn't mean he's not sentimental. It just means he was ready to move to the next stage. Did you expect candy, flowers, and long letters? Stop setting impossible standards.
theRovingMage 0
So...guys think they can say "You're cute, let's screw" and that's supposed to be "taking it to the next stage"? And expecting maybe some dating and perhaps actual social interaction is "expecting too much"? Ye gods, no wonder girls complain there's no good men left. Here I was raised with the ancient idea that sex was an expression of love, not a precursor.
boopityboppity 11
^I love this guy.
ImaginaryFoe 1
I don't think I said anything about sex so I have no idea what you're talking about. Where I come from "let's hook up" means "let's go out" and nothing more. Maybe your standards are high but your mind seems to be in the gutter.
Freeze_fml 17
That's what it means here, too, but I learned from another FML that my definition is the minority.
boopityboppity 11
But you see, you two, as I've said before, this is in the "Intimacy" category, so the other definition would apply here. ImaginaryFoe's comment is more typical of her usual ones when seen in this new light. I still like the other guy's comment, even if it doesn't really apply to you, IF.
CitizenSnipz 0
Sex = Basic Human Needs = s Sentimental Guys = Dont get much action= g Hooking up with nice person = Having sex with OP = a g(-s) = -gs = a. MATH, BITCHES!
theRovingMage 0
Lol, thank you boopityboopity. I'm actually a girl, though. :P
CitizenSnipz 0
no one likes my math :(
metallicatime 0
see now you ma'am, are one of these things us guys call a "tease"
xhk20x 0
how is that an FML?? you got what you wanted!
stevenmx86 8
29, she only liked him because she thought he was going to be a sentimental little bitch lol
melly_fish8 3
straight to the point... haha I like it
GTmustang07 0
that's what happens when u tease people like that. now he's sexually frustrated. u should be ashamed!
xxcaitxx 0
Dislikes people that can't spell sandwich -cough cough- 123zc1 -cough cough-
Pearljammer001 0
dislikes people who aren't in on the sammich joke.. cough cough xxcaitxx cough
CitizenSnipz 0
cait = c = negative number. c•peng **** IT NO MATH TODAY.
Xavi89 0
isn't that what you wanted?
CrazyManNo9 29
You are jumping to conclusions. By hook up, he may mean go out not do it. If you think he's a decent guy, go by those instincts and give him a break.
canadian_ftw 8
nice catch you found! I would do it though. it could lead to something more, like you two dating.
yeahreally 6
lol well what else is he gonna do? play along for 4 months? cmon now that text was coming.