Today, I decided to have cereal for breakfast. I poured the cereal in the bowl, added the milk and had a spoonful. Then I realized that my cereal was moving in the back of my mouth. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got out of my bed and immediately stepped into a half-eaten bowl of cereal. FML
Today, I was eating a bowl of cereal and noticed something float to the top. On closer inspection, it turned out to be a mouse turd. I had already eaten half the bowl. FML
Today, I was eating cereal and decided to warm it up to see what it tasted like. So, using a candle in the room I placed my spoon over the flame and waited to see if it heated up. Pleased with my silly experiment, I put the spoon back in my mouth. I now can't talk because of my swollen tongue. FML
Today, I was carrying a bowl of cereal to the couch when my cat ran between my feet. I somehow saved every drop of milk but launched the cereal across the room. My cat immediately ate the cereal off of the floor and then walked away looking like he had planned it. FML
Today, I was having a hard time waking up. When I sat down for breakfast, my chair rocked backwards. I reflexively grabbed out at something to hold on to. Unfortunately, I grabbed the cereal box that was on the table. FML
Today, I'd finally got home from a 15-hour shift at work and wanted to lay down and eat. I poured myself a bowl of cereal, went to my room, and sat it on my bed. My dog then jumped right on my bed and yanked the sheets off, causing the cereal to fly everywhere. FML
Today, I bit into a cereal bar and thought the inside was oddly damp. I took a look at it and saw a maggot worm wriggling around. Its friend was in my mouth. FML
Today, I bought myself an MP3 player. Later, I was laying in bed, listening to music and eating a bowl of cereal, when I went to move the bowl of cereal on the bedside table for some shut eye. I dropped my MP3 player into the leftover milk. FML
Today, I woke up so pissed off that I yelled at my cereal. FML
Today, while rushing to work, I tried eating a yogurt while walking. I tripped on absolutely nothing, flung the spoon behind me, and somehow launched the yogurt straight up. It landed squarely on my head, and it looked like a bird had shat on me. FML
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Top comments
peceout 29
I'm guessing it wasn't cereal.
Pegasustato 20
What a healthy way to start your morning! yeah that sucks OP...
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Comments (132)
peceout 29
I'm guessing it wasn't cereal.
Unixxxion 22
THE CEREAL LIVES!!!!
Sethan01 24
Guesser of the year award goes to..
lnheritance 19
Or that Rice Krispies cereal is getting real with popping.
starile 20
WHY DID I HAVE TO READ THIS WHILE I'M EATING MY CEREAL
Kazze 31
124: You forgot FML rule #35: never eat while reading FML. You'll regret it.
davisjenny81 30
Eww what happened? Were you eating roaches?
Jdlove2 20
Probably weevils
venomousflower 24
I am officially scarred
CTMPandemonium 16
It was a big bowl of Nope-Crispies
Blake77_fml 19
Cow semen
JoSmokes 10
What was it?
Pegasustato 20
What a healthy way to start your morning! yeah that sucks OP...
peceout 29
Well insects are very nutriti... Nope I can't.
apineapple 40
Extra protein!
extremereviews 26
Snap crackle pop
stevenN659 24
That's one way to get some extra fiber in your diet.
RayneSmytson 24
Protein. Protein, not fibre.
SweetasCandy0609 28
#27 if you're going to try and correct someone you should try and spell it correct first and second bugs have fiber and protein Google it and it will tell you.
anerdscreativity 8
Fibre is the British/Canadian spelling of the word; its pointless that you tried shaming him by saying he spelled it wrong
SweetasCandy0609 28
#43 I wasn't trying to shame anyone I was only informing # 27 that bugs are both fiber and protein and I wasn't trying to be rude to #27 I just wasn't aware that fibre is British/Canadian for fiber, However I do apologize for not knowing that fibre is the British/Canadian word for fiber before i commented, I learned something new today thank you #43.
nonsensical 26
#41 I don't mean to be rude but even if "fibre" was incorrect, I think you're the last person who should be correcting people on their grammar. Your "about me" was almost painful to read with all those mistakes. I'm an English teacher so anytime I see a mistake I have the urge to get my red marker and correct the shit out of it til it's crawling back to it's momma in TEARS MUTHAFUCKA. Okay I may have crossed the line on that last part but... no, no. I didn't cross it.
Enslaved 38
59. So you're a teacher? Hope that means you care enough to make sure your profile also is mistake free. Hmmmm Pot meet kettle. Lol
iAmPaul 49
59 - Just wanted to mention how ironic it is that you made grammatical mistakes in the comment in which you claim to be anal about correcting mistakes and claim to be an English teacher.
Kazze 31
58: I would learn the right way to structure a sentence BEFORE you correct someone on their spelling. It might make you look like less of an ass.
anerdscreativity 8
#59 You're an English teacher and I'm an English major; only difference is I don't practice grammar where it doesn't matter or isn't professional otherwise. Plus, I find it a little strange that you had to check my profile, for whatever reason that may be. And your usage of some words in your comment are a bit off. Purposefully or not, I'm gonna have to invoke some hypocrisy here.
Kazze 31
77: She wrote that as a reply to "Sweetascandy" (#41), not you.
Soobie 10
An English teacher should know that "it's momma" is incorrect!
kuzzy00 22
Us British know the difference between American spelling and our spelling. British tend to use a vast vocabulary in comparison to Americans. It's not surprising a Yankee didn't know the difference -.- I shudder to think what you do in "English" class.
kuzzy00 22
#102. Cheap shot I felt her comments are validated. Although, how she proclaimed herself as an English teacher to a group who are fluent speakers of the language is partially arrogant. It was out of context and served nil purpose. I too, am an English teacher. At least she looks the part (photo two on her profile).
nonsensical 26
Hello everyone, I just thought I'd like to clear up some things before I go on my merry way to a spending lovely Sunday. 65: What mistake do I have on my profile? Is it the lack of capital letter at the beginning and period at the end of a single, very short sentence? please relax xD I was merely referring to the paragraph of I-don't-know-how-many-sentences without a single punctuation mark and grave spelling errors. This is FML, it's ok to have mistakes (I mean come on it's just a fun site), NOBODY CARES. But when hers was that bad and she felt obligated to correct such a simple mistake from someone else, it bothered me. 69: (i like your number) If you're referring to the sentence towards the end where I say "...til it's crawling back to it's momma in TEARS MUTHAFUCKA." obviously it was a joke, and I was trying to lighten the mood, going from serious to simply crazy. 105: I will clear up that I'm an ESL teacher living in Spain, I have no university studies RELATED TO ENGLISH, I've just been teaching to help me pay for uni and that's that. I am not superior to any of you other English majors/teachers out there. I only said I was an English teacher to explain why I would get out my red marker, otherwise that part might not have made sense. Now take those sticks out of your butts! ;D Also it seems like you may have taken a shot at my looks; thank you for saying I don't look like a teacher!
Retaheki 27
#58, follow your own instructions, search up fibre on Google. Hell, it comes up on my phone's keyboard as a prediction. And if you're going to correct people, at least have the decency to be correct yourself. Have you seen your About Me? I thought the other person was exaggerating, but it's REALLY bad. First line, "their is." That's a first grade mistake.
AutisticAbyss 10
There magically delicious!
givemediamonds 7
They're*
Emmamazing 26
I threw up a little
mellajella 14
Yeah I'm not eating breakfast this morning now.
Emmamazing 26
Nothing like good ol' FML in the morning to Ruin your appetite.
usmc_sean 8
Maybe you should close your cereal boxes better... FYL
purelymixed 17
Gross bro keep that stuff sealed