Today, I was telling my dad about how I emasculated my guy friends because I can drive a stick shift while they can't. He said, "And you wonder why people think you're a lesbian." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom tried to convince my dad that I was a lesbian. Why? Because she was bored. FML
Today, my dad has “accepted” that I’m a lesbian, but can’t seem to understand why I can’t just ignore that part of myself, marry a man and have kids, and never talk about the "lesbian thing" ever again. FML
Today, I admitted to my wife that I'd really like to get a Prius, but I was worried that if I did, everyone would question my sexuality. She told me, "I don't know why you care, everyone already thinks you're gay." FML
Today, I found out that my parents have thought I'm lesbian for at least a year. I now understand why my dad has been trying to get me to "hang out" with his co-worker's daughter. FML
Today, I came out of the closet. Now whenever I'm getting ready to go somewhere with my dad he says, "Lesgo, lesbo." FML
Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my parents. Everyone knows he's into the emo scene, but this didn't stop my dad from slowly looking him up and down, then saying, completely deadpan, "You never told us you were a lesbian, honey." FML
Today, I found out that my mother has been telling everybody that I’m a lesbian, because both of her best friends have at least one gay child each, and she was feeling left out. This explains why people have been treating me differently the last few weeks. FML
Today, one of my dad's work friends came over. As he was leaving, he complimented my dad on having three "strapping young boys." I informed him that I'm a girl, and I have a hormone imbalance that causes me to have a lot of hair and a deep voice. I guess my dress didn't give him a clue. FML
Today, my entire family thinks I'm a lesbian. I'm straight. I'm embarrassed and don't know how to tell them that I've been single for so long because I can't get a guy. FML
Today, I went for a drive with my boyfriend and his dad. His dad was kind enough to point out at every opportunity girls "that would be better for him than me." FML
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Top comments
eftup 9
Women that can drive a stick is a plus. Was that dirty?
lulu121893 0
I didn't know driving a stick would considered being lesbian...?
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Comments (117)
collinp89 1
its called a gear stick... controls the gears... stupid americans, you cant get anything right. YDI for trying to "emasculinate" men. Come to England, we think you guys are lazy for being mainly auto drivers...
hardcore1414 0
You know what? I'm tired of this Americans suck bullshit. your dumb ******* probably isn't heaven with ok? **** off of America please? thanks.
chippa 24
#58, would you re-word that in English, please? #45, don't be a moron.
MissBunny25 0
58 I agree with your first two sentences and the last one :) I got lost somewhere in between though..
sparty12 2
do you get off on 'emasculating' your 'guy friends'?.....
brooka101190 0
It's probably because your so used to stroking a shaft.
sparty12 2
all you people complaining about so many people not being able to drive a manual....what exactly is so important about it? autos are generally safer..and really... how often is a person only going to have the option of a manual? specially in the U.S.
lifeinhd 3
Well, since you asked... 1. I can put it in neutral and coast to save gas (can do this in an auto but it damages the transmission when you put it back into drive) 2. I can shut off the engine while still moving (I actually do this all the time) 3. If necessary, I can pop the clutch to start 4. I can accelerate quicker than many V6 cars, even though I have a 1.8L i4 5. Burnouts :D 6. Car won't downshift when you lift up and put your foot back on the accelerator on the highway 7. Can hold gears longer (helps with merging) 8. Save gas (in general, not just when coasting) 9. Prolonged life 10. No fluid to change 11. Cheaper to repair/replace if something should go wrong 12. Bragging rights 13. Faster shifts And maybe some more that I'm not thinking of atm. But that being said, I'm impartial. My next car will probably be a diesel, and probably an auto (DSG). So eh.
ninjafinch624 1
Don't forget: MUCH better reliability from a manual gearbox. Also, you need both hands to drive stick, so no doing anything other than driving (texting, fiddling w/ iPod, masturbating, etc). Automatics are safer? Don't think so.
AustrianChaos 3
I really don't get what you Americans got with the automatic gears anyways - well, except for drinving huge distances, that may be a plus. A bit more comfortable.
fudgeeocookies 10
That's such a kind father. Fail.
42billybob 5
I have to agree with your dad. You didn't take the fact that you know something your friends don't as a chance to build yourself up but rather to tear your "friends" down. You also made it about sex. It's like you hate men or something.
froob 0
Almost as if she was a....
TinyDude 10
Try telling ur mom xP
Zebidee 9
Yeah, I've only ever owned manual cars, but if I'm renting I prefer automatic. There are a couple of places like Ireland and France where the only option has been manual. If I could only drive auto, I'd have been screwed. I've also rented moving vans where manual was the only option. The simple answer is to have a manual as your first car - after that, you can drive anything. P.S. - Guys, what happens when someone offers you a drive of their Ferrari - do you just stand there looking at your shoes because you have no idea how to drive it?
darkmatter78 0
most of the world drives stick shift (including women), you're no special snowflake. there must be something else you do that promptes your dad to say that you're a lesbian.